After typing, and retyping, and retyping..

I think it's the racing mind and the sleep deprivation, and slight depression.. but anyway, we (my family) will be taking our cat Bear to the Vet at 11:30 AM to be put to rest. He has an invasive cancerous tumor of the lower jaw, left side, and has been causing him troubles with eating, and seems to constantly goop blood - just not at a rapid/fatal rate. We were offered the "opportunity" to put him to sleep the day we came in, thinking it was just a gum disease (not having really felt his jaw to check for a tumor), but being as my mother and I were the only ones there and at how hard it hit us.. we figured it'd be better if we took him home for the rest of the week.

Well, now the rest of the week has past - we're all out of Fancy Feast, and it seems Sylvester will be our sole housecat starting 11:30 AM.. which makes me feel even worse, because the two are like brothers - not literally, but he'll miss him just as much as we will..

I love you Bear, we all do.. I'm sorry you couldn't of lived longer, healthily.. I really feel silly now saying you'd live to be 25, or maybe even older.. but like your true owner says (my brother).. you had a good run. I hope you have a wonderful rest.. We will always miss and love you.

Some pictures, taken by my younger sister back in about June maybe..

We have much better photos lying around.. hehe, as you see he's actually quite lazy. >_>

This is the first time I've lost a cat, or any animal.. or any being that's close to me. I lost a Dog long ago, but circumstances were much different.. this, this was just a complete surprise - and shattered what was left of my naivety. (I'm 19, so I'm sure this won't be the first pet I'll lose down the long road..)

We're all going to the Vet I'm sure, but my mother will be the one who accompanies him to be put to sleep.

It's going to be quite different around here for awhile.. no more seeing our fat buddy laying around in the most random corners, baskets, blankets.. no more hearing his roaring purr everytime you barely hovered over him with your hand. Been around since I was 5.. since he was born, never did I once think he'd die - not like this. (Not because of some damn tumor..)

PS - Sorry for those who read and get thrown off by anything in the post.. it's 3 AM Central, and so I could have some poor grammar or.. just.. stupid writing.. Thank you to anyone who cares to read though.