I'm sorry I don't have any answers for you. A friend went through this with his mother a couple of years ago. In her case, it was diagnosed as hardening of the arteries in her brain causing memory/cognitive problems.

As he lived far away, he convinced her to move to a place for seniors. When she first moved in, she was in the "independent" section, but she did not cook her own meals. Cooking was considered dangerous.

Later, she moved to an assisted living section where there's always someone nearby. It has worked out.

So, perhaps you can start talking up a senior home for your father? Many elderly people find it advantageous and enjoy the relaxed social life.

As far as "paperwork" goes, I suspect you'll need to offer to help him with it every month. He might find it a relief. If not, then insist.

As far as going to the doctor goes, can you start pressuring him about a routine chloresterol test or high blood pressure test? Something that's not so scary and easily treated?

Perhaps your question is how to insist your father does what is right for himself? I have heard many times that at this stage, parents/children go through role reversal. Try to remember how your parents pressured you to do things you didn't want to do when you were a child.

I feel some of your pain. I just finished speaking to my mother...congratulating her on her 83rd birthday. Her and dad are doing OK. Over the last year, though, I have found myself INSISTING on certain things about doctor visits and meds and getting my way. But they knew it was the right thing to do anyway.

My problem is that they moved to Florida 25 years ago and I cannot help them from here.

I'll be watching your thread to see if anyone has any good ideas to help you out. I will be in your shoes in a few years.

Good luck to you and good for you for being a caring daughter.