Alex is gone, and my heart is breaking

[jennielynn1970]

Ok, so I received a call from our shelter administrator on Sunday and she asked me if I could pick up a cat from the Emergency Vet since I lived really close by and she didn't want him stuck there because we were expecting a large snow storm. Sure, I said, and went to pick up Aramingo, the cat that was supposedly taken to the vet.

So, I'm there, and they're telling me that they couldn't find anything wrong with him, except for the fact that his white cell count was 39,000, and both of his protein counts were high as well. Nothing else was said, just that "oh he's so sweet" and I went on my way.

I get home, open the carrier (they gave him to me in the carrier while I waited in the lobby), and I pull out... NOT ARAMINGO. I'm looking at this cat and thinking, there is no way this is the cat it was supposed to be. Aramingo is large and chubby and is polydactly. This cat was medium sized, lanky and had only 5 toes per foot. Also, this cat WAILS like a fire engine! I know that wail, I thought, and the drippy eye!!! This is ALEX from the shelter. Yes, they are both in the same room but except for them both being black cats, they are totally different.

So, I put Alex on the floor and he's very wobbly. He was very disoriented, and he was walking in circles. It was very odd. Plus there was a LARGE bump on his forehead. No one at the ER said anything about him walking funny or much other than "There's a bump on his forehead". They were looking for signs of a UTI, because Aramingo gets blocked. Alex, however, does not have that issue, so they didn't pay attention to anything else.

I then heard from another volunteer that he possibly fell from the loft in his room at the shelter. The loft is a good 9ft off the floor. She said that they heard a thump, then there was water spilled all over the floor, Alex was all wet, and a towel from the loft was on the floor as well. They said Alex was just sitting there, and so they thought nothing of it. No one noted it in the log book either....

Then just last night I heard that another volunteer was concerned that Alex was wailing/screaming so loudly in the loft the day before. The one woman who runs the shelter wasn't concerned. The volunteer went in to his room, pulled him out of the loft and he quieted down immediately.

Alex has wailed like this for as long as I can remember going there. His eyes have always been runny as well. We were always just told "Oh, that's just Alex, that's how he talks." If I could get a better video, and get the sound on it, I'm telling you, you'd know immediately that this was not just talking. This is distress!!!!

So, I take him to my vet. I love my vet office. He turns off the light and is looking at Alex and says, "Well, I doubt that he sees anything at all. His cataracts are so thick, I can't see through them with this light or anything!"

So... how long was he blind? I don't know. How long since he had even been looked at or had an exam where they looked at his eyes?! I thought that the ER people would do a general H&P, check ears, teeth, eyes, etc.. and rule things out. I guess not.

So, Alex is not going back to the shelter. I will not subject him to being scared and the risk of falling and possibly breaking his neck or doing some horrible damage to himself.

What I don't know is how to really deal with a blind, and partially deaf, older cat. I'm trying to keep the room free from clutter in the middle. I'm blocking off corners because he tends to find them and then cant' get out of them and wails and wails till I come running to get him. Poor thing ended up in a cat carrier, couldn't figure out where he was, didn't turn around and go out and wailed in there. It's just so sad!!!! My other foster, Frankie, is in there and he's very sweet with him. Alex isn't too thrilled at the moment, but they are very good with one another.

I'm going to attach a video of Alex walking. I also think it's a conditioned response as well because he had less than 4x3 ft square to walk around in for the past 4+ years. It's like the size of the circle is what he knew was safe, and that's all he does. It's always counter clockwise, and about the same size. It's just sad. I want to cry just watching him. He lets me hold him and cuddle him and he purrs and warbles these cute meows to me (not a wail at all, but a normal kitty sound).

If you can suggest anything, I'd really appreciate it. I'm just at a loss as to how to get him to acclimate easier to the room and to know that he is safe.

