Ying is gone

[doolittleky]

This morning my alarm went off at 10 and I heard this terrible meow and I jumped out of bed because I knew what that kind of meow meant. It meant Ying was having diabetic seizures. I found him all straightened out in a coma and he was howling. I threw some clothes on and rushed him to the vet. They took him in the back and the nurse came in a little later and told me a doctor would be in to talk to me. He came in and told me Ying had passed and I said no no please make him come back etc. Even though I knew these things are bad I never expected for him to die. I was hysterical and was in shock and couldn't believe what he was saying, I kept saying I want to see him i want to see him bring him to me. he left and I saw one of the other vets that had treated him before when this happened and I was crying and she came in and talked to me. It is all my fault and i willl never forgive mysef for not getting him to the vet ooner. The other day he wasn't acting himself and last night he really wasn't acting himself and I didn't take him. I was planning on taking him and the other diabetcis on Friday. But I jsut wasn't thinking and I should have seen he needed to go then and not wait. If I had taken I had taken himthen he would still be alive. Poor Yang doen't have his brother because of me. I told my vet that I had to show Yang Ying so he would know what happened so she told mew to take him home and let him see him and the others too. I cried so hard. Yang went up to him and kept smeeling him and then started licking his ear and pawing at him. Gracie my dog who is Ying's good friend went up and smelled him. I jsut can't stand this. I want Ying back!!!!! I want him alive and I am very angry at myself and God right now. I laid down on the couch with ying in my lap like we do evry day and night and Gracie and the other end of the couch and Yang on the top of the couch over my head. I laid there in the dark telling Ying how sorry I was that I didn't help him and told Yang I was sorry. Ying kept licking him, it was so sad to see Yang clean Ying's face because usually it is Ying that cleans Yang. I don't know how I am going to be able to handle this. It isn't the same with one and not the otheer... I took him back to the vet tonight so he can be =cremated and I was planning on dropping the other three off tomorrow but the nurse came out and siad that my vet siad that until I get a zero balance that I can't take any there.. My bill is at 743.00 right now because of all that has happened in the last year with now 4 off my babies dying. I don't know what I am going to do, I really need to take them but I can't. The only thing I can think of is putting the fish bed in the marketplace the ones I was going to rent a booth for at the cat show in dec and see if anyone one buys them. I don't know what else to do. Even if I get a second job it wil be time before I get paid. Honestly if I didn't have the others to take care of I think I would jsut lay down and die. Ying is dead because of me and I want him back so much I jsut can't stand it.

[kt_luvs_kitties]

Melissa, You know that it is not your fault. God had plans for Ying, and as terrible, sad and hurtful it might be, Nothing you could have done would have saved him.
I know that Ying and Yang were so close, and that is terrible. But atleast Yang knows that his brother is waiting at the Bridge to show him around, when his time comes.
And Ying knows that you love him, that his furfamily love him as well. I hope that you find comfort in knowing that Ying died with something very special, A meowmie that would have laid down and died, just for him. *HUGS* Melissa, call me later tonight if you can.

Rip sweet meowy boy Ying. I will miss hearing you cry for your meowmie to "scratch your head" and pay you attention when she was busy yapping with me. I will miss hearing stories of what you and Yang are doing to get meowmies attention. I will miss asking your meowmie "Is that Ying or Yang crying". Most of the time, it was Ying. "Man, they are LOUD" was usually my comment. I really will miss you sweet boy. :(

[Freedom]

I am so sad reading what happened to you and Ying.

Diabetes is a VERY difficult disease and you can't feel that you let him down because he passed. You were loving and caring and getting him to the vet and giving him the food and meds and attention he needed. It is a very demanding disease, and it is unfortunately unpredictable at times. I think you did a LOT for this special kitty, and I truly believe that he knows that.

RIP dear Ying.

