Having just lost a baby last month, I know what you are going through...and It is bad. When you can, let us know what happened. If you would like grief support during this very terrible time, may I suggest visiting www.petloss.com. The folks there are real sweet and will help you as you grieve for Payton....
Until we hear from you again, may you be able to find peace in this of the saddest of hours.