Bailey the Labrador went to the RB

[Medusa]

I'm too sad and angry right now to post anything more than this. I'll post more in a little while. I've got to compose myself. Thanx, friends.

[Freedom]

Mary, OH NO!! I thought the last update was upbeat and showed improvement? Send me a PM if you wish. Thinking of you at this time.

[Medusa]

Mike called as I was on my way to the office and told me "Bailey's in heaven." I wasn't expecting it because last I heard, she was improving greatly. I still don't know all the details because, as I said, I was driving and I got so upset that I had to pull the car over. I ended up going back home because I was due to receive a furniture delivery today and they screwed up the delivery times, so I'll have to go back later. As it turns out, Bailey did have a brain tumor. Mike had just dropped her off at the emergency clinic and was on his way home when they called and told him that she took a turn for the worse. He said (his words), "End it." He didn't go back to be w/his little Bailey. He let her die with strangers. I had given instructions to the vet to call me so that I could be w/Bailey should they need to put her to sleep. But the emergency clinic didn't get those instructions. I'm so sick about this, I can't stop shaking. Mike said "Thank goodness Julie (another friend) was w/me. I don't know what I would've done otherwise." That's when I had to pull the car over. Oh yeah?! Well, what about Bailey? You had someone w/you. Didn't she deserve the same kindness?

I apologize again, friends, for my rant. I don't want to use PT as my own personal forum. But you've all supported me in this and you know my feelings on the subject of helping our beloved pets to the RB. I'm feeling so guilty that I wasn't w/her. What a crappy, crappy day.

The furniture store just called and they're on their way to my office, so I've got to go but I'll check in later. Thanx, friends, for all your loving words and support. And I know that now Bailey appreciates it, too.

[Catty1]

Better with caring strangers than a ********** (add whatever letters you want in there) like Mike! His hysteria and self-pity would have been bad for the staff and for Bailey. :mad:

I hope you get to talk with someone there later...perhaps Bailey worsened so quickly that they had to deal with it, just calling Mike.

I KNOW how you wanted to be there...OMG.

I hope you hear from the clinic.

HUGSHUGSHUGS to you, my dear. I wish I could make it all better.

Bailey will be YOUR Pet Angel now.

I'm so sorry, Mary...

[critter crazy]

:( Oh I am so sorry!! RIP Bailey! At least Bailey is no longer suffering, and is playing hard at the Rainbow bridge!

[catmandu]

Baileys got his wings and is helping the Pet Angel Army in Las Vegas getting things ready for All thier Visitors and Guardians.
Bailey is having a party in his honor at the finest Steak House in the City where a 3 Pound Steak will be there cooked to perfection.
He knows that you wanted to be with him, but he knows that he will come and be with you when you get too sad.
And that you will be together for eternity when your time comes to cross that Rainbow Bridge.
One Fine Day.

[jennielynn1970]

Oh No! Poor Bailey! Well, at least she is at peace now, but how sad that she had to go and had only strangers by her side. She must have been so scared. I was so hoping that she was getting better. Knowing the huge loving and forgiving souls of animals, she has already forgiven him. I don't even know him, but I don't think he deserves it. You were a godsend to Bailey. I'm so glad that you were there for her, so much more than her owner. You truly cared about her wellbeing.

Mike should be ashamed of himself. He took the coward's way out and told them to put her to sleep while he wasn't even there for her. I don't know who Julie is, but she must have poor taste in companions. Part of me hopes that he won't have another pet to put through this again. Get him a pet rock. That's all he can take care of.

[Whisk_Luva]

RIP Bailey

(PS whys it in cat memorial?)

[Medusa]

Karen allowed me to put it there because I had written a previous thread about her. I won't do it again but she indulged me this one time. :)

[lvpets2002]

:( Mary thats quite alright where your Thread is.. You have nothing to be sorry for & no one needs to be asking for your apologies.. You have been greiving so much.. We all understood.. Huggss & Prayers.. Try to have a very nice Easter..
Karen allowed me to put it there because I had written a previous thread about her. I won't do it again but she indulged me this one time. :)

[Genny]

I'm so sorry Mary; that's so sad about Bailey. I know how you feel because when I thought I was going to have to put my collie to seep after 10 years because she had a huge tumor that ruptured I was so so scared for her and so sad and upset. My mom wanted to know if I wanted my dad to just carry her to have it done, but I said NO. If we carried her I wanted to be with her all the way til the end. I didn't want her to be afraid or scared. Thankfully, she went on the Heaven on her own and we didn't have to get her pts. I was glad we didn't have to because the thought of it was killing me inside. I still miss her every single day and there is never a day that goes by that I don;t think about her.

I'm so so so sorry about Bailey. I know you wanted to be there and I'm so sorry that they didn't call you which they definitely should have since you asked them to. I know that Bailey must have really loved you though. Please take care...

