If another animal marked any of the plants you brought in, your husband may have a point. She might be making her statement in answer. I have a large cat family and some do want more privacy... Is there a possibility of putting a box for her in the basement? (Sometimes it is easier to accomodate than to change...)
You should also rule out any health issues. While it is mostly toms that get crystals, it can happen to females and there are other infections that can occur.
Good luck.
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