The first one made me laugh a little. I'm 21 and when people at work make small talk with me one of the first questions is "Do you have any kids?"
I always reply "Yes, if you consider dogs and cats kids."

5. “I’d never spend that much on a dog, I’d sooner put him down.”
This is the only one from the list that I have actually heard.
A coworker of mine said this to me when Ethan was sick and it made me livid. I had to just walk away. I was stressed enough, I didn't want to say something I wanted to and end up losing my job.