kitchen disasters

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by Miss Meow
~ bump ~
The muck is still in the kitchen because I can't bear to put the mess in the compost and admit defeat.

never admit defeat.....go for the uneasy peace!

[robinh]

I would post one of my really bad ones, but I've moved them to the dark recesses of my mind never to be brought forth again. My mistakes we call "tear up that card, dear" and I'm not allowed to try to cook them again. I can say that I have set off the smoke alarm more than once.

This has been the best thread yet. I have laughed so hard my eyes water. Only problem with it, my co-workers keep looking at me when I burst into laughter.

FYI Richard - lactose intolerant and allergic to milk are two different things. I'm not intolerant (at least not to milk) but highly allergic to it - it causes normal allergy problems like you would get from pollen, dust, etc.

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by robinh

FYI Richard - lactose intolerant and allergic to milk are two different things. I'm not intolerant (at least not to milk) but highly allergic to it - it causes normal allergy problems like you would get from pollen, dust, etc.

LOL,

I know.....i's that they both make you sick....one makes you itch and the other makes you.........................sick!

[captain]

Originally posted by robinh
This has been the best thread yet. I have laughed so hard my eyes water. Only problem with it, my co-workers keep looking at me when I burst into laughter.

Ditto!!!

Note to self - take own food to Miss Meow for the BBQ!

[Miss Meow]

Originally posted by captain
Ditto!!!

Note to self - take own food to Miss Meow for the BBQ!

Did you make that small so my woeful eyesight would miss it? I'll make you a special batch of florentines for that!

[captain]

No not at all ..................

I was just imagining Florentines in the PINK kitchen ...........

[QueenScoopalot]

This threads right up my alley! Many years ago I made (or should say tried) a cinnamon loaf. I rolled out the fresh dough, added butter and cinnamon & sugar to the middle, rolled it up and let it set. After a while it went into the oven and baked....and baked....and baked. I wondered why it never puffed up? I called it quits after a good 45 minutes, pulled it out and let it cool. It sure smelled good !!! I took a knife out to cut it and it was like cement. So I threw it into the yard for critters to eat and there it sat for a good two years! Another time I made Coque' St. Jaques (sp)? which is delicious made right, and I had made it a few times before. Company was over and too much beer was flowing so I ended up curdling the sauce four times and gave it up. Can't recall what we all ate that day, but I don't think anyone noticed.

[RICHARD]

just remembered one....

the pilot went out on one side of our old stove...
To get the thing going we would have to roll up a piece of paper, light it, light the burner and toss the paper in the sink to put it out.

Well, the trash can is kinda square like the sink, and it sits in front of the sink, so......

The door where the trash can went from pink to gray until we painted it and to this day is still bumpy, scarred from the fire!

The funniest part was trying to reach over the can to get some water to put the fire out....

It took us about a minute to figure out that the can would be pulled awat from the wall to get better access to the faucet..

[apcrs5122]

Great thread, and funny stories!

Not too long ago I was over at my friend's house for her birthday party. It was the morning after (we slept over) and we went into the kitchen to make ourselves breakfast. Now, remember that there were 4 teenage girls in the kitchen, who hadn't slept all night, and had had way too much sugar We were going to make pancakes, bacon, toast, and eggs. I was cooking the pancakes, and one of the other girls was cooking the eggs beside me while the other two watched. Everything was going great until her dog, a very large German Shepard, ran in and jumped up onto my friend (who was cooking eggs and had just taken the skillet off of the burner). She kind of fell forward, and her long hair fell onto the burner! It caught on fire and we were all totally freaking out, but we had water right there and threw it all over her head. She turned out just fine, except that her hair was schorched

[cubby31682]

I have a few.

The first one is my Mom's mistake. She was in the kitchen one day using a mixer to make some cookies (she has never been a baker) my dad brother and I were sitting in the living room watching tv. My brother or me I can't remember which called her and she turned her head (with the mixer still going) and the mixer got caught in her hair and went strait to her head. We were all laughing so hard that we couldn't stop to help her. She had to cut out a huge chunk of hair just to get it out of her hair. We didn't get cookies that night and she has never made any since then. She just got a mixer a few months ago but it is a attached to base now so she has no worries about getting caught up in it. Even to this day we still tease her about it. When someone new comes into the house we have to tell them that story.

