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Thread: It's the season!!!!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2002

    It's the season!!!!

    For some of us?

    I love the holidays and all the hustle and bustle.....

    And the Holiday HORROR stories!

    I saw this commercial the other day...


    It reminded me of something I saw years ago on the way home from work

    I really shouldn't admit this, but I scha·den·freu·de ALL the time and this was especially memorable to me...

    It was close to Christmas and I was in one of those over-the-top merry moods. One thing I like to see are the cars on the road that are bringing trees home. I look at the occupants - bringing a tree home was a huge deal when I was a kid, it was an experience. So, I could imagine the thrill of getting that puppy home, set up and decorated.

    I pulled up to a stoplight and happened to notice a Jeep wagon at the service station across the intersection.

    There was a man standing at the rear of the car, with the tailgate up.

    What caught my attention is that he was moving in a weird way, like he was fighting with something.

    After a few seconds, I noticed he was adjusting the tree he had loaded, top first, into the rear baggage area.

    When he was done, he looked at the tree, then put both hands on the tailgate and pulled it down.


    As soon as the rear window hit the trunk of the tree, It EXPLODED into a million pieces. What a remember to this day was seeing just how far the tree stump stuck out the hole it had just made. He severely underestimated the clearance he so desperately sought?

    I had about 20 things run thru my head as I watched him stand there, hands at his side, wondering what went wrong.

    BUT, the one that made me laugh (yes, I know........what goes around.........) was this poor guy sitting on the couch looking at the tree for the rest of the holiday and thinking about the "what ifs"......

    What if the tree was cut shorter?
    What if I hadn't moved the tree?
    What if I had pushed the tree in farther?
    What if I hadn't slammed the tailgate?
    What if I had bought an artificial tree?

    Just for the record?

    Someone saw me jumping around the parking lot of the service station after I splashed gas into my face.

    I know they laughed?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Waltham, MA, USA
    The year before Paul and I were married, he lived in an apartment shared with four other guys. One of them, "JM" said, "I'll get the tree!" when Christmas approached. Full of spirit, enthusiasm and not much else, he went to the forest, and proudly came back with .... a pine tree. Not a fur, or a spruce, but a pine, with long, thin, bare branches with long fine needles at the end. The branches were so thin, they could not hold the weight of an ornament, unless you hung it right next to the trunk. It was pathetic. It was sad. It was a five-foot-tall version of the Charlie Brown Christmas tree, before Snoopy magically transformed it.

    Even, "JM"'s father, who came to visit, exclaimed, "What moron got the %#$*ing Charlie Brown Christmas tree?"

    His son at least had the grace to blush as he admitted responsibility.
    I've Been Frosted

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Here's another Christmas story that leaves me scratching my head...


    What do you do for a potty stop along the way?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    The local newspaper is offering 500 dollars for photos of children freaking out while they are on Santa's lap!
    The secret of life is nothing at all
    -faith hill

    Hey you, don't tell me there's no hope at all -
    Together we stand
    Divided we fall.

    I laugh, therefore? I am.

    No humans were hurt during the posting of this message.


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