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Thread: So stressed - can't pay rent *Update* A Little Good News About Health Issues*

  1. #1

    So stressed - can't pay rent *Update* A Little Good News About Health Issues*

    My husband just found out that his check at the end of this month is only going to be $308. My check at the end of the month is only ~$200 and we have to pay $580.00 in rent.

    I'm so depressed stressed and I want to eat bad bad food but I can't do that because that will make me sick.

    I don't know how we are going to live till April 15th.

    Would anyone like to buy some of my stuff? I have wizard of oz globes? I know we can be late on rent but the only thing is I can't really come up with his half on top of my half and I have a huge vet bill at our vets it's ~$1,220 left over from last year and some from this year. The worst part is his check is so small this time because he has CVS (cyclic vomiting syndrome) which means that he has an FMLA through work but they won't pay him for those days off and he's been sick a lot and they can't do anything really for him.

    If I list stuff up on ebay like cat books or something like that would anyone be interested in purchasing some?

    I just don't know what we are going to do or eat for that matter but as long as our cats have food that's what really matters.

    Melissa
    Last edited by Anikaca77; 03-31-2010 at 10:46 AM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
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    Delaware, USA - The First State/Diamond State - home of The Blue Hens
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    Do either of you have parents/relatives, that could help you out? You mentioned April 15th - are you getting a tax refund?? Perhaps you could borrow some bucks and then pay back if you're getting a refund. Maybe get some temporary assistance thru a church in your area??

    My LAST option would be to sell things. You get next to nothing for the items, and then you just can never get them back.

    Hoping things turn around soon for you. I've been in your shoes - it's no fun. Pardon this old saying, but "it's darkest before the dawn".
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Wolfy ~ Fuzzbutt #3
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    To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.
    Ecclesiastes 3:1
    The clock of life is wound but once and no man has the power
    To know just when the hands will stop - on what day, or what hour.
    Now is the only time you have, so live it with a will -
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    ~~~~true author unknown~~~~

  3. #3
    My husband's mom is no longer living and his dad and him broke ties off a long time ago so there is no one on his side to contact, my parents are very poor, they live paycheck to paycheck and my mom isn't work so she only gets a little bit of $$ and I can't take her $$.

    The reason why I said April 15th was because that's when we will both get paid again and hopefully his check will be higher but I'll only have $100 out of my check due to my car payment.

    I do have a brother and 1 sister but my brother just recently got a job and right now he's broke until he starts getting in a paycheck and my sister can't really afford to give me an extra cash because she is having surgery next month and she has to pay $500 for the operation and then she will have to cover her expenses for being off work for 2 weeks.

    I have jewerly that I can sell as well.

    Melissa


    I'm checking into some assistance places
    Quote Originally Posted by pomtzu View Post
    Do either of you have parents/relatives, that could help you out? You mentioned April 15th - are you getting a tax refund?? Perhaps you could borrow some bucks and then pay back if you're getting a refund. Maybe get some temporary assistance thru a church in your area??

    My LAST option would be to sell things. You get next to nothing for the items, and then you just can never get them back.

    Hoping things turn around soon for you. I've been in your shoes - it's no fun. Pardon this old saying, but "it's darkest before the dawn".

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Location
    Windham, Vermont, USA
    Posts
    39,961
    Sell unnecessary things, and look into a food pantry for food for you humans in the meantime. Food expenses matter, and this is what the pantries are there for, times like this. If you have any free time, maybe you can make some extra money doing chores - spring cleaning or yard work for others - it might not be a lot of money, but ask around ... some is better than nothin'!
    I've Been Frosted

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Bexhill, UK
    Posts
    8,815
    What is your landlord like? can you sort out something arrangement with them? Sometimes if you call the people you owe money to and explain the situation they will take less for the short term until you can get the payments back up.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Alberta, Canada
    Posts
    21,990
    Definitely look into assistance things. A friend of mine has a full time job in a national grocery chain, has $950 in rent - and has to use the food bank every 3 weeks, plus do some cleaning on weekends. She has to pay $100 child support (down from over $500).

    Rents are expensive and the economy is tough. There are lots of 'working poor' - I have been one of them for a lot of my working life. Apply for all the assistance you can!

    You might - MIGHT - think about which of your cats you might rehome...and ask your vet to keep an eye out for a good home. Heartbreaking - but they cost, too!
    "Do or do not. There is no try." -- Yoda

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    2,616
    You might - MIGHT - think about which of your cats you might rehome...and ask your vet to keep an eye out for a good home. Heartbreaking - but they cost, too!

