Guys, I totally agree with you about rules and consequences. My husband agrees with you.... but he's completely unable to lay down the law. I honestly think its all the guilt from the years he missed being with them before the divorce (he was in the military during the Gulf War) and all the years after the divorce where he worked 70 hours a week. He seems so defeated and tells me he KNOWS they walk all over him but he CAN'T say no.

For years he made ME be the bad guy who said no and made the punishment stick. I REFUSE to do that anymore. Someone had to step up and be a parent, hubby knew he couldn't do it so he asked me - first it was his mom being the bad guy then he got me to do it.

Now he has two out of three kids ruling the roost. I do have to say, hubby's been TRYING to lay own the law, but they all rebut "did Kim make you say that?" I wish they knew I haven't been saying or doing anything to make him FINALLY be a parent -- its all him. But even the little bit he's been doing to stand up for himself has been a small percentage of what he should be doing.

Just to mention a few things I CAN mention (other stuff would surely get some family members in serious trouble)
* One decided working one day a week was too hard so they simply quit without telling anyone. When we told them they had to grow up and assume SOME responsibility, they "ran away" and refused to come back home until the $1,000 they stole from us ran out.
* One had a bottle of vodka in their room and Cam found it.... I found him walking around trying to get the cap off to drink it.
* One had a stash of wine coolers and beer in a pillow case under their bed (was moving their bed to clean the carpets... won't tell you what the room smelled like before hubby and I cleaned it... and YES we HAD to clean the room. It was stinking up the entire house) again, Cam would have found those because he looks under the beds for his kitty friends.
* One punched me in the face and broke my new glasses because hubby was for once trying to put his foot down and all I did was say "you know your father is right" *wham* a flying fit into my eye.
* One thinks 3:30 in the morning is the perfect time to come home every night
* One cost us $3,000 in a lawsuit

I'm sure I'm missing some of the smaller things. I'm purposely not admitting to the bigger things (yes, amazingly, there ARE bigger things) All the above happened in the past 2 or 3 months. Any wonder why hubby is having issues at the moment?

I've taken to working 7 days a week at two jobs just to stay out of everyone's way and avoid fights. I'm exhausted but haven't had any fights in the past few weeks. - avoidance is wonderful for short term, but something HAS to happen soon. and it HAS to come from hubby. and I think it will. This is scaring him and the kids enough.