Candace,

I believe in forgiveness. I also believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt. But if someone has done me wrong, I will forgive, believe me, but I will never forget. It's almost impossible to forget.

I don't believe in revenge. Serves no purpose and only drops you down to their level.

About 13 years ago, I broke my foot at my best friend's apartment, which was owned by her boyfriend's mother. I normally don't believe in lawsuits unless it's for a good reason. At the time I was unemployed and had no medical benefits. I filed a lawsuit against Bobby's mother's homeowners insurance for my medical benefits only, after it was determined that the steps I fell on were not up to code. Bobby (her boyfriend) was livid. It caused a 13 year rift between Pam and I. Then one day out of the clear blue sky, she called me. She was crying and asked me to please forgive her but she had no choice. (she, her daughter and Bobby lied under oath at the depositions that I was drunk at the time, it happened at 10 am and I was sober as a judge).

She married Bobby two years ago (they've been together for 20 years) and he told her I would NOT be welcome in their home. They live apart right now cuz they're looking for a house and need to sell his mother's home and her condo. She flat out told Bobby that she and I were best friends and if I can forgive her and move on, then he should be able to do the same. It'll take time I guess. But, to be honest with you, I don't care. Didn't like him, never did.

Do I trust her? Not anymore. Up until the incident, I trusted her with my life. But, then she gave me every reason not to. Doesn't mean I don't love her.

I can forgive, but I will never forget. Doesn't mean I haven't moved on.

Candace,

Going to dinner and a movie with your Mom sounds great. Like you said at least you can avoid the mall madness. Another thing is you and your Mom can ignore each other at the movies.