    I doubt if this is an option for you. Your cats are better off with you than anywhere else (in my opinion). You will get by!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Santa Clara, CA
    Posts
    27,647
    I'm so sorry to hear this. I don't have any other suggestions but I'll keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. Things will get better.
    Owned by Sky, Pearl, Ziggy Stardust, Alani, Blaze, Colby, Finnegan, and Summer.


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  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    Location
    Copenhagen, Denmark - GMT+1
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    I don't know how it is over there, but I saw a programme on TV about young students who had formed a little group and went to several huge supermarkets after closing time, to see what they had thrown out in the back. It was amazing what they found... unopened groceries and greens and fruit that was just past last selling date. A lot of it looked fine. They even showed some dishes that was made from it. I know some find it gross, but just an idea. Hey, you'd have to be able to climb a fence probably.

    One other thing... I buy Fister's food from my vet because it's quality, and he offers that people can come back with a bag of dry food if the cat doesn't like it and get their money back. so he has lots of various food out in the back, he gives to unemployed people. I have got quite a few of those for free. Ask your vet if he does the same.
    Last edited by Randi; 03-23-2010 at 12:25 PM.



    "I don't know which weapons will be used in the third World war, but in the fourth, it will be sticks and stones" --- Albert Einstein.


  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Washington, DC USA
    Posts
    1,850
    I know this will not help right now, but now that the Health Insurance Bill was signed into law your husband will be able to get insurance now and they will be able to treat his medical problem. Because of the subsidies that are available you will likely be able to get very low premiums.

    Once he is better, then he will not have to take FMLA time...

  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by emily_the_spoiled View Post
    I know this will not help right now, but now that the Health Insurance Bill was signed into law your husband will be able to get insurance now and they will be able to treat his medical problem. Because of the subsidies that are available you will likely be able to get very low premiums.

    Once he is better, then he will not have to take FMLA time...
    Hi-

    Yes I saw that the bill was signed into law and my husband actually does have insurance and we are very lucky there. We went to see a doctor at the Cleveland Clinic last month but sadly he said there isn't too much to do. We don't know when it's going to hit or what.

    Here is some information on it incase anyone was curious. As some of you know my husband and I have been having a really rough time and I don't know if we are going to stay together or not, I hope so and we are trying to make it work but it's been a rather tough couple of months or so.



    What Is It?

    CVS is an unexplained disorder of children and adults that was first described by Dr. S. Gee in 1882. The condition is characterized by recurrent, prolonged attacks of severe nausea, vomiting, prostration with no apparent cause. In some there is severe abdominal pain. Vomiting occurs at frequent intervals for hours or days (1-4 most commonly). The episodes tend to be similar
    to each other in symptoms and duration and are self-limited with return of normal health between episodes.

    Occurrence

    CVS begins at any age. It can persist for months, years or decades. Episodes may recur several times a month or several times a year. Females are affected slightly more than males. The person may be prone to motion sickness, and there is often a family history of migraine. There is a high likelihood that children’s episodes will be replaced by migraine headaches during adolescence.

    Symptoms

    Episodes may begin at any time, but often start during the early morning hours. There is relentless nausea with repeated bouts of vomiting or retching. The person is pale, listless and resists talking. They often drool or spit and have an extreme thirst. They may experience intense abdominal pain and less often headache, low-grade fever and diarrhea. Prolonged vomiting may
    cause mild bleeding from irritation of the esophagus. One mother aptly described her child’s state during the episode as a “conscious coma”. The symptoms are frightening to the person and family and can be life-threatening if delayed treatment leads to dehydration.

    Diagnosis

    CVS has been difficult to diagnose because it is infrequently recognized and is often misdiagnosed as stomach flu or food poisoning. There are as yet no blood tests, x-rays or other specific procedures used to diagnose the disorder. The diagnosis is made by careful review of the patient’s history, physical examination and lab studies to rule out other diseases that may cause vomiting similar to CVS.

    Triggers

    Although some patients know of nothing that triggers attacks, many identify specific circumstances that seem to bring on their episodes. Colds, flus and other infections, intense excitement (birthdays, holidays, vacations), emotional stress and menstrual periods are the most frequently reported triggers. Specific foods or anesthetics may also play a role.