Alex (black cat in photo)
http://i162.photobucket.com/albums/t261/jenn_librarian/Alex.jpg
http://i162.photobucket.com/albums/t261/jenn_librarian/Alexcareful.jpg

Video, poor quality :(
http://i162.photobucket.com/albums/t261/jenn_librarian/th_HPIM0355.jpg (http://s162.photobucket.com/albums/t261/jenn_librarian/?action=view&current=HPIM0355.flv)

[DrKym]

Jenn,
My Io is blind and brain damaged from being thrown from a car as a kitten.
All I can tell you is it will take some time. We obviously do not move furniture around much. We also were told by our vet to use treats as a smelly safe line.
It has worked well, he has completely figured out the whole house downstairs. He is a total lap cat upstairs because the remodeling throws him off.
Now he is a bit less inclined to run up and meet new kitties, he prefers to let them come to him, and he still sometimes will bump into things but not often.

I wish you well with this boy, and if I can help with any other things about a blind wonderguy, let me know!

Kym

[Freedom]

Oh Jenn, how wonderful of you to take in this kitty!!! So the shelter has let you adopt him permanently? He's been in a cage at the shelter for 4 YEARS??? And no one recognized that he is blind? Oh the poor poor baby!!

I don't have experience with a blind cat, but I would agree with Kim that is it going to take him time to adjust to a normal living situation. My Cuddles was in a cage at the shelter for 18 months, she has no health issues, and it took her over a week to adjust to a room! Never mind an entire house, that was way too much, overwhleming for her. So he needs some boundaries so he can explore and figure out where he is at any given time.

Pick one room for him, place litter, food and water bowls and try not to relocate them on him. Also a bed. Those things will help him learn "7 steps from the bed to the litter box," and "5 steps from the litter box to the water dish." Instead of an entire room, you may even want to section it off for a start.

ER will only look at what they are told is the possible problem. They do not take in anything else, assuming that is being taken care of by the primary. It is the same for humans in the ER.

the pacing sounds exactly like what caged animals do at zoos! Poor, poor kitty.

Did your vet mention, can cats have cataract surgery, as dogs can?

Your post left me wondering, was Aramingo still at the ER vet???

Sandra

[KitCat]

You are a wonderful person and I am sure with your caring and patience the kitty will know he is safe.

[jenluckenbach]

Poor Alex. He will be so much better once he learns his new place.

Just to answer some questions, Aramingo was NEVER at the ER. Whoever took this (black) cat in to the ER did not know which cat they had. :(

And Alex was not caged. Our shelter has "rooms", but his room is very small. There is lot of verticle space (shelf upon shelf, up each of the walls and then an over head loft), but the floor space is minimal. This is one room in our shelter that I do NOT like. I feel the cats in there NEVER get to run. And come on, let's be real, ALL cats, no matter what the age, want to run at some times.

So Alex must have found his way up to the loft and then fallen off the edge onto the floor. :(

As far as advice for helping him, I have none. The only cat I ever had who was blind had lived here many years before he wnet blind, so her knew the area and the other cats. He adusted on his own.

Good luck with that sweet boy.

[emilysgk]

Oh that poor boy! Im glad you have him now. I just dont see how no one noticed this sooner? Im sure he will adjust in time. I have no experience with blind cats, only a dog. I rescued her from a breeding kennel!! She always done quite well and in time knew her home very well. She would even get excited and jump around, it was the cutest thing. (I found a home with a sweet lday who can't have kids, spoiled rotten)

Maybe encourage him with treats or something to walk farther in a strait line? Maybe that will help him realize that he has more freedom. I just feel so bad for him. :( I cant imagine being in a small room, that he can only go up in and he couldnt see a thing. I know he is in a good place now, im sure it wont take long for him to figure it all out.

[Medusa]

Oh the sweet boy. And bless you for keeping him. I know you've got oodles of love to give him and that's what he needs more than anything right now. My Creamsicle is partially blind, she has no peripheral vision so I doubt that anything I say will be helpful to you. A friend of mine had a blind cat who stretched out her legs/paws in a motion similar to swimming and kinda felt her way around. That's how she eventually handled it. I'm just so glad you took this boy in. I KNOW he's gonna be alright, after a breaking in period and lots of love and patience.

