Death and Pets

**Catlady711** · 08-15-2007, 09:34 PM

To me your post makes perfect sense. I went through that the last few weeks Dusty was with me. From what I've read on the net it's called 'pre-grieving'. And honestly getting through that time, horrible as it was, actually helped me somewhat with the grieving process after she died. At least while 'pre-grieving' you still have your pet with you and can do all those things for them that you might not have thought of until later when they were gone.

Hope that makes sense.

Don't fear so much you stop owning pets, just enjoy each day you have with them, pre-grieve now and again if you need to, and just love them for how ever long they have with you.

**Alysser** · 08-15-2007, 10:22 PM

Dionne, you did not sound morbid at all, not in the least bit.

As with everything in life, pet ownership has it's downsides. In my opinion, the worst of those downsides is losing your beloved companion. Loosing a pet is always sad. I go through this kind of thinking alot myself, and I tear up. If I am listening to a song that associates with death, then it hurts even more. The fact that I will loose all my animals one day hurts but I think it's something all pet owners go through, especially when your pet is going down the tubes and you seem to know it.

All I can really say is while they are with you, let them live their life to fullest possible. Make everyday with them special and filled with happiness. You never know what is going to happen.

You know what is really silly to me though. When people say, "I will never get another animal, because the pain I suffered loosing him/her was to strong. I never want to go through that again". That's really silly to me. No you cannot change that a pet HAS to leave you eventually. But if you never get another animal, you're depriving yourself of many happy years of love and companionship, and all for what? Because of the grief? It hurts alot, grief. But there is a great comfort in knowing you will meet again one day and your animal lived a full, happy life with you.

Hope that made sense.

**Suki Wingy** · 08-15-2007, 10:46 PM

No. I rather have 10+ beautiful years in the companionship of my dog than nothig at all. I'm usually a "glass half empty" kinda person but when it comes to my animals I feel better to have loved and lost than to never love at all.
My grandma feels the same way as you though, she won't have another dog after the last one went to the RB at 15 years, 4 years or so ago.

**Suki Wingy** · 08-15-2007, 10:47 PM

Originally Posted by Maltese_Love

You know what is really silly to me though. When people say, "I will never get another animal, because the pain I suffered loosing him/her was to strong. I never want to go through that again". That's really silly to me. No you cannot change that a pet HAS to leave you eventually. But if you never get another animal, you're depriving yourself of many happy years of love and companionship, and all for what? Because of the grief? It hurts alot, grief. But there is a great comfort in knowing you will meet again one day and your animal lived a full, happy life with you.

Hope that made sense.

You said it better than I ever could have.

**Genny** · 08-16-2007, 04:55 AM

I think lots of people feel that way. I've thought things like that before, I'm sure everyone has at one point. But I don't stress and worry over it either. I know dogs and other animals will never live as long as people, but they bring so much joy and happiness into our lives. I would rather have them in my life whether it's 20 years, 10 years or only a few years than to never have them at all.

**dionne** · 08-18-2007, 12:17 AM

WOW. I did not expect to get so many replies for this, and DID NOT expect so many people to have the same thoughts/worries.

Everything was so beautifully said and everyone's words made sense to me. Seeing it in other people's different perspectives really gave ME a whole new perspective on the current subject.

I am so very glad that there are so many understanding people on here, and that no one thinks I'm being morbid and/or depressing. My post was just a long list of things that run through my head at certain points in time, especially with a death of a pet.

I almost thought no one really understood the bond between a person and their pet, but being on PT has really helped me understand that there are actually people who don't get pets just to kick around or "fill a void".

And yeah, now that I think about it, even though at times, I don't want to listen to the inner voice that actually makes sense, having a pet for even the shortest amount of time IS worth it.

Though sometimes I DO get overwhelmed by the short life-span of my animals, and there's not really a whole lot I can do to stop the thoughts or wish I could play God and keep my pets alive FOREVER

, I wouldn't give up the bond I share with my animals for the world.

**Callie** · 08-20-2007, 08:50 PM

I can understand that sometimes it takes a bit of time before one is 'ready' for another pet but if you consider that your getting another pet (not a replacement as that places an unfair disadvantage on the new pet and your relationship with them) as honoring the relationship that you had with your RB pet then things change.

By seeking to have another valuable relationship with a pet, it puts an entirely different perspective on things. You're honoring what they meant to you. Besides, they'd want you to be happy and not grieve too long over their passing, if they had a say in things. After all, they tried (and obviously succeeded) in making you happy in life...so why wouldn't they want you to be happy even tho' they're in your heart instead of in your lap?

Go ahead and honor your lost pet by providing the same loving care to another pet and allowing room in your heart for more love. It's a winner attitude all the way around.

Callie