Ritzy was a lap cat as a kitten, but then only with my spouse (as she got older, that "groin cat" thing was also evident) ...now, at 2 1/2, she is much more aloof, but occasionally does cuddle, but rarely in the lap.

She does generally curl up with me at night for an hour or two. She is nearly always in the same room with us somewhere. If she is napping and we both get up and go into another room, she will awaken and follow us.

I think this varies from cat to cat - and don't think it is indicative of anti-social behavior. LIke some people are "huggers" and some would rather refrain.

As to the night sleeping - again, cats are night creatures by nature - Ritz exhibits the famous RCO (random cat outburst) between the hours of 9pm and midnight...but usually settles in about 2am for a long sleep.

I knew of someone who had a 16 year old cat who suddenly became a lap kitty....found out that the kitty had arthritis, and the warmth of the lap was perfect therapy!

Appreciate the cat for what he/she is. When a non-lap cat decides to show affection, you KNOW it's the real thing!