Blessings,
Mary

[jennielynn1970]

To answer some questions...
For now I am fostering Alex. Unless there is an adopter out there who would have a single level house and lots of patience and hopefully background in having blind pets (I want him well taken care of, not reprimanded for things he can't help), he'll be with me till the end. I will not put him back in the shelter, because it is not appropriate for a blind cat. Too many nooks, crannies, lofts and places to fall from (again).

Aramingo never went to the vet. The volunteer thought Alex was Aramingo, and that's why he went to the vet. I still wonder what would have happened if they had known it was Alex and just ignored it as his being normal. Well, I guess I do know.. he'd still be there :(

He is doing well up in the room I have him in. He cries out every once in a while, like, where is everyone?! Frankie stays close by him, and is very sweet to him. Alex was grooming him again today as they were both sleeping on my lap. Last night I was holding Alex and he fell asleep, so I laid down on the bed up there with him, and we both napped for about an hour. He stayed asleep and I went to spend time with the fosters in the next room. I have two other fosters up stairs, and they are such good boys too. One is a russian blue mix and the other is a black domestic short hair. Woody, the russian blue, is FIV+ and very sweet and docile. Sassy, the black cat, has an anxiety condition and pulls out his fur, and the owner who had him before was very heavy handed with him and he will bite out of fear with even the slightest tap on the nose. I've had Woody a year and a half, and Sassy a year. Sassy has come a long way and is so loving and just wants attention and to know he's safe and loved. Unless I find him a home where they too will understand his fears, he will go nowhere else. I absolutely adore him, and will never let him be hurt again.

Sassy, looking very sweet (notice sparse fur on legs)
http://i162.photobucket.com/albums/t261/jenn_librarian/Sassysweet.jpg

http://i162.photobucket.com/albums/t261/jenn_librarian/sassysleepy.jpg
http://i162.photobucket.com/albums/t261/jenn_librarian/Sassyserene.jpg
http://i162.photobucket.com/albums/t261/jenn_librarian/sleepysassy.jpg

And here's Handsome Woody... He's so gorgeous! I wish he'd get adopted!!!
http://i162.photobucket.com/albums/t261/jenn_librarian/Woodyserious.jpg
http://i162.photobucket.com/albums/t261/jenn_librarian/Woodyandfeathers.jpg
http://i162.photobucket.com/albums/t261/jenn_librarian/woodyinplaygym.jpg

[Kalei]

AW they are all so cute. And I am so happy to know that you did get Alex and now Alex won't be hurt anymore. You are such a nice caring person to be doing everything you can to make sure Alex is safe and comfortable and I am so glad to hear it. Now Alex can have a long happy life and hopefully someday will grow out of his walking in circles, it is definately sad watching the poor kitty feel like he is only safe walking in circles, i'm guessing its because that's what he did in the shelter for years.

Thanks so much for helping this sweet kitty:)

[Medusa]

They're both so beautiful. And you are beautiful in spirit for giving them such love. When I first got her, my Creamsicle behaved just the way Sassy does; she'd cry out and wander around aimlessly looking for me. I know it isn't just because she has no peripheral vision; she's also deaf. Creamsicle can feel vibrations, of course, so if she's upstairs crying for me and I'm downstairs, rather than run up there, I'll slap my hand hard on the stairs and she'll feel it and run to the top of the stairs and see me and then run down to me. Are you sure Sassy can hear?

Blessings,
Mary

[jennielynn1970]

It's Alex with the vision problem (Sassy just has anxiety issues... they are both black and look a lot alike though, lol).

I'm pretty sure Alex has hearing problems as well. I do the banging on the floor and stuff to get his attention to come my way as well. Like when he goes into the one carrier, can't figure a way out, howls, and I'll rap on the floor in front of the carrier and normally he'll figure out to turn around and come out. A few times today he just laid back on my chest and shoulder and heaved a sigh and relaxed. I'm sure this is just exhausting for him. When he cries, just like a normal cry, it sounds almost like a baby... but when he gets distressed, wow... it's like a loud wailing baby. I want to see how much surgery for cataracts would be. I hate for him to be so distressed.

