My sweet gentle soul Scooty has died unexpectedly

[Scott]

I am so grief striken that it is hard to put into words. We all love our animals very much but every once in a while that SPECIAL animal comes into our lives - the one that connects with us on a different level, the magical ones like a soul mate - that was my Scooty. Whenever anything bad happened I could take her in my lap and all would be OK.

She was my very, very special kitty. She was my constant companion for 14 years and followed me everywhere. She was always by my side. And now she has unexpectedly gone.

She had Hyperthyroidisim and I elected to have her treated with radioactive iodine - she went through multiple tests and all looked great and she was given to OK to get the treatment. I drove her way up to Santa Cruz as there are only a few locations in California that do this procedure - it is a 3 hour drive each way and she had to stay at the hospital for a week - I picked her up this Monday and everything was great - I was told she was going to be fine as the treatment has no side effects and has a 95% cure rate. She needed to be isolated for a few weeks and I could only be with her for a half hour a day because she was still radioactive. So I would go in a pick her up and comfort her for 5 minutes every hour or so. My wife was visiting with me (we are separated) and we went in to pat her and keep her company and then we went to supper and when we came back in an hour she was lying in a pool of water and blood and was dead.

It was so shocking because I had told Scooty that all the tests and the procedures and driving had been worth it because she was going to be OK and she was going to have a great quality of life for the remainder of her years and then she died a few hours later. Completely unexpected and no one knows why - none of the doctors or specialists who saw her can give me an answer. I had to buy a cooler and ice to put her little body in because she can't be cremated for 3 months because of the procedure. I am left with my precious kitty lying in a cooler in my room while I wait for the vets office to send someone way down here from Santa Cruz.

I am devastated and I am lonely and I am so, so sad. My beautiful, sweet and gentle Scooty did not deserve this kind of ending.

She was an amazing cat - she was the light of my life and the calming force.

My heart aches.

I will always remember her - but I just don't have enough tears to cry for her.

I just don't have enough tears.

Rest in peace my dear sweet girl - I miss you so, so much. I love you and I will always love you.

[slick]

Scott:
First off I'd like to welcome you to Pet Talk. I'm so sorry that your first post has to be such a sad one. All of us here understand the pain that's felt when a furbaby makes the trip to the Bridge but under your circumstances, I can only imagine the confusion and heartache that lies within your soul.

I believe that Scooty must have been needed for a very special task at the Bridge for this to happen. She is now running around painfree and enjoying the warm sunshine and sweet grasses of the Rainbow Bridge. She has not left you....she watches over you for all eternity, until you meet again.

RIP sweet Scooty. You are, to say the least, a real beauty!

[Uabassoon]

Your post brought tears to my eyes. Even though I never met Scooty, your story and her photo are enough for me to know that she truly was a special cat. Scooty lived a wonderful 14 years with a wonderful owner who cared and loved her so much. Scotty will now wait for you at the rainbow bridge where she will look over you and hope that you don't worry too much because she is well now.

[rg_girlca]

Scott, I am so sorry that your first post had to be such a heartbreaking one. Your story brought tears to my eyes also, as I understand all too well about losing the one that connects with us on a different level.

Your Scooty was a beautiful girl. I pray and hope that you find comfort and peace in the fond memories you made together.

Rest in Peace dear Scooty, you were dearly loved and will never be forgotten.

[moosmom]

Scott,

I am so very sorry to hear about Scooty's passing. She was a beautiful girl! You are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Karen]

Scooty was a much-loved kitty, and just shines with beauty in her picture.

Rest in peace, pretty. pretty kitty, and Scott, know that you will see her again someday, happy and whole, at the Rainbow Bridge.

Until then, she will always be with you, curled up in a corner of your heart, purring to comfort you when most you need it.

[Scott]

I am so, so sad. I want to thank you for taking the time to reply to my post and offer your support - it is much appreciated and it really does help me at this period of overwhelming grief. I feel I gave her a thousand years worth of love in the short 14 years that I had her.

[Randi]

Although it's under sad circumstances ... welcome to PT.

Scooty was a beautiful girl and so loved. I hope you'll find comfort knowing that she had a wonderful life with you, and you did all you could for her.

Reat in peace sweet Scooty, you will always be remembered.

Hugs to you Scott.

[carole]

Scott your post also brought tears to my eyes, but what a beautiful tribute it was to Scooty,I know nothing will help the heartache you feel right now,but i hope we can comfort you some,just know we feel for you and understand completely the grief you are feeling, she was beautiful kitty, and she so reminds me of my Lil black girl Lexie.

Hugs to you, and I really am so sorry you lost your precious furbaby,especially so unexpectantly, that is always a big shock, take heart in knowing she will be at the RB with all the other kitties now, they will greet her with open paws and remember she will always live on in your heart and memories.

