The most disgusting thing

[Denyce]

Ok. Now that I have had time to formulate some thoughts...here goes.

1. Yes this should be moved to the Dog House and under a different title.

2. Cass....I really do not understand why in the world you felt it necessary to post a very long diatribe as to what YOU believe to be proper parenting techniques. Were you attempting to inform all of us who have decided not to have children why we should become more tolerant of someone's brat because they are trying to REASON with a TWO year old. Were you taking that attitude I so hate that just because I haven't given birth I can't possibly understand how to parent? That I am just a complete idiot and they only way you can gain this knowledge is by giving birth? I am sorry if this is sounding personal but I was very offended by your post on parenting. I am glad you have found something that you feel works for you. Many parents don't. I am also glad that you don't take your child to movies it shouldn't be at or expensive restaurants. Many parents do.

3. I know quite a bit about parenting. Just because I don't have a child doesn't mean I haven't been in this situation. I have a much younger step-brother who has SEVERE behavioral problems. He was classified by the "experts" as having a conduct disorder with undersocialized aggression. In other words he has the potential to be a murdering psychopath. My mother went through hell with this child. I went through hell with this child. And you know what? He had blonde curly hair, dimples and pretty blue eyes and his very favorite thing to do was to smile cutely and wave at people in public places so that suckers would go gaa gaa over him and smile back waving and saying...."awwwwww...isn't he just sooooo cute?????" Of course this was just after he tried to kill my 4 year old cousin by attempting to push him down some steep stairs or tried to kill his family by blowing out the pilots in the gas stove and cranking up the gas in the middle of the night while everyone else was asleep. Or how about the time he smashed my mother over the head with a baseball bat while she was sleeping sending her to the emergency room? So no. Because of my experience I don't always smile at a "cute" kid when they attempt purposely to get my attention. I listened to all the "experts" tell us how we had to just have more PATIENCE with Kendall. We just had to reason with him more...explain to him why his behavior was inappropriate. So I am sorry if I am coming off angry. Like I said..your post on parenting offended me greatly. I have been to places with children you never want to see and I don't appreciate being told I have to have more restraint and patience with bratty children.


I would like to post further on this whole topic but perhaps when I have calmed down more. I really don't like getting personal with controversial issues. And I must apoligize for seeming to attack. This just touched a real sore spot for me. When my step brother started attempting to kill the family he was only 5..when he sent my mom to the emergency room he was only 8. He spent the remainder of his youth in a home for boys with problems. My parents are still paying the costs for that. The last I had heard he was going to Med School in the Albequrque area. *shudder*

Denyce

[Airedalekisses]

I didn't put a single word in your mouth-You said and I quote, "The Healthy Start lady who goes over child development explains that temper tantrums are normal and teaches self control and good discipline." not out of context or anything. This debate could go on forever-but some people think children are perfect and they have a god given right to have children. Well don't step on my rights-just keep your child as far away from me as possible and I won't make any rude comments about the child and you don't make any about someone who prefers the company of animals and adults!!Enough said. Enjoy your child as much as possible!

[ILoveReptiles]

I KNOW I'm going to catch h#ll for this, but I honestly feel that there should be a mandatory test that all people who intend to have children must take... And they MUST PASS IT to prove that they can be responsible parents and teach their children the right way to behave.

I think there should be mandatory (reverseable) sterilization for everyone on the onset of puberty, and they should have to take the parenthood test and pass in order to have the sterilization reversed.

Feel free to cut me apart... but I stand by this. After all - you need a license to drive, a license to get married, etc... but any loser can become a parent. It just doesn't make sense to me.

[Denyce]

When a person makes the choice to become a parent they give up certain privledges and freedoms that those of us who choose to remain childless still have. When the parent takes the child into a restaurant they should be doing so with the expectation that they may not be able to finish their meal. It is the parents RESPONSIBILITY to make sure that their child behaves in a manner that is respectful and polite. If they do NOT then it is the parents RESPONSIBILITY to remove the offending child from that environment so as to not step on the RIGHTS of the rest of the patrons who are spending their hard earned money and precious free time on an evening out.