Genny

[phesina]

Oh, Mary, what a horrible, horrible way for this to turn out! And how heartbreaking. I'm so sorry. You did absolutely everything that you could possibly have done for dear Bailey. And still it turned out like this, due to Mike's thoughtlessness and irresponsibility and, resulting from that, circumstances completely beyond your control, i.e., her winding up at the emergency vet's, who didn't know to call you.

As somebody or other, I don't remember who, once said, There Ain't No Justice (or TANJ for short). Not in this particular plane of existence, anyway. BUT:

I think (hope, anyway) that these things all get settled out at the end and that Bailey knows everything now. Mike was not worthy of her. She is resting and healing peacefully and settling in at the Bridge, knowing and grateful for how loved she is by you and now by so many Pet Talkers. She will be there to greet you and welcome you, One Fine Day (thank you, Gary). And she is just in time for the big Easter party in Vegas!

Thank you for posting in the Cats Memorial section. I might have missed it elsewhere.

We are all sending our hugs and purrs of love and support,

Pat, Priscilla, Peony, Poppy, Sydney, and Elmer

[Taz_Zoee]

That just makes me so sad that Bailey had to go through that alone. :( That is not okay. At least you can rest easy knowing she is no longer in pain and is having a blast at the Bridge. (there seems to be a lot of pets going to the Bridge lately, are they having a party up there or what?)
Thank you for wanting to be there with his dog even if he didn't. :mad: You have such a kind heart. :)

[kb2yjx]

O NO!!! O, Mary, I am so sad to read about Bailey. Unfortunately, like a few people I know that have pets, Mike was not there for Bailey when she needed him the most! But like others have posted, at least there were caring people there with her at the end. Bailey knows very well, Mary, how you tried to be a good advocate for her!!! Sleep softly, dear Bailey...

[Medusa]

It just hurts me to think that Bailey wasn't cradled in Mike's arms when she passed. She absolutely adored him; you could see it in her eyes. He mentioned it all the time, too. And to think that the last words she could've heard are "I love you, Bailey" but instead she more than likely heard "Ok, start the injection." I just get so sad. No animal should have to endure that. Even the ferals that I rescued that had to be PTS were held and softly spoken to so that they knew the human touch and experienced some loving kindness before they left this plane. I'm still so shocked and angry that Mike could do that to Bailey. I haven't spoken to him since. In spite of it all, I know that he's grieving. But I also know that he's relieved that he didn't have to be there when she died. And that's why I don't want to talk to him.

[JuniorxMyxLove]

I see how all of you are so angry at this Mike. But have you thought about how hard it must have been to know that his baby was dying? You said that you could tell how much she adored him...maybe he would have felt guilty, knowing he was allowing them to do this to her. Maybe not being there was the only thing he could bear. I don't know him...so I can't say this is why, but I think it might be. Perhaps he didn't want his last memory of Bailey to be her drifting away....to never wake up....

That said, I am soo sorry. I know how hard it is to lose a good friend. A broken lamp or a ripped tee-shirt can be replaced. Your best friend cannot.The day Bonnie died was horrible for me. I wasn't even home. I felt soo bad that I hadn't been there to hold her as she left us in our kitchen. But, I guess she wouldn't have wanted me to go through the pain of watching her go. I got to say goodbye in the vets office, where we took her, but I still couldn't believe she was gone. I know it's hard. It'll be 3 years ago this august, and yet I'm still crying as I write this.

Although Bailey wasn't held by the person she loved most when she left this world, she got a warm welcome when she arrived the Bridge. All of the PT animals knew who she was.

This might make you cry, but its beautiful.
http://www.indigo.org/rainbowbridge_ver2.html

-Melanie

[Medusa]

Nope, sorry, I cut him a lot of slack on this one but this wasn't about Mike. It was about Bailey. It is indeed painful to have to put our best friends to sleep if/when the time comes. But it's the last act of kindness we'll ever do for them. He needed to put on his big boy pants and handle it. No excuses. Thanx for your thoughts, though. And I'm sorry for your loss of Bonnie. We here at PT have been there and we feel for you, too.

[Medusa]

After reading over your post again, I felt the need to say something else. Just a few months earlier, this guy scolded his friend who said that he didn't think he was going to be able to be there when his dog was put to sleep because it was too emotionally painful. He told him that he didn't deserve to have a pet. So his friend gathered up his courage and was there when he put his dog to sleep. Then Mike had a chance to do right and he didn't. If he had said "I don't think I can do it alone. Would you be there w/me?", it would've been a different story. But he was in his truck, he had the time to turn around and go back and he chose not to. He CHOSE to allow his beloved pet to be alone when she crossed over. My ex-husband agonized over being out of town on business when our dog died and he couldn't be there when it happened. He cried for 3 days straight, cried through business meetings and cried on the phone to me because he felt so guilty. I didn't hear guilt in Mike's voice, only relief, and not even relief that Bailey's suffering was over, relief that he didn't have to deal w/it. And THAT'S what made us all so angry at Mike.

