My friend Kathy did not change her name when she was married. So the she is Kathy Smith; her hubby is Davey Jones and the kids are all Jones.

Since Kathy is the one who opens any letters / cards from me (she knows from the return address label) I just send it to Kathy Smith. Then inside the ard, I list the names.

Birthday cards to the kids get addressed to the kids.

I haven't a lcue what the "etiquette" is, but since she is a good friend, this works. (I put Mr. & Mrs. Jones and Family once and got a phone call. The only Mrs. Jones is his mom.)