The second story is about me. This happened 4 years ago. My boyfriend (now my husband) and I just got are first apartment. So of course I wanted to do the home cooking thing. I have always loved to cook. So I decided to make some chicken. I got everything set all the chicken the way I like it. The oven was pre heated and set to 400 degrees. I put the chicken in and every 30 minutes I would go and check on it. Well after about 3 hours of the chicken not getting done I got frustraited and gave up and called my mom and asked how long to cook chicken and I told her what I had the oven set to. She started laughing at me. That night we still didn't get the chicken. We still have no clue why the oven wasn't working. It works great now.

Another time I tried to make chocolate chip cookies. Well I followed the instructions on the package of the chips. I put them in the over and they went all over. I asked my husband what I did wrong (he makes the best chocolate chip cookies) he came out and looked at them and said he didn't know. So I went back to the store and re bought everything on the bag. I got home tried again same thing happened. Tried again and again the same thing happened. So by this time I was getting so mad at my self and everything and everyone around me. So I told my husband to go to the store and buy everything on the list again. Which he did. He got back and I tried again. This time they came out perfect. Then I figured out that you are suppose to use butter and NOT margiren. OOPS!!!

Then just recently, I made some ramon noodles for my self. I cooked it on the stove (I hardly ever use my microwave.) I got done poured the noodles in a bowl and went and sat down in front of pet talk, about 10 minutes later I hear this noise comeing from the kitchen I look over and see nothing. So I keep eating a browsing PT. I kept hearing the noise, so I got up went and looked at the pan and looked at the stove and the burner was bright red. Instead of turning the burner off I turned it up to high.

I also make this treat that we call 'dog food' It looks like dog food. Well I started making a batch of it, got all the chocolate chips and peanut butter chips all melted. Set the bowl on top of the stove and started mixing in the chex cereal. Well about 2 minutes later my husband comes into the kitchen and I of course kick him out of the kitchen and he got up set and looked at me and said "What the hell in burning in here?!?" So I looked at him and of course said nothing, I have no idea what you're talking about. So he lifted up the bowl and it was melted to the burner. I just used the stove and I forgot that I used that burner. Opps.

In my own defense I really am I good cook.

[QueenScoopalot]

Years ago my mother would periodically clean out the freezer of meats vegtables etc. that had been there too long and put it all in a pot and cook it for the dogs. My older brother (a chronic complainer about her cooking) came home late one night, saw this "stew" on the stovetop and had several bowls before bed. The next morning he gets up and tells her the stew was delicious! He still gets really p-d off when someone mentions the delicious freezer burnt stew! YUCK!

[RICHARD]

Had to bring back this thread.....

I love the Mahatma brands of rice....yellow, beef and chicken.
Saffron in the yellow and chicken flavors, Brown for the beef....



When it goes on sale buy extra and I store a few packages in the cupboard.

I hanker for rice so I grab one, boil the water open the package, spill it into the pot...and..



The fricking package has all these black things in it....

I gross out...Weevils or some darn thing is swimming in my pot of rice.......

So I toss the pot into the sink....

And get a bowl of corn flakes or somesuch..


Later on, in the process of cleaning up, I look at he package to see if the cat hasn't poked holes in it and let the rice go bad..The Edster loves cellophane packages and is known to puncture packages for the hell of it..


As I feverishly check the package for a date, I note the word "SPICY"
on the front of it...

Mahatma never bothered to tell me that they have a new brand of rice with little black spicy things inside of it...

I can only laugh about the disgust I held in my heart while I thought I was
"Boiling Weevils" on my stove....


So now I will be on the look out for spicy rice and boiling insects....

[Lady's Human]

If the insects are boiled they just become extra protein in the mix!

Where's your sense of adventure, richard?

[RICHARD]

If the insects are boiled they just become extra protein in the mix!

Where's your sense of adventure, richard?

Shoot,

Fred Rogan was nowhere in sight with a 50,000 dollar check????