If a child is acting out...throwing a temper tantrum, whining, crying, kicking out then the child is unhappy for some reason. A good parent should remove the child and take them to a place that makes them happier. Perhaps the child is tired, bored or whatever..that doesn't matter the child is apparently unhappy and should be dealt with.

I do not advocate the beating of children. I do advocate consistancy, firmness and paying attention to the wants and needs of your child. If a child is not able to behave like a human being and insists upon acting like a chimp on steroids then they should be removed and then next time the parents are going out to say a restaurant again they EXPLAIN to the child that because their behaivour was unacceptable the last time so this time they get to stay home with a babysitter and have liver and brussell sprouts. Eventually the child will learn that only by being a civilized human will they get the treat of pizza or whatever the better food is.

Those of us who remain child free should not have to leave a store, mall, restaurant or anywhere else because someone elses child is being a brat. The brat needs to leave. We didn't have children so we don't have to deal with bratty children why in the world should we have to put up with someone elses. And if the parent of the bratty child refuses to remove them then they have to deal with the dirty looks, the complaints to managers, people telling them how disgusting thier child is and all the other negative responses. This world is made up of actions and reactions. Consequences both good and bad.

I have always said there should be a test before someone can get pregnant. A person at my work is having his third illegitamate child with a third woman. Yea...he is the model of responsibility.

Denyce

[Airedalekisses]

oh, absolutely agree with the license-I was cut to ribbons for advocating Norplant in all unmarried women under the age of 18 who came to the planned parenthood clinic-some of them were dragged by their mothers because they didn't want to see their child's life ruined by an unwanted pregnancy-I'm sick and tired of hearing these little 14 year old girls saying they want a baby because it will love them unconditionally!! I watched a talk show -this sweet guy had 6 children by 6 different women and he was all of 18. Oh those kids are really going to have a good life-they'll have tantrums just to get the attention they never got!!The young mothers resent them; the father can't support them financially or emotionally-he is essentially a sperm donor nothing more!!

[CathyBogart]

So I should have to remove myself from a nice dinner with my mate because I don't want to hear junior screaming his head off? No.

I think next time I make flight arrangements I'm going to make sure there aren't any small children on board...because last time one was squalling all night while I attempted to sleep. Unexcusable.

I think I would make a darn fine parent. I choose not to because A: I don't care for kids and B: I want to concentrate on being a wonderful mate to my man.

There is never an excuse for a tantrum being thrown in a ublic place without the offending creature being removed. I don't care if they're in the middle of a shopping trip or whatever. The PARENT made the choice to bring the child out in public, they should be prepared to leave immediately should the child start up. My mom did it, and it sure worked for me! I learned quickly that screaming was -not- how to get what I wanted.

GO PREGNANCY LICENSE! I wish I had had some sterilization process done when I was young....It would have saved me a lot of anguish when my ex purposely got me pregnant at sixteen so that I wouldn't leave him. Obviously it didn't work, but I wish it had been prevented.

[luckies4me]

Originally posted by WolfChan


GO PREGNANCY LICENSE! I wish I had had some sterilization process done when I was young....It would have saved me a lot of anguish when my ex purposely got me pregnant at sixteen so that I wouldn't leave him. Obviously it didn't work, but I wish it had been prevented.

Man WolfChan, that is horrible. I cannot believe someone would do that? That's just crazy!


I just wanted to say that everything you guys are saying I AGREE with. YES it is the parents respsonsibility to not have a child that acts like a satanist. My child is well behaved so fortunately I rarely have to deal with it.

[Crikit]

Okay well I just got around to reading...well mostly reading this thread. When I have the time and don't have to get up a 6 in the morning I'll read the rest.