[critters]

Poor guy--it's a shame he was cooped up in such a small place he learned to circle. :( So sad.

I don't know that a 1-level place is necessary for him, although stairs having a "side rail" or being rather enclosed might be (given his history of falling, open stairs might not be a good idea. Mine have about 6 inches of a kitty-sized wall down the open side). Spunk, my blind punk, does stairs beautifully, and, since the stairs won't move, once he learns them he'll be set.

If he has light/dark vision, you might be able to set up a communication system with light flicks; otherwise, I'd continue the thump system you've already started. I suspect he'll be a lot better soon; the shelter seems like such a sensory- and exercise-deprived place given his disabilities.

I've found with more severely disabled (and/or more traumatized--Alex fits both) ones that once you "fill the love bucket" they usually become less clingy, more independent, and they usually go on to do normal kitty stuff.

[Medusa]

Sorry for the confusion. I must have been having a blonde moment. The crying part sounds exactly like Creamsicle. If she cries when I'm on the phone w/someone who doesn't know her, they'll say "Go take care of your baby." And when she gets panicky, good grief! She wails at the top of her lungs. When I first got her, she would turn around while she was eating (after the head movements calmed down) just to make sure I was there. So I'd sit right beside her so she could eat in peace, sweet girl. Anyhow...good luck and bless, bless and bless you.

Blessings,
Mary

[jennielynn1970]

Sorry for the confusion. I must have been having a blonde moment. The crying part sounds exactly like Creamsicle. If she cries when I'm on the phone w/someone who doesn't know her, they'll say "Go take care of your baby." And when she gets panicky, good grief! She wails at the top of her lungs. When I first got her, she would turn around while she was eating (after the head movements calmed down) just to make sure I was there. So I'd sit right beside her so she could eat in peace, sweet girl. Anyhow...good luck and bless, bless and bless you.

Blessings,
Mary

Oh the wailing sounds this boy makes!! It's enough to wake the dead!

He does do the turning around while eating, and his balance definitely seems off at times. What I've been doing is putting him right next to my body when I'm seated on the floor, putting a plate of wet food there for him (I've been putting some immune support and Wellactin in it once a day, just to give him a boost), and then I have my arm over him as he's eating. It doesn't have to touch him, but I think it gives him added stability. He sways a bit when he's just standing on his own eating the wet food. He's still knocking over the dry food bowls, so I'm going to change them to some of my low and wide baking dishes that I don't use. They're not big enough for me to bake in for groups, so I have been keeping them for water bowls for the guys upstairs. I'm also going to look at one of those elevated food and water bowls at PetSmart today as well. Not sure if that is needed, but want to check them out. He also likes the treats I got there that are supposed to calm him down. I had them for Frankie, and since they're both together, I've been using them with both boys. Not sure if the calming works but they like the flavor. I'm just hoping that there's nothing more neurologically wrong with him from the fall at this point as well. :confused:

[Medusa]

I hope not, too. It'll probably take a while before you get a routine going w/him but I have no doubt that you'll be able to. There's no limit to what love can do.

Blessings,
Mary

[jennielynn1970]

Well, I took Alex to a very well respected vet today that is at a "referral" center. From 8pm to 8am it's an ER and during the day it's a referral center. They cost a fortune, but have specialists there who are wonderful. He had some great insight about Alex, although I was hoping for something a little positive, but didn't get that at all. :(

What Dr. Ron concluded is that Alex has a tumor that started in his sinuses and has started eating away (his words) into his brain. He showed me how if it would be a brain injury from a fall, since the bump is on the right side of his head, his motor skills would be affected on the left side of the body. Unfortunately, his right side is majorly affected. He picked up Alex, and holding him in front of the exam table, moved him toward it. Now, the legs on the left side lifted up slightly. The right side, not at all. They just basically stayed limp. He said that the circling counterclockwise is another symptom of the damage to that side as well.

