Quote Originally Posted by Catsnclay
You ask when is enough, enough?????

That is a very good question, enough is when the person who is being abused has had their fill of being abused. Although a good nudge by a family member or friend does help.

Can or will her husband change? Sure, but they usually go back to the abusive ways after awhile. Why?? Because they know they can.

My parents stayed in an abusive relationship for 48 years before divorcing. Wow you say?! YES, but their reasons for staying together were laughable. They had every excuse in the book, but they really didn't know how to be on their own, until now, and you know what?....they like their lives now!

In this situation they both were abusers, she would nag until it pissed him off, in turn he would lash out, and that was the attention she wanted.....sick, huh?!

The only way to stop the abuse is to get away from it.

Yes, you will be helping your friend, but just be warned, this could also turn against you. Her husband could easily make up with her and then turn her against you.

So my advice to you is be there for your friend, but SHE is the one with the decisions.......becareful what you say to her, even though it is they truth!

Good luck!

Very good post. It is true.... you cannot tell someone they are being abused. You can be there for her but in all reality she will see the situation the way she wants to. if she truly believes he will change and it won't happen again.... you won't change her mind and if you push too hard she will start to push you away or as mentioned he will alienate her and convince her you are in the wrong.

it is a very touchy situation and I always wondered how someone could possibly stay in a situation like that and not see what is being done to them.... after being in a abusive relationship (not physically but verbally and emotionally) you don't really KNOW it's happening.... they brainwash you to believe it is your fault.... and you believe them.

So just be there for her and gently alert her to what is going on but ultimately she has to wake up and see the light in her own mind.