You may be going about your day and doing just fine..then the grief will blindside you. Go with the emotions. Have a good cry. It will take awhile to get past the loss of your special friend. You will miss them forever but in time things do get better. It's a process..doesn't happen over night. It takes many nights. Do something special in memory of your family member. When I lost my Jack Russell(Jack) I bought a small head stone for $20. It's in my garden. We had him cremated so we have his ashes which is comforting. Make a donation to a local shelter in your pet's name. Plant a tree. When we take on the responsibility of a pet we take all of it...even the parts we don't like. However, that's the deal and the worst part of it. Having to make that final decision to euthanize. It's agony. I believe it comes down to quality of life. When that is compromised we do what we have to do b/c we love them so much. I'm so sorry for your loss....but you are not alone. I understand how you feel...I've been there twice. I suspect the people on Pet Talk have too. Your head knew what had to be done but your heart tells you something else. It's so difficult. Think of it as something you did for him and not to him. Take it one day at a time. Peanut10