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Thread: Letters

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    187

    Letters

    Here are couple of letters I received by email from a fellow Lab lover, the letters seem long but fun. Barb




    Subject: Fw: Letter to Dogs
    >
    > Dear Dogs:
    >
    > When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with
    > each other so there are still two dogs in the way. The dishes with the paw
    > print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and
    contain
    > my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and
    food
    > does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find
    > that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
    >
    > The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating
    me
    > to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall
    > faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size
    bed.
    > I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the
    > couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs sleeping, they can
    > actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to
    > each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that
    > sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end
    to
    > maximize space used is nothing but doggy sarcasm. My compact discs are
    not
    > miniature Frisbees.
    >
    > For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
    some
    > miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
    > necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the
    > edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I
    > entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years, canine
    > attendance is not mandatory. The proper order is kiss me, then go smell
    the
    > other dogs butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple
    > change for you.
    >
    > Rules for non pet owners who visit and like to complain about our pets.
    >
    > 1. The dog lives here. You don't.
    >
    > 2. If you don't want dog hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
    >
    > 3. I like my dog a lot better than I like most people.
    >
    > 4. To you, she's a dog. To me, she's an adopted daughter who is
    > short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
    > 5. Dogs are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all
    > the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive
    > your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or
    > drink,
    > don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your
    clothes,
    > don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant,
    > you
    > can sell the pups.
    >
    > The same applies to cats, except they ignore you until you are asleep.
    >
    > Please pass this on to those who appreciate the humor (and truth).
    Attached Images Attached Images  

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    North East Ohio
    Posts
    11,760
    I laughing and nodded my head while reading the entire thing!!!

    Thanks!!!
    ~Angie, Sierra & Buddy
    **Don't breed or buy while shelter dogs die!**

    I suffer from multiple Shepherd syndrome



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2000
    Location
    Northeast
    Posts
    31,155
    That is too funny and so true! Sounds like the never ending conversation (make that monologue( at my house! And yes, I have a Lab

    Star,Tigg'r , Mollie and the10 Gallon Gang!

    And my Rainbow Bridge Furangels...Jingles, Cody, Fritz, Chessa, Satin, Buddy, Lizzie, Oliver, Squeaker, Moonbeam, Rosie, Ruby~

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