Quote Originally Posted by M&M's Mommy
I think you're right. She kept telling me that had she stop talking back at him & left the room before he could get to the point of hitting her, she could have prevented it from happening. She thinks she must have provoked him somehow, otherwise he wouldn't be hurting her.
That is common thinking from battered women, as I understand it. That is incorrect, also. No one can make someone do something else unless it's predisposed in themselves. If she doesn't get out of the relationship, more than likely she'll end up dead.

Quote:
Victims often go through a period of blaming themselves for their partners’ violence. In reality, we are each responsible for our own behavior. In their efforts to avoid responsibility for their actions, batterers can be quite adept at deflecting blame onto the victim, telling her and others how things she did or failed to do “made” him do it. Unfortunately, there are some traditional cultural ideas that support his reasoning and that are still embraced by some members of our society. That such notions exist in the culture at large, makes it easier for the victim to internalize blame and harder to fight the deflection of responsibility, especially when other people echo the batterer’s excuse-making. Besides being illogical and profoundly unfair, victim blaming traps the victim in a cycle in which she keeps trying (and failing) to avoid abuse by satisfying, and even anticipating, the abuser’s every whim and mood. She fails, of course, because only he is responsible for his behavior. End Quote.
From here: http://www.wcwonline.org/joomla/inde...622&Itemid=208