Alcohol abuse! PLEASE help!

[elizabethann]

Wow. You are such a rock and a god send to be there for him.

It sounds like he needs to see a doctor but also a therapist to talk about his life and his problems and to try to get through his issues with his dad.

He is very lucky to have you. I wish him (and you) the best of luck.

Take care.

[king2005]

Wow. You are such a rock and a god send to be there for him.

It sounds like he needs to see a doctor but also a therapist to talk about his life and his problems and to try to get through his issues with his dad.

He is very lucky to have you. I wish him (and you) the best of luck.

Take care.

Shawn just wants to forget about his dad & move on with his life. If it doesn't go well, I'll get Shawn to see someone.. Shawns dad wont change, as hes ditched his whole family & wished he never had it.. ya thats what young kids what to hear right? Shawns mother said its one thing for him to say he doesn't want his wife, but not wanting his kids!! Just makes us ladies sick.

If anyone is wondering Shawn is 19yrs old (will be 20 in Nov).. if it wasn't for my younger sisters drug abuse I don't think I could handle this. But since I already know what does & doesn't work, I can help Shawn much better, by being strong... Also Shawn looks up to me cause I'm older, live on my own, finished college, have a job & ditched my own mother as she was bad.. So talking & dealing with Shawn is decently easy.. also him being a super clingy person, I can get the message into his head faster, when I tell him hes hurting me (not physicaly, hes a pussy cat, not a mean bone in his body), he really WAKES up & wants to change..

I don't take advantage of his weakness on everything, just for the drug/drinking abuse. Once hes cleared from that (a couple years), I'll get on him about smoking However hes not a big smoker at all, so its not the end of the world to get him to stop any time soon (hes very respectful & smokes outside).. & I know getting him to stop everything all at once is, like playing with fire, so he needs 1 bad habbit to help cure the rest.. Smoking doesn't change his personality, but drugs & drinking does, so those had to go asap.


I think if Shawn was anyother person I would have walked out of the relationship LONG ago. But Shawn is super sweet, kind, gentle, willing to learn more (pets, computers, things I like type of deal), willing to try new things (camping.. ya the poor guy has never gone camping!), doesn't want to be a mess & is changing for the better.. Come on the guy does my dishes, helps with the laundry & cleaning He carries the heavy groceries, rushes to the store to pick up something we forgot & always tries to puts me first! Hes scared of the rats, but tries to hold them cause I like them. However hes far too scared of the turtle & wont touch him at all lol

[Muddy4paws]

You sound like a wonderful person, Hes lucky to have you so close to him, I hope everything works out ok

[Catty1]

...and he can still call AA and go to that. A dr and having a medical checkup is good too.

Shawn's father is not the problem here - Shawn is an adult, and is making some important changes. But blaming someone else takes away a person's responsibility for what they do. Do you get what I mean?

Maybe it IS his dad's fault he is where he is now - but if Shawn stays stuck there, that is SHAWN'S fault.

He's focussing on himself right now.

Jess, give Al-Anon a call and talk to someone about this too.

hugs
Catty1

[king2005]

I'll look into Al-Anon . I can't call it when Shawn is around, so I have to wait until he gets another job. I'll see if they have a website & maybe I can do emails from work.

We're going to AA tonight

[RedHedd]

I'll look into Al-Anon . I can't call it when Shawn is around, so I have to wait until he gets another job. I'll see if they have a website & maybe I can do emails from work.

We're going to AA tonight

Don't wait.

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

[Catty1]

Why can't you call it when Shawn is around?

Hopefully someone at AA tonight will tell you about some local Al-Anon meetings.

There are some AA people who go to Al-Anon also. After all, they married an alcoholic! lol

Just don't get so lost in Shawn's solution that you lose sight of yourself. You are doing fine so far. Just remember you too!

hugs
Catty1

[Vela]

...and he can still call AA and go to that. A dr and having a medical checkup is good too.

Shawn's father is not the problem here - Shawn is an adult, and is making some important changes. But blaming someone else takes away a person's responsibility for what they do. Do you get what I mean?

Maybe it IS his dad's fault he is where he is now - but if Shawn stays stuck there, that is SHAWN'S fault.

He's focussing on himself right now.

Jess, give Al-Anon a call and talk to someone about this too.

hugs
Catty1

Great post. Couldn't agree more.