I'm so sick of crying.

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

Today started out great... I didn't have school, slept in till 10, and worked at 4. Work was fine, I had this feeling of self pride for some reason, and I held my head a little higher and was a little friendlier.

My manager, Sarah, came over to the manager that was bagging for me and said to her, "One of our 9's need to go home at 8:30." (meaning someone who goes home at 9 needs to go a half hour early, our numbers were bad)

Usually, in these circumstances, the manager will single out the two or three people that are ELIGIBLE to go home, and play the "Pick a Number" game to see who gets to go home. But Sarah, FAVORING the other person, doesn't even give me a chance to TRY and go home early. Sarah is friends with the other girl, so she automatically let the other girl go home and didn't even give me a chance. Mind you, the girl she favors was doing lame ass jobs like taking baskets back, and most of the time was just sitting around doing nothing.

Now don't get me wrong, staying the extra half hour wasn't bad. It's just the fact that she isn't showing fairness and equality. Everytime I'm there, she favors this ONE girl over everyone else.

Toppping it off, she isn't even MANAGING. She is off talking to people at the service desk, wanderinig around the store, not doing her job AT ALL. It's SO irritating when you need her and have NO CLUE where she is.

*breath*

My best friends pretty much hate each other. To make a long story short, X and Y talked about dating, Y wanted to date X but thought that if something were to happen and they would break up, their friendship would be in shambles. Y said no to X, now X is being a drama queen and said that Y led her on, blah blah blah. X wants "space" from Y, and now Y is broken hearted because she feels like she ruined EVERYTHING between the three of us.


I AM SO SICK OF DRAMA.

My day started out okay, but I'm at my breaking point again. Drama, my friend and I got pulled over last night and she was a wreck, my stress-filled job, my mom, I'm just soooo tired of everything.

I can't take this anymore.

[Karen]

You need to take a little time and focus on you. Have yourself a strong cup of hot cocoa, or tea, or whatever, and realize that all these dramas belong to other people. Which ones, and how you choose to react, is up to you. You can still be friends with X and Y, but if they continue to fight, you'll quickly see which of them is truly your friend, and willing to talk about something other than the issues between the two of them. Set up ground rules if you want - "I will still be your friend, but do not talk badly about x/y to me, I will not choose between you."

Buy yourself a rose, if you likes roses (some other flower if you have a different favorite) - just a single stem won't cost a whole lot. Look at it, sniff it, and realize that there is beauty in the world. And when it begins to wilt, save a few petals and press them in a book, to have a reminder of this in the days ahead.

It is hard sometimes, to remember, but you can remain calm in the midst of a storm, and you'll be a better person for it.

Oh, and for the work thing? I can do you one better than that. I got fired from my first job because the boss didn't like teenagers. Why he hired me in the first place is a mystery, now that I know that. But what made that worthwhile was when a coworker went on maternity leave (with twins) a few months later, all the other ladies convinced him he had to rehire me! Work fo your own pride, never mind what the "manager" thinks. If it really bothers you, you could talk to her boss, but it probably isn't worth the fuss. You are a good, worthy person, you have to remember that.

[Lizzie]

That's good advice from Karen, and something I've done for myself on occasion. Sometimes I've bought a few flowers, a few hand-made chocolates, or a coffee-table book on a favorite subject, it's been my way of saying that I'm worthwhile. I remember having to go back and live somewhere I really hated when I was about 20, and I knew it would depress me. I stopped by before moving in and put a potted azalea on the table with a card I'd written to myself. When I moved in, that special welcome was waiting for me and it didn't matter that I'd done it for myself.

Your manager is probably bored with her job and has become careless. It will be noticed by her manager eventually. I should think everyone on PT has been in a job where they've had to suffer from seeing someone else favored, it happens in every workplace.