He doesn't recommend chemo, radiation or even surgery. He said that the chemo and radiation for the brain tumor wouldn't help his quality of life, and that if he tried to remove the tumor, Alex more than likely, wouldn't make it off the operating table.

He didn't say whether Alex is in pain. I wonder that. He is comforted when I hold him, and I could do that 24hrs a day if I was able to. Unfortunately, since I work all day, I can't do that. I even emailed some of the volunteers in our shelter to see if anyone was home, like retired, during the day, because he really needs more one on one care. So far, no bites :( :(

Alex is still at the vet. Dr. Ron wants to do some xrays and other things just to verify his diagnosis. I didn't want to leave him there overnight, because he's going to be so alone, but I can't be at home tomorrow to take him back to the vet. Darn job! We had off today because of snow, so that was a break for me, and I was glad to be able to stay with Alex. I just wish it would get really bad overnight and we'd have off again, but I'm sure that's not going to happen.

Keep Alex in your thoughts and prayers please. He's a sweet sweet boy who so does not deserve this. I'll figure out how to care for him, even if it means I take him to work with me (the principal can kiss my butt if he doesn't like it). I won't have him suffer and die alone.

Thanks for listening...

[Catty1]

Awww...Jenn...

Please PM Craftlady. I don't know how close you live to her...but her Thumper had an inoperable brain tumour also. Though I have no first-hand experience with it myself, Thumper's tumour is now "mushy"...after a couple of months.

Prayers for Alex...love that boy all you can...

And check with Craftlady....can't hurt. Maybe her Reiki person can do 'long-distance' with Alex, as she has had to do with Thumper because of bad weather.

{{{hugs}}}

[Medusa]

This is just the worst news. I'm so sorry about this. You're so right about not letting him be alone. He needs you. Lots of prayers and healing going out to Alex (and you) tonight.

Blessings,
Mary

[Lizzie]

Oh, Jenn, what heartbreaking news! Tears are pouring down my face and dripping onto Cattulus as I write. Does he also have cataracts or does his blindness have something to do with the tumor also? Perhaps both. The deafness, I assume, has something to do with the cancer? I remember caring for a baby with a head injury (she had been abused) and how distressing it was to hear her constant high pitched crying. At least holding Alex does comfort him and he knows you are there. I hope someone else can help with caring for him. If I lived closer and didn't also have a job, I'd volunteer like a shot. I adore black cats and he looks like such a sweetheart. Cats, as you know, cope with pain better than humans so as long as he is eating and enjoying your company he is still enjoying his life. You must have so wanted to make up to him for what he's been through so far, you are just going to have to squeeze in some extra-special care and adoration into a shorter time than you expected.

Can we send you any little luxuries that he would enjoy? A "Tiger Dreams" blanket? A buttercup bed? Special food? How is his sense of smell?

Keep posting, please, even though it will be hard for you to write and hard for us to read.

[krazyaboutkatz]

Jenn, I'm so sorry to hear this.:( I sure hope that you'll be able to keep him comfortable and care for him. He'll continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

[momtomany]

Jenn
So so sorry and will keep you both in my prayers. I wish I wasn't so far away and could figure out a way to help. Hugs to you both.

[Freedom]

Dear Alex, saying some prayers for you, fella!

[jennielynn1970]

I picked Alex up from the vet tonight. Dr. Ron is recommending euthanizing him. He said because of the quality of life he has (or the lack thereof), he doesn't think keeping Alex alive is helping him at all. He's paralyzed on the right side of his body, partially paralyzed on the left, blind, deaf and has the brain tumor. Sigh.... It's just so sad. This poor boy does not deserve this, but then again, no animal deserves to suffer.

