You are going through a rough time with Sox and I hope you can pull him through this.
First, I am rather shocked the treatment from your vets. While it is true that some male cats do need to have their penis removed in order to stop blocking, this is usually done only after other treatments have been tried and failed. A few people on PT have cats that have gone through this surgery and hopefully they will see this thread and respond.
Did the first vet take a urine sample and test it for bacteria and crystals? The blood may have come from irritation caused by the crystals or from an infection your cat has as well as crystals. You need to know which type of crystals you are dealing with - struvite or calcium oxalate. The production of crystals can be helped quite often by a change to a special vet diet. Also, there is a diet called SD that will dissolve crystals. Calcium oxalate crystals can be caused, in part, by cats eating nuts (I found that out after my Ted ate pounds of them because he loved them and then I felt huge guilt when he got crystals), so something other than peanut butter should be used. However, when things get this difficult, anything you can get them to eat is better than nothing.
Keeping your cat hydrated is very important and your vet can show you how to give sub-q fluids at home. It will help to keep his kidneys and bladder flushed out and make him feel miles better. Many of us here on PT have kept our renal failure cats going for many extra good years just by using sub-q fluids. If your cat is hydrated, he will have a better appetite (usually).
Where do you live? Perhaps someone on PT knows a vet in your area that they can recommend.
Try this web page for some good information: http://www.fabcats.org/flutd.html
You may want to post a new threat on Cats General asking people there to look at your thread in Cat Health and offer suggestions. Cats General has much heavier traffic and will garner more responses.
Please keep us updated because we are all going to worry about Sox also. He's a lovely looking cat and I've never seen such rich brown fur.





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