thanks again everyone, i have read all your replies and taken each and everyone in, i have contacted the school counsellor, and am taking it from there, she thought it was not necessary for me to tell her i had seen the folder,merely the fact i saw cuts on her upper arm last night, i was able to approach the subject ,it did of course not go down too well, she had an excuse for everything,I do think her friends have an influence on her and this emo that was mentioned just got mentioned to me by a friend, i believe this could have a bearing on it as well, she does like gothic stuff, i think one of her friends is a cutter myself, just how much is influence or a trend that i am not so sure of.

I am trying my best, to talk to her about it, but it is not achieving much, i suggested a counsellor, well she was not having a bar of that, nothing wrong with her in her opinion, she said a friend had done the stuff on her arm and it was fun, all of them did stuff like that for fun, yeah right.

I know we have a long hard road ahead of us, and i am still very concerned, even though the counsellor re-assured me, she said she was not trivilising it, but that it is very common amongst teenage girls today ,and that she would keep and eye on it, but not panic,easier said than done .

I think boys are playing a big part in her self loathe feelings too, she is getting too keen on one in particular and is feeling rejected by him i think,just reading between the lines.

Thanks for all the good luck wishes, i sure am going to need each one of them.