Won't you be going away to college soon? I left home at 18 to go to nursing school and I couldn't wait to get away from my step-mother; those last months at home seemed to last forever. She controlled the family with hysterics and we all fell in line because it was easier than having to cope with her fits of rage. Even if you have to live at home while you are in college, you will be starting an exciting new life and it may help you distance yourself from your home life.

[cyber-sibes]

So sorry to hear how awful your mother treats you. She sounds like a troubled woman. There is a term in recovery groups - "detachment", and it's a skill you can learn. By realizing that you have no control over people, places, and things, you can stop trying to influence them. Acceptance is a hard thing to swallow, but in the long run, the only person you really have any control over is... you! If you can step back and watch your mom as if she were someone who is in desperate need of help, you may start to feel less like a victim. You can put some distance there and not take it so personally - she probably treats everyone that way... She is making choices she will one day regret. Accept the love and care that others are showing you, and know that you are a wonderful child of God and deserve good things. You can make your own choices about how to treat others. Perhaps your own experience is helping mould you into a loving, caring, sensitive young woman. While you may not like your past, you can make choices today that will lead to a wonderful future!

[moosmom]

Megan,

Sorry I missed your call the other day. But you know how to reach me. Glad you had a good time at the game.

Angie sounds like she's got a heart of gold and WANTS to be there for you. Please, take her up on it. While your biological mother means well, she doesn't seem to get it.

Concentrate on helping yourself rather than your Mom. If you can spare a couple of bucks, get a pedicure (I should take my own advice!!), a massage or something to pamper yourself.

Again, my celly is always on. I'll be around tonight after 8 pm. Call me!!

[carole]

Megan you know what your biggest problem is you CARE too much, now i mean that in a the best way possible, but really you worry so much about every one else, you need to start thinking about YOU sweetie and that YOU are important, everyone has given you some wonderful advice and I can only agree with them, take some special time for yourself, and don't worry about your friends, they will sort it out for themselves, just be friends with them both.

Sorry to hear about work, guess there is not much you can do there, and yes unfortunately it happens, like teachers pet in school, i must say i hate that kinda stuff, so unfair, life is like that at times darn unfair.

You know you always have my love and support here on PT and anytime night or day,remember when it is day there it is often night here, so PM anytime , love and hugs to you, and I hope you can find some peace in your life soon sweetie and go do something awesome for yourself.

[Kfamr]

My manager, Sarah, came over to the manager that was bagging for me and said to her, "One of our 9's need to go home at 8:30." (meaning someone who goes home at 9 needs to go a half hour early, our numbers were bad)

Think of this part, this way.. You got more hours on the clock which = more money for you!

I love when my boss asks me to stay extra hours or fill in for someone else... more money for me!

[buttercup132]

Today started out great... I didn't have school, slept in till 10, and worked at 4. Work was fine, I had this feeling of self pride for some reason, and I held my head a little higher and was a little friendlier.

My manager, Sarah, came over to the manager that was bagging for me and said to her, "One of our 9's need to go home at 8:30." (meaning someone who goes home at 9 needs to go a half hour early, our numbers were bad)

Usually, in these circumstances, the manager will single out the two or three people that are ELIGIBLE to go home, and play the "Pick a Number" game to see who gets to go home. But Sarah, FAVORING the other person, doesn't even give me a chance to TRY and go home early. Sarah is friends with the other girl, so she automatically let the other girl go home and didn't even give me a chance. Mind you, the girl she favors was doing lame ass jobs like taking baskets back, and most of the time was just sitting around doing nothing.

Now don't get me wrong, staying the extra half hour wasn't bad. It's just the fact that she isn't showing fairness and equality. Everytime I'm there, she favors this ONE girl over everyone else.

Toppping it off, she isn't even MANAGING. She is off talking to people at the service desk, wanderinig around the store, not doing her job AT ALL. It's SO irritating when you need her and have NO CLUE where she is.