[Cataholic]

Scott, what an awful thing to have happen to Scooty. What a beauty she was. We here on PT understand exactly, sadly, what you are going through. May Scooty be forever looking down on you, until you meet again. Hugs to you at this most difficult time.

Cataholic

[Scott]

She was so sweet and gentle - I need to honor her life somehow. I'm just so sad . . .

[smokey the elder]

I'm so sorry about Scooty. Maybe there was something the vet didn't see. Poor kitty. She was gorgeous!

[catmandu]

We Are Sorry To Hear About Dear Scooty.
She Is Getting Her Wings At The Rainbow Bridge And There Will Be A Dinner For Her Today Where She Can Meet Her Fellow Companion Pet Angels.
Then She Will Join The Pet Angel Army On Thier World Tour And See All Different Contries.
She Will Make A Note Of All The Wonderful Places That You Will Share, When You Are Both Reunited In Love.
One Fine Day.

[Kirsten]

Scott, I'm so very sorry, reading your post brought tears to my eyes. You did what you thought was the best treatment for Scooty, and now things have turned out completely different, and no one can tell you why. That is hard to understand, and not easy to accept.

I know your pain and your sadness, I've been through the same when I lost my beloved soulmate Katz, also after 14 years. You said that you would like to honor her life somehow, and I really think that it may be a good way to cope with the loss. During the long grieving process following the months of Katz's passing, I started building a pet loss website in her name, and later, I dedicated a tribute page to my beloved girl. But everyone has to find out what works best for him in such a situation. Talking to others, who have experienced the same, helps a lot.

But it takes time, and the first weeks are the worst. It's like we're never going to smile again. But with the passing of time, you will find that you will remember all the great moments you shared, with a smile on your face, and with all the love for her in your heart...

Kirsten

[Donnaj4962]

Scott,

I am so sorry to hear of your dear little Scooter's passing. I am typing this through tears, flowing down my cheeks. It is so hard to lose someone that we love so much. I can understand your feelings. I have found that PT is the best place to chat with others about our pets/family members and the love that we have for them.

RIP sweet little beauty. Play hard at the RB. You will make fast friends with the many other PT kitties who are there. They will greet you, make you feel welcome, and show you the way.

God bless you Scott, and your sweet little Scooter.

[Lizzie]

Scott - I'm sitting here in floods of tears after reading your post. I understand the kind of pain you are in because I've lost a few very, very special cats too. But, most of all, I could imagine walking into Nougat's room a few weeks ago and finding her the way you found Scooter. It's a very chilling thought. She had the radioactive iodine treatment also, and I released her only a week ago from her isolation. It was so hard, being with her for such short periods, and I couldn't wait for the day when she could curl up over my neck at night again. You both went through this separation so that you would have years more with her, and instead she died suddenly and alone. I can imagine your anguish and I'm truly sorry for you.

Scooter was a very lucky cat to have you to adore her for years. I hope you have lots of photos. Put one in your car and dot them around the house. It hurts, but in some way it keeps her with you. If she had a special toy, put it in your pocket so you can carry it with you. No-one will know. You have found some release for your shock and grief in writing here, and perhaps writing about her will help you.

If you want to remember Scooter in a way that will help other cats whose owners are struggling to give them the medical care they need, you could donate to IMOM in her memory. Their web address is http://www.imom.org/

[Beauty17]

I don't usually go to Memorials, for some reason - but something drew me to open this one. I am so, so sorry for your loss, and after so much ordeal, followed by so much hope. I have a very special spot in my heart for blackies. You did what you thought was the very best for your cat, and you have nothing to scold yourself or doubt yourself for. Sometimes there are just mysteries in life - life itself, death itself - mysteries. I am so sorry, too, that you cannot achieve closure in respectfully disposing of her earthly remains, and that you have to wait. I understand your grief. I hope you don't add to it with any self blame. I care.

[emily_the_spoiled]

Scott, I am so sorry to read about Scotty. You can not blame yourself for anything. You did what you thought was best so the two of you would have many more years together. Unfortunately she was needed at the RB for something else. She will be waiting for you and looking over you for the rest of your life..

[Barbara]

Scott I am so sorry for Scooty's passing.
I think it is easier if you know the time is there- but going to think the treatment would help and then she dies.... I have tears in my eyes.
I hope one day you will be able to remember the 14 years you had each other without crying.

[Medusa]

Scooty was a cutie and she's now at peace and well and happy. A candle flame burns for her and you and prayers of love and sympathy are on their way from me and all the fur posse.

Blessings,
Mary

[Scott]

Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers - the kindness you have shown me has helped me get through this devastating experience. I think this has been especially hard for me because of the horrible turn of events and the fact that I live alone and do not have children . . . Scooty was my child and I loved her very, very much - she was always by my side. When I have healed a little I am going to write a song for her, publish it and donate all the proceeds to a shelter - in this way I can honor her life a little. Right now I need to stop beating myself up with the "what ifs" "what did I miss" and "could I have done something different". I also need to stop replaying that awful moment when I discovered her.