[Marigold2]

Oh I am so sorry for your loss. Ling is not in pain, not suffering, he is on the Rainbow Bridge. We the ones who are left behind suffer. But please know that you gave Ying the happiest life possible. That is all we can ask. Happiness is not measured in years, but in love. And Ying was so loved.

[Reachoutrescue]

Oh, god Mellissa. I am soooo sooooo sorry. It is so NOT your fault. I wish I knew the right things to say to you. All I can do is tell you that Ying is looking down on you and loves you dearly. You will meet again someday. Love them while you have them, that is all you can do. Please don't be so hard on yourself. We are here for you, remember that.

Take it easy.

[kimlovescats]

I'm very sorry about Ying. May he rest in peace. Please don't be mad at God ... He is the one who gave you Ming to love in the first place. ;)

[krazyaboutkatz]

Melissa, I'm so sorry to hear that Ying has passed away.:( Like others have already said, it's not your fault. He knows that he was loved and well taken care of by you and you'll meet again some day. Now he's healthy and young again and playing up at Rainbow Bridge. RIP sweet Ying.:( Please take care Melissa.(((HUGS)))

[Lizzie]

Melissa - what a terrible shock this must be to you, I'm so very sorry. I can imagine the panic you felt when you realized what was happening and the disbelief that it was over so fast. I hope you can take comfort in realizing that he had the best life possible with you. Keep the others close and let them console you.

[CultureJunky]

Melissa, I am so sorry to hear of your sad news. But please do not blame yourself, you gave him the best life, a loved and cared for one. And you cannot think that you had anything to do with him passing on. It is one of those mysteries of life, the things that make you wonder, what could I have done, could I have done more?
But it's only natural you will blame yourself because of the grief you are feeling at losing a beloved cat.
It will pass, and you will see you did all you could for Ying.
He is now at the rainbow bridge with all the other cats, and he will make sure you get the message that he does not blame you,and that he loves you.

Hugs from myself and Jack & Sunny x

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

Awwwww..... I can feel your pain.... :( .I am so sorry for your loss!!

http://users.pandora.be/bernardgabriels/images/smilies1010poesinhetraam.gif

Please, PLEASE, don't blame yourself. I did this too though when my Sydney passed away while I was on vacation, having fun... :( . But it is so true what the others say: you are not to blame! Ying passed to the bridge because he was called to go there, to be painfree :)
Hugs to you and little Yang http://users.pandora.be/bernardgabriels/images/smilies%20973%20Huge_hug.gif

[Anikaca77]

Melissa,

I'm so sorry. My prays are with you.

[catlover4ever]

Melissa I am so very sorry to hear about Ying. It is so hard when their passing is so sudden. I know what you mean by being upset and wondering why it had to be Ying, I know because I wondered that too when I found out so suddenly that my beloved Tigger was full of cancer. I wondered why her, why me, why now, why, why, why.....and there were no answers.

Please don't blame yourself....know that Ying is in a better place where he will never suffer a seizure again....he is playing with all his old friends and is making lots of new friends. I'm sure that my babies were there to greet him.


RIP Sweet Ying, you were loved more than you could ever know. :(

[catmandu]

You should not blame yourself , as Yings time sadly was up.
And to carry guilt around is the worst thing in the world, as that will not help.
Yings no longer in pain, and is with the Pet Angel Army touring all the Pet Talker Homes.
He will be by to see You, Your Cats and Yang.
Ying will be waiting for you in Pet Heaven , and does not want you to be sad as you will be together again
One Fine Day.

[smokey the elder]

I'm so sorry! You did the very best you could. Ying is healthy and happy and can eat anything he wants at the Rainbow Bridge, and no more shots!

{Hugs} to you.

[Cataholic]

Melissa,
I am so sorry to hear Ying is gone. It isn't your fault. Things happen, despite what we do or don't do. I am so sorry. Hugs to you.
Johanna

[momcat]

Words can't begin to tell you how very sorry I am to hear of Ying's passing. You are in no way to blame for this. Diabetes is a very tricky disease, no matter how well controlled it may be or how well a treatment plan is followed it can go crazy at any time for no apparent reason. I'm an insulin dependent diabetic and have experienced difficulty in spite of seeing my doctor and doing what I'm supposed to do.

