Oh no... I know how you feel, just not to the extent. My dog Samantha broke her collar one night last November and took a tour of the neighborhood. It was pitch black outside and we couldn't see anything until I called her name and she ran right in front of a speeding SUV - I saw the light glare her eyes. My family and I had to box her in and my brother carry her back in the house. I will never forget how horrible I felt - sick to my stomach, in tears... I'm so sorry you have to go through this. You and Eli are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope he comes home safe to you.