    Treatment

    Treatment is generally supportive with much importance placed on early intervention. A dark quiet environment is critical for sleep. Hospitalizations and IV fluid replacement may be necessary. Medication trials sometimes succeed in finding something to prevent, shorten or abort episodes. It is important to work with a physician who does his/her best to understand CVS and is supportive.

    Long-Term Treatment

    The foundation of long-term management involves a responsive collaborative doctor-patient-family relationship, sensitive to stresses caused by the illness and to triggers such as feelings and attitudes that may pre-dispose to attacks. Consistent, accessible physician care by a care coordinator who understands and communicates the nature of CVS,regardless of specialty, is vital to the family’s well-being. Connections with the Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome Association, a family and professional network, does a great deal toward healing a family that has been in doubt and despair for years.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Florida, USA
    Posts
    14,038
    I have been there before and I know what it's like. It's a desperate feeling. I agree with Ellie that selling things is not a great idea. You sell them for nothing and they are gone, never to get back again. Unless, you can temporarily pawn something. Not alot of money but might get a few bucks. If you have books, etc. that you don[t want, you may be able to get money on Ebay after all. I hear quilting books are a premium there so maybe your books are too. I wouldn't part with anything you value alot.

    What Karen said, try for some government help until you get on your feet. I think you can get food stamps if you qualify under certain conditions and don't have more than $6000 in assets. I think that's right. Talk to your local churches, Salvation Army. Are there soup kitchens in the area that you could get meals from?

    More than anything, try to negotiate with your landlord, like someone said. I used to pay my rent in halves and the landlord was good to let me stay.

    I wish you and your husband the best of luck.


    I've been Boo'd...
    Thanks Barry!

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Florida, USA
    Posts
    14,038
    Quote Originally Posted by Randi View Post
    I don't know how it is over there, but I saw a programme on TV about young students who had formed a little group and went to several huge supermarkets after closing time, to see what they had thrown out in the back. It was amazing what they found... unopened groceries and greens and fruit that was just past last selling date. A lot of it looked fine. They even showed some dishes that was made from it. I know some find it gross, but just an idea. Hey, you'd have to be able to climb a fence probably.

    One other thing... I buy Fister's food from my vet because it's quality, and he offers that people can come back with a bag of dry food if the cat doesn't like it and get their money back. so he has lots of various food out in the back, he gives to unemployed people. I have got quite a few of those for free. Ask your vet if he does the same.
    I think this is the program I saw on Dumpster Diving. It's done in large areas by people that are not necessarily in dire straits. Some of the people were fairly well off. It's supposedly a big thing in big cities. Some restaurants will throw out a dozen eggs if one of them is cracked due to health regulations. Some of the people were getting all they needed by doing this. The food they get is perfectly fine and no one reported getting sick at all. Not for everybody but it's a thought.


    I've been Boo'd...
    Thanks Barry!

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    Location
    Copenhagen, Denmark - GMT+1
    Posts
    15,948
    Dumpster Diving.... yes, that's probably what it's called. I'm too old and lazy for it, but young kids can really get a "good deal". The supermarket I like to shop in has a "last date" one day before other supermarkets, and some of the things they throw out are better than what certain ethnic green grocers sell - like bananas that are turning brown, or potatoes going soft etc.



    "I don't know which weapons will be used in the third World war, but in the fourth, it will be sticks and stones" --- Albert Einstein.


  15. #15
    Melissa, if you can, take the advice and look into food pantries. Many churches, if not all, provide them. If there are none available to you, try www.angelfoodministries.com. You can purchase a lot of food for a very small amount of money. I concur w/the others; selling your valuables isn't worth it. I've done it and I regret it. Plus I didn't make that much money anyhow. I do know that you have a problem w/back pain but if you can, cleaning houses for a living, even part time, will bring money in that day. At the end of the day, you have money in your hand and even though it may only be $50 or so, it makes you feel good to know that you can at least buy groceries and some cat food. You aren't waiting for payday to come around b/c every day that you clean a house is payday. If you can clean a couple of houses a week and on weekends, you can make a fairly decent living. I cleaned three houses a day, five days a week in the beginning to get as much money as I possibly could. You're much younger than I, so I know you can do it if you can control your pain. Good luck, Melissa. I know all too well how rough it is.
    Blessings,
    Mary



    "Time and unforeseen occurrence befall us all." Ecclesiastes 9:11

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