How Do You Handle This?

[Cataholic]

I heard this along time ago, and really try to remember it, especially at a time like you are having now, Val.

The way people act is a reflection of them , not you .

For me, it is easier to recall that sentiment time and again, instead of struggling with, "what did I do wrong, why did they do this to me". There are probably 15 million reasons the person betrayed you that has nothing to do with Valerie. Nothing at all. It has everything to do with where this person was in their life.

Does this help deal with the pain? I dunno. For me, it is far easier to accept that other people are sometimes doing the only thing that they can do, at the time, for their own reasons, and not to take it so personally.

Forgive? Forget? Move on? Get over it? While life is short, so are opportunities to make 'true' friends. So, take some time, examine what happened, didn't happen, and just take some Val time to see how things plan out.

[finn's mom]

Unfortunately, I can 100% relate. And, forgiveness is the only way. It already hurts to have that happen to you, but being unforgiving only hurts YOU. It doesn't really hurt the other person, it just drags you down and holds you back. Forgetting things is oftentimes impossible. But, forgiveness is a gift. I am sorry you're going through this, as I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

[moosmom]

I'd rather be a trusting person and get hurt sometimes than be suspicious of everyone and always lonely.

What a great saying! And so true too.

Val,

Don't beat yourself up over it. You're too good a person. I know how you must feel, though. To be betrayed by someone you've been friends with for so long really hurts. Just learn from it and move on. Life to way to short to hold grudges, honey.

((((((HUGS)))))))))

Donna and crew.

[Logan]

We live and learn, don't we? I'm sorry you have had such a bad experience, Val. You don't deserve it.

Just know that you will continue to be in my prayers.

Logan

[KitCat]

I spend much more time with my family than I used to. As far as friends go, I have almost turned into a hermit! Luckily my kitty is a "good person".

[momoffuzzyfaces]

Gosh, do I know this song by heart. The one who I thought was my best friend from high school, for over 25 years, did the same to me.

Took a while, and a lot of tears, but I finally was able to forgive her. Won't ever forget it but I just found the good things still in my life (like Pet Talk) and hung on to that and let the rest go.
(((HUGS)))

[lizbud]

I spend much more time with my family than I used to. As far as friends go, I have almost turned into a hermit! Luckily my kitty is a "good person".

Yes, and my pups and kitties are good friends too. I am a lot like that
too lately. Sorry you're going through this now.

p.s. I am a true believer that forgiveness helps the one who does the forgiving..

[dukedogsmom]

Thanks everyone. Lots of good advice here. I agree with Wombat and Mike. Also, I'm going to try to do the forgiveness thing for me. It truly is just hurting me by dwelling on it. Just hard not to, you know?