I'm so sick of crying.

[Vela]

I'm sorry you have to go through all that. I know how you feel because my mother was a lot the same. She was very abusive and I always felt like I was nothing, and she told me I was nothing and treated me like I didn't matter. I have been on my own since I was 16 because of it and I had a lot of hard years because of the anger I couldn't let go of. Just remember you DO matter and as hard as this seems right now you have to try REALLY hard not to let it shape your whole life. I can only reemphasize what the others have said above, and encourage you to turn to the people who DO love you. You are lucky, I didn't even have that, my dad disappeared when I was 8 and I had nobody else, so at least you have that. Take heart that there ARE people who care what happens to you and that you are worth a lot more than your mom is treating you like. Don't let her life define yours, or it will eat you up. It's hard! I know it is. You can't control her actions or what she does, so you can only protect yourself and your feelings. Write her a letter, if you can't talk to her face, and tell her how much what she is doing is hurting you and making you cry, how much anger and pain she is causing you. You never know, it might be enough to turn her around. It's worth a try. I don't usually give advice on these topics but I can understand how you feel to a certain degree because I've felt it. I don't want to see it affect your entire life so that you can't be happy. Sometimes life isn't fair, I always felt that way too when I would see my friend's families who had "normal" moms. Keep your chin up, you still have your whole life to live, and your mom will be the one missing out in the end.

[Catty1]

NO, Megan, it is NOT fair - you are not supposed to be the caregiver, SHE is. She is sick.

If for some reason, you can't live with your dad and Angie, call a women's shelter, a teen hotline, anything. You need rescue and support - and you can't keep living there.

I hope you are not staying with her because you will feel responsible if anything happens to her. She is an adult and knows there is help.

Sweetie - you need to get out of that house. Your mom's sickness is infecting and affecting you. A women's shelter or the police will have resources.

HUGS

Catty1

[slleipnir]

Hey, sorry to hear Meg. I have no idea what to say. She doesn't sound like she's being very thoughtful of you....Hope you feel better

[*LabLoverKEB*]

Well, I don't exactly know what is going on. ... but all I can say is that I'm so sorry, Megan, really, I am.

[luvofallhorses]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I really, really hope things start looking up for you. We all love you and care about you. I hate to see that you are hurting. ((hugs)) I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

[Alysser]

I hate seeing anyone go through such a horrible situtation. I hate this. You don't deserve this at all. You deserve so much better and I can't believe your mother is actually putting this all on you. Megan, everybody gave you wonderful advice and I hope things get better for you as soon as possible!
((((HUGS))))
Alyssa

[Anita Cholaine]

I'm so sorry Megan

I know you don't deserve this at all... Try to think of all the things you have, and that are really important.. You have a life and lots of people who care about you.. Don't let your mum ruin it... (I know it must be hard, since I'm a quite similar situation with my mum...)

(((hugs))) and feel free to PM if you need to talk...
Hope to see you better soon...
Natali

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

So my mom tried to make up for Thursday night by taking me out to dinner and taking me to Barnes & Noble.

She never said ANYTHING about Thursday night. No apology, no explanation, no nothing. She bought me and my brother dinner and Fazoli's, took us to B&N and bought my BROTHER a book. She made me buy my own.

A dinner out and a trip to B&N doesn't make up for 17 years of neglect and hardships and not having a mom PERIOD.

My dad, brother, Angie and her two kids went to the Brewer's baseball game this afternoon. It was the most fun I've had in months. Despite Angie being drunk by the end of the night, she hugged me multiple times and told me she loved me. Something I don't even get from my biological mother. She sang songs with me, offered to buy me things (which I politely refused), and every once and a while would put her hand on my shoulder, or on the small of my back, like she wanted me to know she was always there, keeping an eye on me. Today was a blast, we bonded with Angie's kids and had so much fun. (JJ Hardy is a HOTTIE HOTTIE!)

I also got a wonderful message from Donna, (sorry I missed your call, I was at the game!) which made my day even better. Thank you so much.

Things are still tense between my mother and I, and I'm not ready to talk to her about things. I wish I would have said what I wanted to say Friday morning, the morning after she was missing, but I was absolutely fuming and it wouldn't have been the best time, being before school and all.

Finally, I'll attach some pictures of Angie, the kids, and the baseball game. It was such a great experience. I'm glad I have someone like Angie in my life now.

(L to R; Dad and brother, Dad and Angie, Weinie Race!, all the kids (me, jake, ashley and katlynn) and last is Angie on the bus back, singing... she had TOO much to drink!)

[Karen]

Glad you had a fun day, you deserve it. Guess Angie is one of those people (there are always plenty, at the games I have been to) who think beer & baseball are a great match!

[luvofallhorses]

I am glad you had a great time, you deserve it.

[Alysser]

I'm so glad you had a good day! I hope their are many many more to come.