[JuniorxMyxLove]

Hmmm.. He's wierd. ;)

That's all I have to say about it (no offense)

[Medusa]

None taken. :)

[catmandu]

As hard as it would be I cannot imagine not wanting to be there when one of my Companion Cats passed on, if just to let them know that I was there for them.
But there are people who would hate to been seen crying , and maybe thats why your friend didnt want to be there. I certainly would not like to been seen crying in public and often have to be at the Vets for a while until I regain my composure.
But I would feel badly if I was not there for my Family of Cats.

[Medusa]

Nope, that isn't the reason either. He's quite dramatic and isn't ashamed or embarrassed to cry in public or in front of others. I know that you're trying to give him the benefit of the doubt as I and several others did. And bless you for it. But he just was not there when he was needed most. He had someone w/him and she could've been there to help him through it, he could've called me, too. He chose not to. He always chooses the easy way out but I didn't think he'd do that to Bailey, his favorite. Live and learn.

[TopCat3]

Oh Mary that is so sad. So very sad. I wouldn't mind betting no matter how hardened emergency vets have to be at these times, (to protect themselves really, they must see some awful things) nevertheless I think they would've been gentle and kind to Bailey, stroked her and soothed her. "Poor baby" is more likely what she heard, and felt cared for and comforted. She probably felt grateful some kind person was helping her to sleep the long healing sleep she was craving, and that was enough for her.

Maybe to set your mind at rest and get some closure for yourself you could call or go and see them and have a few words with them - the emergency vet people I mean?

Sorry I only just saw this, I've been "off air" a bit lately.

RIP now Bailey, your love was always unconditional, you can teach us so much.

[Medusa]

Thank you so much for that. It really helps. I didn't mean to sound as though the emergency clinic people were unfeeling. Far from it. One of my vets is on the board there and he should be canonized. I just felt that Bailey, being the sensitive dog she was, needed to see Mike's face, hear his voice and feel his touch as she was crossing the threshhold. She was denied that and it was unfair, especially since she would've crawled on broken glass for that man. But your words gave me comfort and I appreciate it immensely. And I may take your suggestion and visit the clinic. Bless you for posting this.

[sam5263]

Hi.

Let me begin by sending my deepest condolences. I've never met Bailey, yet I feel your pain. I had to put my baby to sleep this past Tuesday.

I am new to this site, and I, like many others, have been brought here under tragic circumstances. We try our very best to make sure that our friends have as much comfort in death as they do in life. Just keep in mind that the same way you have cared for others that have moved on the same way, Baily was probably comforted by a not so familiar, yet loving hand.

I can understand your frustration with Mike. People are funny creatures, and we all handle grief differently. Perhaps he is not as strong as he makes out to be, and at the last minute cracked under pressure. In fact, I've heard that some people get so hysterical at that moment that they only make this matter worse for the pet, who easily gets upset when we get upset.

You gave Bailey a great life, and I know she thanks you for it.

[Medusa]

Thank you for your kind words. And welcome to PT. I appreciate what you say and I agree to a point. However, it isn't how he handled grief that upset me. It's how he handled her passing, what took place before her death, not after. He should've been there w/her, no excuses. He could have been there, he chose not to be. If he had been, however he chose to grieve would've been acceptable. I don't force my beliefs on anyone and that includes grieving. But when you have a pet, you see her life through to the end. It's the last act of kindness that we'll ever do for our pet friends. He turned his back on her. I'm sure the people at the emergency clinic were kind to her but it would've been so much more comforting to her had her "dad" been there. He fell far short of being a true friend. He constantly made it about him, his stress, his emotional pain, his financial strain, all the while Bailey had seizures nearly every hour for over two weeks. And when he could've been there to help end it, he turned the other way. No, no free pass for this guy.

[-Pickle-]

I havent really been following baileys story, but anyway, i am so sorry for your loss. i had to have my dog put down last year, my parents took him out to the vet, i heard the key turn in the door, i ran downstairs to give my old duffer dog blue a big hug-
just a lead, and an empty collar.
no dog.
Mike ( which is weirdly my B******* of a stepdads name too)
took the cowards way out- there was no one there for Bailey- she died with total strangers, probably wondering where he was.
if he ever goes on life support, and has to be turned off, just phone the hospital, and tell them to just turn it off like he did to Bailey.
harsh? yes. deserving? in my eyes, yes.
Time will heal the wound, but it will more than likely leave a scar, just the fact that you werent there, and the thought of that there ws no one there is enough to scar.
RIP you little RB rascal- hey, maybe my dog can give you some pointer and show you around? look for a black collie cross with a really long nose and his sister, Purple (my dogs name was Blue) that looks about the same.