Really need opinions....

[My Peanuts]

I'm really sorry. I know I've said that before. It's a tough situation. I agree with the shape up or ship out idea.

[catnapper]

Oh my - its not easy, is it?

Sorry about your daughter. Trust me, I know what you're going through. You want ot shake them and ask what on earth they see in the guy. The more you make of it, the more determined they'll be to stay with the guy. Let her figure out on her own what a loser he is... I know, its hard when they are so young. But trust me, from experience with Ashley, the more you make him out to be off-limits, the more she'll do to be with him.

As for your niece, man, I have no idea! The car wash thing? I have a mean streak once I feel pushed to my final limit... I can only take so much. I'd be pouring soapy water on her as she slept and tell her that she got "washed" because she didn't wash the car! Then she's be sleeping on the floor after she cleaned up the wet bedding, and loading the washer with the sheets (kill two birds with one stone: get a point across and actually get her to do some laundry LOL) One time my son didn't take out the trash and he came home from school to find it on his bed... mind you there is MUCH more to that story, and the trash was in a bag (not as if I had strewn it all over the bed). I only did the trash thing once and he figured out real fast not to push me that far again

[Corinna]

I'm not sure what to tell you as i am having some problems with my son (he moved back in Too long to go in to Pm me if really intrested) But is this the neice who was raised by the brother who died? Didn't you say she had problems them? You are fighting the way she was raised, and you need to not apoligise but have a long Patient talk about sorry but life has changed these are my rules and if you can't live with in them find another place. Then actually make a chart of the day and what is expected. I know it sounds like your treating as a child but seems to me she is a little slow in her development and may need a structred routine. I know thats my sons problem. we have started back to it andhe is getting better. Maybe get her in to a socail setting (church group or hobby club ) of something she likes just any thing to get her moving and having a sense of self worth. Bet she blooms if she does.
I know you'll hate this next part it is hard for me too, but she was raised different and doesn't share your goal setting skills , hold your self in check and count to ten until she get's it on how your house works. Sending you huge hugs I'm there right now too.

[caseysmom]

Thanks everyone. She goes to church twice a week, I would have hoped she had some friends her age, she is in the college group at church but nope...no friends.

I have thought about making her a list everyday.

[Catty1]

I have thought about making her a list everyday.

Caseysmom....this, in just my opinion, would be just one more thing you would do that she would ignore.

I think you ought to get the uncle much more involved.

She is not going to change, the way things are right now.

She has no friends at church?

Hon, you have done so much and it is admirable...but I am wondering about her getting assessed for something. It seems she has problems that are beyond a do-it-yourself situation.

I hope you get someone else involved...

hugs!

[jazzcat]

I don't have any advice but I just wanted to give you my support in this. I know it has been hard on you.

[emily_the_spoiled]

Unfortunately I can not offer much advice on motivating your niece because I have never had this experience. I can address your questions about being a pharmacy tech (I was a pharmacist for many years).

I assure you that she will have VERY limited access to any patients in a psych hospital or prison. She will not be put in direct danger, but she needs to use some common sense when working in those types of facilities.

If she does not want to work in that environment look into your local hospitals, they also hire pharmacy techs and pay well. The difference is that there is shift work involved in working in a hospital and likely there is no shift work in the other institutions.