Runner's scared of my husband

[ashleycat]

I have no idea why. Maybe she was abused by men in the past? or maybe a black man? She has no problem comming up to me or my daughter. But when he gets near her, her tail goes between the legs and her head down. Sometimes she even walks away from him.

She MUST have been abused. Maybe that's why she acts sooo old, she's only 3 years. Charlie is 4, and he was soooo active.

[sabies]

I hope she can get over her fear. She just has to unlearn the idea that she is going to be abused, if that is what her past experience taught her. I think your husband is supposed to give her praise and treats and you would be responsible for discipline, so she associates him only with good things. I know that's the basic idea I'm sure you can find more specific techniques online or in a book. Runner I know you can get over your fear! Good luck!

[ashleycat]

He does give her treats. Well, more like she sniffs it and lowers her head more. But she will TAKE it from me and my daughter lol. It wasn't like this the first day. I dunno. I really hope he didn't do anything to her. I didn't see anything, and he wasn't home alone with her. I doubt it. Or maybe it was he was trying to play rough with her like we did with Charlie? He LOVED that (charlie) But Runner is more timid and doesn't play rough.

I got her to play with me earlier. I was just down on my hands and knees bouncin around and she was bouncin too. It was so cute.

[IRescue452]

Poor baby must have had a bad experience. Hubby will have to make some special Runner time where they do something she really enjoys. Does she have a favorite toy? (assuming she plays with toys) Maybe she can only have that toy if your husband is playing with her.

[Karen]

She was probably abused - verbally, physically, or both - by a male adult in the past. Give it time, she will learn that there's nothing to fear in him. I have several friends who went through the same thing with their shelter pups. Time, and extra effort on his part never to raise his voice near her, and to not, for the time being, make quick hand motions near her.

One of the most heart-wrenching scenes this reminds me of was my older brother's rescue Great Dane mix. She was not yet a year old, this big, "all legs" greature who had "only been beaten when she barked." Well of course my brother heard that, and had to bring her home. I met her after she had been with his family about a week. She had already been named "Princess" by my then 4-year-old (you probably guessed that) niece. The poor thing was sweet as can be, but underweight and terrified of anyone who wasn't my brother his wife or his daughter. I stood in the doorway of the kitchen, and she was all the way over on the other side of the room. I had been told about her past, so I crouched down and called to her quietly. She wagged her tail, slowly, then harder, but just could NOT bring herself to come any closer. It just about broke my heart. Princess did "sneak up on me" later in the visit, but I pretended not to notice her, so she could sniff me thoroughly without getting spooked.

A couple months later, she and my neice were tripping over each other to greet me at the door when I visited. It's amazing the difference a little time, and a whole lot of love, can make in a dog!

[BOBS DAD]

This is an interesting thread and one that perhaps broaches more than just the usual. On a more touchy subject (to some), race seems to be something that dogs remember - just like males/females, adults/children.

I would have never thought that but for my own experience. I bought Ginger from a very nice gentleman I met while hunting. He was a black man and we ran into each other in the field one day and were chit chatting and talking dogs (and comparing each others). He said he was going to be having a litter later on that year and if I was interested in a pup to give him a call.

So I remembered the date he told me and I did in fact call him, went out to see pups, picked my beautiful Ginger and the rest is history. Except for Ginger's unusual separation behavior.

You see, she was always a happy and a good girl. A real joy and she loved her new home and all the attention she got. She loved all strangers we might meet in our travels too. But when we encountered anyone of African heritage, she would get really, really happy. She would pull me across the street to a family or a man just walking or sitting waiting for a bus. Her tail would be going wag, wag, wag all crazy and she would start wimpering, jump up on them! It was quite remarkable. While she was happy, she obviously missed her birth home and recognized people who reminded her of it! I told my hunting friend and he seemed to agree and was (as was I) humbled and complimented that Ginger remembered him (in a way). Pretty Cool I thought.

So if Ginger remembered her original Dad/family in "good way", then I guess it is possible that if somebody bad abused your girl, she could remember that too.

[ashleycat]

The other night she was dreaming, and she was crying. I could hear her. It was sooo sad. when I cry in my sleep I hold my breath. It sounded like she was too. It went on for a few min before I told him to pet her try and calm her down. Poor thing. I'm pretty sure she was abused some way.