I have to say that I to am one of those people who does not and will not have children, it's not my thing. There's a running joke with me that I'm going to be the crazy dog lady or to my friends kids if they have them I'll be crazy auntie Tracy...the one they hardly ever see. I can't really say why I don't like children I just don't, I have no explanation for it, but I have a feeling that part of it lies in the fact that for the last 8 years I've had to live with my spoiled brat of a niece, but to be honest even before that I didn't like kids...heck I think I didn't even like kids when I was a kid. Now someone explain that one to me?

Do I think that I'll ever change my mind, probably not. Kids just aren't in my future I would gladly take dogs over kids anyday.

[shais_mom]

I have 2 nephews that I adore, but I am glad when they or I go home!!!

I don't think that paid sterilization is a bad thing. I would be willing for my tax dollars to go to paying a drug addict $200 to get their tubes tied or a hysterectomy as long as they don't bring more drug addicted babies into the world.
Working in a hospital I know of several women that just keep having babies until 'they let me keep one'. B/c all the rest are in foster care.
Makes me sick.

[ILoveReptiles]

WolfChan ... I'm so sorry to hear you got Oopsed.

IMHO, that's got to be one of the absolute WORST things someone can do to another person.

As far as I'm concerned, if someone tries that, all trust is gone. That's a huge deal breaker.

I don't know what posesses these people to do such selfish things. It's really enraging.

[ILoveReptiles]

One of my cousins recently had a baby shower... I'm glad I didn't go because as a gift I was planning to get him a bottle of Jack Daniel's, and a sympathy card.

[Cheshirekatt]

Originally posted by ILoveReptiles
Nothing - it's just not for me. I don't want to add to the overpopulation problem, and I don't have the patience or the desire. What's wrong with not having them?

I'm with you. People always ask me why I don't want to have kids. My reply? I don't like them!

I see way too many people who seem to not like their kids but keep having more.....I'll never understand.

[ILoveReptiles]

Originally posted by Cheshirekatt
I'm with you. People always ask me why I don't want to have kids. My reply? I don't like them!

I see way too many people who seem to not like their kids but keep having more.....I'll never understand.

And is it really any of their business why you don't want them? Why must people grill us for wanting to remain child-free?!?!?

You don't see them grilling anyone who professes to want kids, asking them why why why why? Do you? I mean HECK! In this society, a kid can be 15 and say Hey I wanna have a baby now. She'll be revered as a super moo and praised for making sacrifices, etc...

However if that same 15 year old child said "Hey I never want kids." The reaction she gets is ooo... well you'll change your mind... blah blah blah - let's play breeder bingo.

Why can't they just leave us alone?!?!?!

[luckies4me]

It's bad enough to have people asking you, but what about if you ALREADY have a child!!! One is ENOUGH for me right now, that's what I can handle. When I feel my breasts are no longer saggy, I have the energy back, and I have more money saved and our house is fixed up , maybe then I will decide to have another. I am not some baby machine! Labor sucks, pregnancy sucks (at least until the morning sickness is gone........then there are a couple months you like, then it gets bad again because you have constant pressure on your bladder, can't sleep etc.) and there are a few times after the baby comes you feel like you want to explode. Of course the good outweight the bad. But I just do not want another right now.


I always hear, oh I can't beleive you aren't trying for another baby. Excuse me, but i think a few miscarriages are enough for me! I guess I am so selfish because I do not want to give Dylan a brother or sister, so he's going to be alone all his life. How sad.

Give me a break. My sons got it good!

[Airedalekisses]

With me it was always at a wedding they would say , "You're next, you're next." Just once I would have loved to have been at a funeral with some of those people and said the same thing!

You would have made such a good mother and with your high IQ , artistic talent and naturally blond hair(Until 24 then it turned stark white) the child would have been perfect.
Well I didn't feel like playing genetic roulette-and why have a child just to satisfy someone's curiosity.

What I love is the women who have had a number of children and blame the kids for the weight they've gained. Someone asked me how I maintain my 24 inch waist"simple no children"they look appalled! I do feel sorry for women who choose to have children-wow hormone overload and being uncomfortable!
There was an article some years ago- Ann Landers asked how many people if they could do it over would have children- 82% said they wouldn't!!