Divorce is never easy and I would have to say, I went through one of the worse. My lawyer, kiddingly tells me I paid for his new car and they named the new wing of the office after me, I invested that much into getting out of my marriage.

But I have to say after almost 4 years of court battles, losing every penny I had and then some and going through a major depression for a time, I'm very happy I did it. I found me again and in time a new love, new life. It is a battle and you have to be aware that some more bad times might be coming, but if you can see/know that in the long run, your future will be better, you go through it. It's the long term future, that I looked too. I needed to find that old me again, that people told me was lost.

When my life got to the point that I was just going through the days, empty inside, nothing to look forward to and a husband that I can't even talk to any more, you ask yourself is this what I want. Do I want, one day, at 70/80, to look back and say what a lonely wasted life, I had. When I realized that if I divided up my time with him % wise, more then 70% of it I was unhappy, 20% just OK and 10% happy, I knew it was time to leave the marriage. No one's life can be 100% happy, but when the marjory of it, is unhappiness, it not fair for both parties to stay in it. If it can't be repaired, like ours, then it becomes a matter of deciding, can I live the rest of my life like this? or Can I start over and rebuild a happier future for me? and is that future worth the rough road I might have to take to get there?

You have some hard thinking to do, it sounds like and I know how hard that is going to be. What ever road you take, decided it for yourself, not by any of our stories or your friends stories of divorce. Only you know, what you can and can not live with and what hopes you have for the future. It does help to find someone to talk it out with, but only someone that can see all sides, not someone that might lead you one way, their way.

I wish I could be of more help for you, I so know what you are going through, it took me over a year to get up the courage to ask for a divorce, it is one of the hardest decisions you will have to make. I wish you all the best, what ever road you take.