Thank you all once again.

[Daisy and Delilah]

(((((GENTLE HUGS SCOTT))))) Rest in peace beautiful Scooty. Play hard at the bridge sweetheart :(

[Medusa]

It's only natural to feel the way that you do right now. We've all been there, although the way you found Scooty was indeed unfortunate. But Scooty knew that she was loved by you. Always remember that.

Blessings,
Mary

[Logan]

I am so sorry, Scott. :(

[Scott]

and the pain is less intense. I didn't realize just how much I would miss Scooty because she was always by my side. I know I'll never fully get over losing her - we had a long and very close relationship - she was such a gentle force.

Something happened a few days ago and I was wondering if it has happened to anyone else. I'm not a religious person and I don't know if there is a hear-after but this experience has certainly given me pause as to what possibilities could be.

I was sitting at my table reading a bland article about the housing market - I wasn't thinking about Scooty at that moment. All of a sudden I got this strange sensation and the hairs on my arms and the back of my neck stood on end - I felt this energy starting to flow inside me and I got goosebumps all over - the energy was like electricity and I tingled everywhere. Now this all came out of nowhere - I didn't expect this at all.

Then the sensation became familiar and I knew it was Scooty who was with me. I even said "Scooty, is that you?" and the energy became even stronger surging through me. I know it was her - I think she wanted to let me know she was OK because it was that same gentle, calming energy I always felt from her when she was alive. It was just like holding her close in my arms. The other interesting part is that the feeling didn't just come and go but stayed strong for a full 10 minutes. Tears flowed down my cheeks and it made me both happy and sad at the same time.

After the energy dissipated I sat down and tried to rationalize what had happened - I tried to talk myself into it being a trick of my mind - my subconscious trying to placate me - neurotransmitters firing away causing these sensations - but at the end of all the over analyzing I knew what the truth was - and that is something that can't be explained away. Perhaps we do continue on in some form of energy after we die - I still don't know but I do know this experience has cast a whole new light on my thinking.

Thanks Scooty - I love and miss you.

[persianmom]

I'm sorry for your lost. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Kirsten]

Scott, this is a wonderful experience that you had! I'm not a religious person either, but I wouldn't rule out things like that. In fact, I believe that it may be possible.

I knew that after I lost Katz, there were one or two occasions when I thought she (= her energy) was around. Like you and Scooty, we had a very strong bond, and why should death be the end of it? There's a lot of comfort in that thought, isn't it?

Kirsten

[zoey]

I found this and thought I'd share.
It's a description of the Rainbow Bridge.
I'm sure most of you already know of it.
I didn't before, but knew, from people's descriptions of it, that it must be a special place in Heavan for animals and people. Anyway, I'm sorry if it's somewhere else on this site and I'm being redundant or something.
And Scott, I'm so sorry for your loss.
It's amazing how much love our babies can share with us.

Just this side of heaven is a place called the Rainbow Bridge. When an
animal dies who has been especially close to someone here, the pet goes to
Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all our special friends so
they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine,
and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill or old are restored to health and vigor;
those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we
remember them in our dreams of days gone by. The animals are happy and
content, except for one small thing: They each miss someone very special to
them who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day
comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes
are intent; his eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the
group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.


You have been spotted, and when your and your special friend finally meet,
you cling to each other in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The
happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress that beloved head
and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from
your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together

[catmandu]

Thats just Scootys way of telling you tht she still loves you, and will still be a part of your life Scott.
I have seen my Cat Angels on the Porch, and I know that they will be there for me, as Scooty will be for you when we meet again.
One Fine Day.

[mrspunkysmom]

I am so sorry for your loss. Scooty was well loved.

Anne

[Scott]

I'm so glad you have had an experience like that too Kirsten - it is a comforting notion to think that our quiet friends may still be with us in another form.

Thank you all for your replies. I'm very happy I found this little corner of the web. :)

[kb2yjx]

Scott, I sent you a pm(personal message). I hope you check it and reply. I am so sorry to read about Scooty!!! Sleep softly...

[bobtail]

Scott, I am saddened to read about your losing Scooty. I want you to know that your wonderful tribute is uplifting somebody. Your words are helping me to go through my losing my own Pauline just two weeks ago, which I posted about in this section of Cat of the Day. What you say about Scooty coming into your life and giving you so much warmth and friendship, a cat that is both pet and friend, speaks to me utterly. I know exactly what you mean about a special cat taking you to that extra level. We love all of our animals, but the sweetness and spark of some of them, just like people, is really something extraordinary. You have a listener, friend, and I am so thankful for your eloquence in your time of grief. I can tell that you had an incredible connection. If tears come, let them flow. Go as slow as you can and as you need, right now. You gave a great, great deal to Scooty and I am sure it was right for you two to have met and had so much time together. I am glad you had many years with Scooty, I believe all the happiness you received was a blessing on your life.