I called the woman who runs our shelter, and she told me she'll leave it up to me to decide when the time is right. I really hate being the one in control of the decision, but I don't want to rush it either. I'm going to spend some quality time with him, and if I see he is suffering or in pain, then I'll make sure he gets to my own vet and he'll cross the bridge then. I just don't think the time is right now, but then, how do you know when the time is right??? :( :( :(

[jennielynn1970]

Oh, Jenn, what heartbreaking news! Tears are pouring down my face and dripping onto Cattulus as I write. Does he also have cataracts or does his blindness have something to do with the tumor also? Perhaps both. The deafness, I assume, has something to do with the cancer? I remember caring for a baby with a head injury (she had been abused) and how distressing it was to hear her constant high pitched crying. At least holding Alex does comfort him and he knows you are there. I hope someone else can help with caring for him. If I lived closer and didn't also have a job, I'd volunteer like a shot. I adore black cats and he looks like such a sweetheart. Cats, as you know, cope with pain better than humans so as long as he is eating and enjoying your company he is still enjoying his life. You must have so wanted to make up to him for what he's been through so far, you are just going to have to squeeze in some extra-special care and adoration into a shorter time than you expected.

Can we send you any little luxuries that he would enjoy? A "Tiger Dreams" blanket? A buttercup bed? Special food? How is his sense of smell?

Keep posting, please, even though it will be hard for you to write and hard for us to read.

Alex is a sweetheart, and I too love black cats... his personality was always great, and he just loved attention. He's really not himself at this point, which is sad, because at least now he's in a home. His sense of smell is actually really good, and he still scarfs down his fancy feast. He's lost about a 1lb. since a week and a half ago. Vet said because of the cancer he's not metabolizing properly. He just seems to want to be comfortable, and sleeps in a carrier with a lot of blankets in it. Either that, or he sleeps on me.

[Catty1]

Oh, Jenn...I didn't realize Alex was so far gone...thank goodness he is knowing love from you...

I wish they could use a bit of prednisone to take the swelling down...I wish there was something they could do for this poor boy.

A long shot...talk to Craftlady, and see if her Reiki gal thinks there is any point. Even for pain.

Please hug that beautiful boy for me! and kisses too!

[jenluckenbach]

Jennie, it may sound cliche', but you WILL know when the time is right. :( I too think I would give him a chance to know love (even if only for a weekend). But if you already think he is "not himself" I would not postpone the inevitable too long. I don't know about you folk, but I truly believe an animal can feel emotional pain (like not knowing why he feels badly, not being able to do what he used to do, etc)

I think I feel the need t go hug a few kitties. :( :(

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

[DrKym]

I am so sorry.

Our thoughts and prayers for you and Alex.

[jennielynn1970]

I truly believe an animal can feel emotional pain (like not knowing why he feels badly, not being able to do what he used to do, etc)

I think I feel the need t go hug a few kitties. :( :(

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

That's what worries me most. He must be so scared and wondering what is going on. :( I hate to even leave him alone for any length of time. Frankie seems to be glad that his buddy is back. He came right out of his little sleeping area and rubbed all over him (and Alex fell over). Atleast he can know the comfort of another animal.

[AbbyMom]

I'm so sorry to hear about Alex. But I'm glad that now he has human and cat love to know and soak up while he can.

Give him and hug and a kiss from me. Prayers on the way.

[Catty1]

I would think Frankie would be around him if you have to be out of the house.

I would love for PT prayers to work for Alex.


{{{{hugs}}}}

[emilysgk]

This is so sad to hear. But at least whatever time he may have, is now being spent with lots of love, both human and cat companions. You will know in your heart when its time to let him go. If you dont think that time has come, then keep loving him until it does.

[Medusa]

This is the most heartbreaking story I have ever read. I can't even imagine how you must feel. But if Alex isn't himself, as you say, then the time is drawing very near when you must do the last act of kindness for him. He has felt and is feeling your love and warmth and the companionship of this fur buddies. But it's heart wrenching to think that he's scared and wondering why he feels the way he does. I wish I could do something to help you. I have been sending healing energy and lots of prayers for you both. Please feel free to PM me if you think of anything that I can do for either or both of you.