Ying doesn't blame you, he knows you did everything you possibly could to keep him healthy and comfortable. Because of you, Ying knew unconditional love in a furever home where he was cared for and cared about. You gave him the life every kitty deserves.

Please don't blame yourself, it wasn't your fault. As hard as it might be, don't be mad at God. Ying was His very special gift to you to care for and love. Many [[[[[HUGS]]]]] to you as you deal with your loss. You are certainly in my prayers.

[rg_girlca]

Oh Melissa, I am so, so sorry to hear about your beloved Ying. I just couldn't read anymore of your post and it had me crying like a baby. It has taken me all this time to even write this.
I totally understand your guilt about not taking Ying sooner to the vets. I went through that with my C-Fer. I waited to long also. I think it is a case of denial by not wanting to know the outcome. BUT my vet said, even if I did bring him in sooner, there wasn't much they could have done for him. Now, whether he told me that to make ME feel better, I'll never know.
Just know that many of us know the guilt. Many of us have gone through the "What ifs." it will take longer than usual, but the guilt will ease off and the pain will lessen.
Please, don't make yourself sick over this. You're other babies need you also, especially Yang.
I wish I had a magic wand to make it all better for you, but I don't. All I can do is give you my heartfelt sympathies and virtual ((((((HUGS))))))

Rest in Peace dear Ying. Your meowmie loved you so much and you will always be in her heart.

[orangemm]

I am so sorry to hear about Ying; what a dreadful sad thing to happen.

Please remember he is happy at the Bridge.

(hugs)

[doolittleky]

Thank you all for your kind words. I wanted to show you a few picture of Ying and Yang. The first is one of my favorite pictures ever that I took. It is of Gracie my dog and Ying cuddling. They always loved each other so much and would clean each other.

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y137/JamaicaJim/Ying26Graciecuddling-1.jpg?t=1163881780

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y137/JamaicaJim/YinggivingGracieakiss.jpg?t=1163881899

here is one of Yang, Ying in the middle and Elvis

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y137/JamaicaJim/YingYangElvis-1.jpg?t=1163881920

[Lizzie]

Those are wonderful photos, Melissa. I was hoping you would post some. Ying was very beautiful. I have a special fondness for Siamese, the "old-style" ones and have always liked their demanding, talkative personalities. In that first photo, you can hardly tell where the dog ends and the cat begins and the bond between the two is very apparent.

I hope you are holding up okay. Going through old photographs can be very helpful. I know that I always make sure I have one in my car, one at work, one in the kitchen, etc.

[AbbyMom]

I'm so sorry about Ying. He was well loved.

The picture of him and Gracie is priceless.

[Karen]

Rest in peace, and play well at the Rainbow Bridge, Ying!

[jazzcat]

What a beautiful kitty.

I'm so sorry. Rest in Peace sweet Ying.

[heidiv]

I am so sorry for your loss it wasn't till today that I got to your post. I feel your pain and understand the loss that you are going through right now its never easy to lose a cat with a terminal illness but you have that time to spend with them and you make sure each and everyday that you love them. But when its so sudden you second guess everything you do. You were wonderful Meowmie and don't you let yourself take on all of the guilt of losing him. He looked liked a wonderful Meezer you can just see the love in that kitties eyes in each and every picture that you have posted I know that kitty was loved and he knew it also. Its so hard to go through this but the PT community will help you get through. That is why I love this site all of these wonderful people really helped me out. Its our time to help you through this really hard time. So tonight as I go to sleep I will say a little prayer for you and your wonderful little boy. Stay strong and STOP blaming yourself he wouldn't want that much burden place onto your shoulders. So Very Sorry for you loss.