I'd like to submit a petition to the Federal Government of the United States:

That the Federal Government add another Holiday to the calendar, said holiday to be a floating holiday falling on the third Monday of the Month of March, and that a similar holiday be proclaimed falling on the second Monday of the month of August.

That these Holidays be officially named "Excuse to sell stuff in (fill in the respective month) Day"

Federal Employees get the day off, with no mail delivery, giving people yet another reason to carp about all the benefits Federal employees get.

Due to the nature of the Holiday, Banks would, of course, have to remain open, as would retail establishments.