Blessings,
Mary

[jennielynn1970]

Alex seems more vocal today. Not sure why. He also didn't want to be held. He kept squirming and would get down and wander in his circles and howl. I don't know if this is worse or not really. He did seem to have some issues while eating, unless it was just that he was having a furball problem. Sigh. I've gotten him cans of Sheba, figuring that if these are his last days, at least he'll be eating better food than I am. Those new little cans of Sheba seem to be pure chicken, prawns, you name it. Alex definitely enjoys them!

[jennielynn1970]

After much thought this weekend, and a heavy heart, I will be taking Alex to Walbert Animal Hospital to cross the bridge tonight. I feel he is suffering, and I don't want to put him through more, and he deserves to be shown some mercy at this point. He's so not himself. He's declined even more in weight. He's been just laying around and not moving most of the time, and the rest he just travels the perimeter of the room and howls. It's breaking my heart, but I can't stand to see him like this, just existing. Say a prayer for my dear boy.

[jenluckenbach]

{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}

You are without a doubt doing the correct thing for Alex, but that never makes it any easier on the humans left behind. :(

I am glad he had you to be there for him.

[Medusa]

It's never easy, to be sure, but you're doing what's best for Alex and that's what counts. It would be selfish to keep him only existing the way he is now. You'll be there to comfort him every step of the way and he'll love you for it as he has loved you for the kindness you've shown him. He'll be waiting for you at the RB as Gary would say, "one fine day". A candle burns for you both.

Blessings,
Mary

[Catty1]

Jenn, thank you and bless you for loving this dear dear boy. He won't be at all scared to go to the RB - because he already knows what an angel is like. :)

Prayers for you and Alex...it is the right time...and you know you have many shoulders here for you.

hugs

[jazzcat]

This is so sad. I'm so glad you were there for Alex for his last days so he would know love and comfort.

((((HUGS))))

[DrKym]

Jenn our prayers go to you and to this wonderful cat.

[kb2yjx]

At least you gave Alex some caring and love...you did a good thing helping him out...

[Donnaj4962]

LES here. I don't know how I missed this whole thread, but I am just seeing it tonight. What an ordeal Alex has been through, but how fortunate for sweet Alex to know love and compainionship in his final days. You are such a kind person to have done all that you have for him.

Godspeed to the RB little Alex. Once there, may you be whole again, and run and play and have no pain. May you see once again.

RIP little one, RIP.

[Taz_Zoee]

Poor little Alex will be able to run and play at the bridge, just like when he was a kitten. :)
You already know this....but you are doing (or did) the right thing. And I'm sure Alex thanks you for loving him so much these last days.

[AbbyMom]

Thank you for giving him love in his last days. Thank you for doing the right thing for him when it was time.

RIP Alex. Play hard at the bridge.

[jennielynn1970]

Today was just so hard. I came home from work as soon as I could. I wrapped Alex up and sat outside with him because it was so sunny and warm. We rocked on the porch swing, and he just closed his eyes and relaxed. He seemed so at peace and happy like that. I held him there for 2hrs. I came inside once it got cool and we rested on the sofa together. Even driving to the vet was peaceful.

Once we got there it was a little more tense. I think he could smell that we were someplace that wasn't a good thing. I was sitting there crying off and on. Our appt. was for 7pm, but the vet was running late, and we didn't get in to a room until almost 8pm. He was having small seizures (I thought he had been but wasn't certain), and he got really upset when the vet injected the first medicine. I was so upset seeing him upset. I was kneeling down, blowing in his face, and telling him I loved him. He just looked so scared. I felt like I was betraying him. Letting go of him and he was alone. My heart is breaking. I hope he forgives me for letting him go and giving up. I just couldn't handle seeing him in pain and suffering. If I could have held him forever, until he was ready to go, I would have.

I'm so sorry Alex. I love you. I hope you are feeling better now, and are playing with the other kitties from the shelter who crossed before you. I miss you terribly. I will be with you again my brave boy. I love you sweetie. Play hard at the bridge honey till I see you again.

