Dearest Charlie, what a gorgeous girl you are, the first Timneh African Gray I've ever met! You're so beautiful with all those grey feathers with touches of pink, that grey and pink beak, and those lovely big dark eyes. You have the most delightful personality, too! You love saying "Charlie's a good boy." Then your dear people found you're actually a girl, and you're a bit confused with them trying to get you to say "Charlie's a good girl" instead! You're very smart, always learning new things to say and figuring out puzzles or toys. You're the perfect size for your people! You're spoiled, but you're worth it. You and they all love each other very much, don't you. What a wonderful love-filled home you share!
Congratulations, darling Charlie, on being chosen Pet of the Day! We hope you and all your family and friends are enjoying a fine celebration, full of fun and lovies and all your favorite games and treats with a special serving of chicken and pizza!
I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
Death thought about it.
CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.
-- Terry Pratchett (1948—2015), Sourcery
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