This hurts so bad. It feels like somebody has ripped my heart out and all I can feel is pain. His stuff is everywhere, even after we have put a lot of it in his room and shut the door. Everything reminds me of him, from the portable clock he loved to play with to the doorknobs he liked to touch. But I can't let her win. I can't let her break me. I will fight. I will fight until he's 18 if I have to. My brother won't leave her even though she is killing my mother (mom has had several major seizures since Saturday) He says all he wants is his family (which is Stephanie) She's lied to him so much and he believes every word she says. He believes her over my dad who has never lied to him a day in his life.
I try to remember what dad said, that time, although it won't make it better, it will make it more bearable. But that may take a long, long time unless we get him back or are at least able to see and hold him. I cry for him 5 or 6 times a day. I don't know how I can live like this much longer.