[kimlovescats]

LES ... I'm so, so, sorry!!! :(

[dukedogsmom]

LES here at work. I'm so very sorry. I know the feeling of guilt, too. It must be a normal emotion that we suffer. It is so very hard even though you know you're doing the right thing. Alex knew you loved him so much. That two hours in the sun was such a gift to him. And now, he can see all the other animals and the beautiful green grass at the RB. We all will meet up again, you know?

[Cinder & Smoke]

:(



BLESS you, Jen ~

For having the strength and courage to show Alex the true Love you had for him.

He'll always remember you were there with him as he Crossed over the Bridge.

{{{Hugs}}}

/s/ :( Phred

[Queen of Poop]

Thank you for releasing Alex to the Bridge. No more pain, no more feeling lost. Thank you for showing him the LOVE that he so richly deserved. If he had to leave at least he knew he was LOVED. Hugs for you, I know how hard it is.

[Catty1]

LES

Jenn...{{{{hugs}}}}

I am sorry he got upset...that makes it feel so much worse...but you know he was starting to hurt, and now no more pain. Peace for Alex.

I wish I could reach through the computer and hug you!

[krazyaboutkatz]

Jenn,I'm sorry to hear about Alex's passing.:( I know it was a very hard thing to do but you did the right thing. You gave him love and a nice home before his journey to the bridge and now he's running and playing and free from pain. RIP sweet Alex.:( Please take care Jenn. (((HUGS)))

[sasvermont]

RIP sweet Alex.

You did the right thing Jenn, he will appreciate your thoughtfulness. He is no longer in pain.

Sas

[Freedom]

This is always such a difficult time and making this decision is never an easy one. You truly gave him a wonderful life and helped him when he needed you most. That is waht counts. RIP Alex.

[Medusa]

I thought it was heartwrenching to read your earlier post but this one is even more difficult to read. I can only imagine how you must have felt during this entire ordeal. But you did NOT give up. You stayed the course. It was absolutely the best thing for Alex. That cat was miserable. Yes, he had his peaceful moments, thanx to you but you couldn't be w/him 24/7. I know you would've liked to have been but you couldn't. Now he can see and hear and play and he's seizure free, pain free and loving his life as one of God's creatures should and was meant to. You not only didn't give up. You gave him a good and better life, this side of the veil and beyond. The candles are still burning for you both.

[momtomany]

Jen
Alex was blessed to be loved by you. As sad as your heart is, please know that you did the right thing and Alex is happy and playing with all our babies there at Rainbow Bridge. You will be reunited with one day.

[smokey the elder]

Poor Alex. He'll be at the Rainbow Bridge, knowing he was much loved.

[Kirsten]

This is heartbreaking. I know you did the right thing, but it's still heartbreaking.

Alex has experienced some love in the end, and this is what he carries with him on his trip to the Bridge...

R.I.P. Alex


Kirsten

[catmandu]

The Pet Angels Have Given Alex His Wings And Have Told Him What You Have Done For Him.
He Doesnt Want You To Cry, Hes In Paradise Now With Lots Of Friends.he Can See And Is A Big Healthy Cat!
Hes Going To His First Luau Tonight On Molokai.
And Hes Your Cat Angel Now Jenn, And You Will Go To A Luau Together When You Meet Again.
One Fine Day.

[CultureJunky]

I'm so sorry to hear that Alex has gone to the bridge, but you know what, he found an angel in your, a person who was willing to take care of him, and give him love that he obviously had never had before. He'll never forget you, and you'll never forget him, and I'm sure now he's got his sight back while he's up in heaven he's finally happy to see the face of the person who loved him, even if it was only for a little while.
God Speed, little Alex xxxxxxxxxx

[Logan]

Jenn, I am so sorry about Alex. I missed this whole thread, but I have now read every word and have lived this horrible situation with you.

Thank you for sharing the sunshine with Alex. That warmed my heart.

You are in my thoughts.

Logan

[kt_luvs_kitties]

LES here too :( I am so sorry Jen. This is heartbreaking.
I am sorry I missed this. If you need anything, please pm me.

RIP little Alex, I am so glad you got to know true love on earth. Play with Chance boy for me. He will be your buddy. :(