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Thread: Why did the chicken cross the road...

  1. #1
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    Why did the chicken cross the road...

    WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? (the latest version)

    GEORGE W. BUSH
    We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
    We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of
    the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us.
    There is no middle ground here.

    AL GORE
    I invented the chicken. I invented the road.
    Therefore, the chicken crossing the road
    represented the application of these two different
    functions of government in a new, reinvented way
    designed to bring greater services to the American people.

    COLIN POWELL
    Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the
    satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

    HANZ BLIX
    We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we
    have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

    MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq ambassador)
    The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete
    fabrication. We don't even have a chicken. Bismilla

    SADDAM HUSSEIN
    This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were
    quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

    RALPH NADER
    The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been
    polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach
    the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because I was
    crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

    PAT BUCHANAN
    To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

    RUSH LIMBAUGH
    I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was
    getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone
    out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
    Crossing-the-Road Syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of
    this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by
    their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your
    money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens
    to cross.

    JERRY FALWELL
    Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people
    see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going
    to the "other side." That's what they call it-the other side.
    Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken,
    you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we
    sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes
    with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

    DR. SEUSS
    Did the chicken cross the road?
    Did he cross it with a toad?
    Yes, The chicken crossed the road,
    But why it crossed, I've not been told!

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY
    To die. In the rain. Alone.

    MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
    I envision a world where all chickens will be free to
    cross roads without having their motives called into question.

    GRANDPA
    In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
    road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road,
    and that was good enough for us.

    BARBARA WALTERS
    Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be
    listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the
    heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of
    molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of
    crossing the road.

    JOHN LENNON
    Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

    ARISTOTLE
    It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    KARL MARX
    It was an historical inevitability.

    VOLTAIRE
    I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will
    defend to the death its right to do it.

    RONALD REAGAN
    What chicken?

    CAPTAIN KIRK
    To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

    FOX MULDER
    You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many
    more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

    SIGMUND FREUD
    The fact that you are at all concerned that the
    chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual
    insecurity.

    BILL GATES
    I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross
    roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
    balance your checkbook-and Internet Explorer is an
    inextricable part of eChicken.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN
    Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road
    move beneath the chicken?

    BILL CLINTON
    I did not cross the road with that chicken. What do
    you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

    COLONEL SANDERS
    I missed one?

  2. #2
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    those are great! I love the Dr. Seuss one hehe

  3. #3
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    Thanks, I needed this laugh. Very funny....
    I've Been Boo'd

    I've been Frosted






    Today is the oldest you've ever been, and the youngest you'll ever be again.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  4. #4
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    Equal opportunity piss-taking! No one is spared!!

  5. #5
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    Minnesota, United States
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    Re: Why did the chicken cross the road...

    Originally posted by Soledad
    BILL GATES
    I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross
    roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
    balance your checkbook-and Internet Explorer is an
    inextricable part of eChicken.
    OH OH OH!!! Ive seen this some where else it is the greatest, My fav is Bill Gates........THANKS for sharing..!!!!

  6. #6
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    Fun! my favorites were: Limbaugh, and Clinton, and... Fox Muldar (but that's a whole other thing....)
    -babolaypo


    Only that which is the other gives us fully unto ourselves.
    -Sri Yogananda

    It's important to have an end to journey toward but it's the journey that matters in the end.
    -Ursula Leguin

  7. #7
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    Edmonds, WA USA
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    those were great!!!!!!!
    Kedi, Wylie, Rudy, and the dog Scout!

  8. #8
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    I have a soft spot for the Jerry Falwell one. Hehehe...

  9. #9
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    The Falwell quote was funny Ha, Ha. The Hemingway quote
    was classic. So fitting.
    I've Been Boo'd

    I've been Frosted






    Today is the oldest you've ever been, and the youngest you'll ever be again.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  10. #10
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    happiness is a house full of cats
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    LOL

  11. #11
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    Lawrenceville, Ga, USA
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    Re: Why did the chicken cross the road...

    Originally posted by Soledad
    COLONEL SANDERS
    I missed one?
    I had a good laugh at that last one
    Scott is owned by 5 cats: Jackson, Fluffy, Twidgit, Ashton, Lexi;
    and 3 dogs: Eli, Sassee, Ginger

    Fuzzy317's Pictures

  12. #12
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    Just loved it!!


  13. #13
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    I love those. I have that one at home. I just laughed and laughed and laughed at them.


    Don't buy while shelter dogs die!!

  14. #14
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    LOL

  15. #15
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    catlandia
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    thank-you - those were very funny.

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