joke thread

[G.P.girl]

8 famous blond inventions:
1) Waterproof towels
2) Solar powered flashlight
3) trap doors on submarines
4)a book titled "teach yourself to read"
5) An inflatable dartboard
6) A dictionary with an index
7) Instant water powder (just add water)
8) water proof tea filter

[HoRsELUvR]

I heard this joke from a friend.It's really funny.

An elementary school teacher was receiving gifts from her students at the end of the year.One student whose father owned a butcher shop came up and gave her his package.The teacher shook it and asked,"Is it beef jerkey?"
"Yea, how'd you know?",said the kid.
"Lucky guess",the teacher answered.
The next kid, wYea, how'd you know?",said the kid.hose father owned a candy store, handed the teacher a package.She shook it and said,"I bet it's candy."
"Yea how'd you know?
Lucky guess",the teacher answered.
Another kid, whose father owned a liquor store, gave the teacher a package.She shook the package, and a few drops fell out,so she tasted them.
"Is it wine?", the teacher said.
"Nope",said the kid,so the teacher let a few more drops of the package from the liquor store fall on her finger so she could taste it again.

"How about champagne?"said the teacher.
"No"
"Well what is it?"
The kid answered,"It's a puppy!"

[trayi52]

As chaplain in a university residence hall, I am supposed
to uphold all of the school rules, which include a ban on
pets. That changed when a kitten adopted me.

The freshmen in my dorm kept my secret. They covered for
me by calling my kitten "the Book," since I had so many in
my room.

One morning I was leaving the dorm with the kitten in a carrier. A
student stopped me and asked, "Where are you taking the Book?"

I exlained that I was taking the kitten to the vet. "She's getting
neutered today," I told him.

"Hmmm," the student responded, "no sequels."

[LauralG]

Gift for Snow White
Snow White received a camera as a gift. She happily took pictures of the Dwarfs and their surroundings. When she finished her first batch she took the film to be developed. After a week or so she went to get the finished photos. The clerk said the photos were not back from the processor.

Needless to say, she was disappointed and started to cry. The clerk, trying to console her, said,

"Don't worry. Someday your prints will come".

lol
yep I'm blonde also. lol Great jokes guys they were all funny.

[trayi52]

Laura, that is hilarious!!

Willie

[LauralG]

lol thanks Willie

[amoore]

I'm a blond too.

[amoore]

At least I found my prints!

[LauralG]

lol I guess I got to kiss alot of toods before i get my price o I mean....... Prints lol great pic.. great jokes. Thanks.

[amoore]

He is a prince not a toad! heheheh . Don't you think he is" purdy!"

[LauralG]

Whats his name and he your pet? He is big lol.









Thanks Willie for this pretty signature

[amoore]

That is Sipoweitz, He is the most petted frog out of my 7. He is so sweet, you pick him up and he starts talking frog talk. He is the one in my signature. I have had him for two years, almost three.

[LauralG]

I just love it when frogs sing we hear them alot out here in Canada because I live near alot of water. He is pretty.








Thanks Wiliie for this signature Ii is so pretty.

[trayi52]

ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and
is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS: The only creatures you eat before they are born
and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do
more damage.
HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.
INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.
TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines.

[amoore]

LOL! That is funny, but true!