*breath*

My best friends pretty much hate each other. To make a long story short, X and Y talked about dating, Y wanted to date X but thought that if something were to happen and they would break up, their friendship would be in shambles. Y said no to X, now X is being a drama queen and said that Y led her on, blah blah blah. X wants "space" from Y, and now Y is broken hearted because she feels like she ruined EVERYTHING between the three of us.


I AM SO SICK OF DRAMA.

My day started out okay, but I'm at my breaking point again. Drama, my friend and I got pulled over last night and she was a wreck, my stress-filled job, my mom, I'm just soooo tired of everything.

I can't take this anymore.

Omg thats JUST LIKE my old manager!!! Or well both. They would go out to like kfc and bring back dinner for everyone BUT ME and noone else had to pay for it either. They would also favor one person and would bring them when they went out and they would bring them for their breaks wich they extended even though there not suposed to!
They were so stupid!! UGGH I hate my old managers I'm so glad I quite my old job!
I'm sorry your going through such a tough time you can always pm and aim me and I'll talk with you.(sometime its easier to pour your heart out over the internet to people you knw(I know it makes me feel better))
I havnt gone through the same thing but a abussive childhood and crap yes Ive been there. If you cant talk to you dad in person without crying maybe write him a note. I do that cause I know I'll end up crying too if I talk to my mom in person (so I have her on msn instead)
good luck I hope things will shape up

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

Today's been alright. Mom just picked me up, we went to go grocery shopping, everything was fine. We laughed, joked, had a good time.

I like having days like this where I feel like I can connect with her and we get along well with eachother. They do not come often, by any means, but they are enjoyable.

Mike... oh my gosh, you guys... I know you probably hate me, but he asked me out again (*cringe* I know, AGAIN...) and I said yes. We've been happily dating for over a month. Things are going smoothly and I couldn't be happier knowing we're together, happy and things are working and lasting.

About caring too much, I know I do, and I can't help it. I swear to GOD I wasn't born with the ability to care for myself... don't get me wrong, I shower and take CARE of myself, but when it comes to putting myself before others, I just CAN'T do it. I try so hard, and so many people have told me to take care of myself and not worry so much about people, but I can't, I just freaking CAN'T. I can't. I've never been able to do it, and probably never will. I care about you guys SO much, it's just me. I was BORN to try and make OTHER PEOPLE happy, it's what I do. It's what I've always done. I always try to make other people happy, make sure everyone else is okay before I even THINK about tending to myself. I am always last on my priority list.

You know what? I was working last night, (Sarah was there, nicer...) and X and Y came into the store together! They are friends again! I was SOOO happy seeing them laughing and linking arms with each other... my gosh. The past DAY has been great. I love it.

Things are going good, I have to go help Angie and the girls with some Girl Scout stuff tomorrow. So far so good, guys.

[Alysser]

I'm happy you had a good day!

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

Me too. Jenny and Gavin just came over for a bit too. It was nice to see them.

[carole]

Megan it was lovely to read your post, i could feel your happiness,and it was good to hear, and great that you had a good time with your mother, treasure those moments, and when-ever you are feeling low or bad about her, try and focus on those times, hopefully you will experience more happy times with her and the bad ones will become less.

You know what caring as much as you do is indeed what makes you the special young lady that you are,i hope you choose a career in life where you can put your ability and skill to good use, because not everyone is like you sweetie, it is a quality about you that I admire so much, your giving , caring sweet nature.

Just be careful to try and make some time for yourself, if you are always giving and caring for others you will reach burn out and then you won't have the energy or desire to help others as you do now, so that is all we are saying.

You take care now ya here and I hope things continue to improve and you can feel this happy on a more regular basis, love ya.

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

Mike and I hugged for the first time (I know, a month and our first hug was today...) but it was so wonderful. I felt so safe in his arms, and he just rubbed my back... it was so cute. And he hugged me AT WORK... we're still a little "undercover" at work, but *sigh*.

I'm just so scared... I've put my heart out on the line now. We've shared a special moment... I just HATE the feeling that he could break my heart whenever he wanted... I'm scared of being in love.