Some Dick Cheney jokes..

[RICHARD]

I guess coming out and saying that you were the one that pulled the trigger cannot be compared to making a statement concerning something about sex and "that woman".




Let's keep this about the vice presidents.....

What was it that My pal Al Gore said about the US in Saudi Arabia a few days ago.


http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060213/..._ea/saudi_gore

This bobo was going to be my president?

And why are Billary and Ted going to Senate meetings about armed forces supplies?

Edward voted against a war so he is covered....But Bill and Hill routinely cut the knees from under all the branches of the United States military. And now they care about the PASGT stuff that they are sending to IRAQ?

(During the meeting one officer made a comment about 'shooting themselves in the gut', Ted, being the great politician he is, said that considering the news, it wasn't an appropriate comment.....Billary tossed her head back and laughed out loud....)

-------------------------------

ONE MORE TIME.

I DO NOT CARE IF THE GWB AND THE OTHERS look at my email (Please do not draw the connection that using a DSL line or dial up modem is tantamout to 'looking into my home')

My computer holds the same bland mass mailings you all get, the racy emails my friends send me and some other stuff that my mom would blanch at, knowing her eldest son has seen it.

In case you are wondering, the NSA monitors quite a bit of email and voice commo all across the continent.

They have programs and traps set up to filter out the fact that people are on pet sites, have the Paris Hilton home movies on their harddrive....they don't care if you emailed your old man or old lady some dirty pics you took as a Valentine's day gift.

You have to really trip the alarm, which will in turn, perk up some ears in order for the government to make you a target.

Paranoia may not be that bad a condition to deal with....waiting for the government to break down your door distracts you from dying in a terrorist
attack.

Hmmm,
Having a few techs laughing at my harddrive is a far better trade off than watching people jump out of a 110 story building- they only put off being crushed..

I seem to remember seeing people post about the crappy job the US did in getting info about 9/11....well, we can't spy....

So, since we can't spy, let's just put an ad in the paper....I am sure people will let us know when the hammer is ready to come down.

[Edwina's Secretary]

Liz, while it is off topic in a way, it is a response to ES's questioning the present administration's respect for the Constitution. She brought up her fear of Government run amok, I provided an example of government run amok, people she would like to see back in power. Waco. I could also include Echelon.

LH...I find it VERY offensive when you put words in my mouth. I have asked you once not to do so. People she would like to see back in power. You have no more idea who I would like to see in power than the man in the moon.

Speak you opinion but do NOT assume you know mine. I prefer not to stoop to your level.

[Lady's Human]

ES, you've made your views fairly well known over the years.

[RICHARD]

You have no more idea who I would like to see in power than the man in the moon.

Is Neil Armstrong running for president?

[Edwina's Secretary]

You show me... just once...where I have said who I would like to see "back in power."

One thing I have always tried to do is avoid any name-calling -- overt or implied -- of anyone on this board. I have not suggested I know what you think except where I am repeating what you have stated. On more than one occasion you have not shown me the same courtesy.

I believe when you lie down with dogs you get up with fleas (no offense meant to dogs....) so I will not, as I said, stoop to your level.

Let's try and stay on course.

[Edwina's Secretary]

Is Neil Armstrong running for president?

Couldn't be any worse....

[Lady's Human]

ES, you have made many comments about the President "Stealing" the election. Being that the election in question was in 2000, and there is only one reason to continue a line like that for that long, you make it fairly clear where your political leanings are.

[Edwina's Secretary]

You still make no sense LH.....your last fews comments are off-point and incomprehensible.

Perhaps you should go back to explaining to us why it was Mr. Whittington's fault he was shot by the Vice-president while 30 yards behind...walking up in his orange jacket to rejoin the hunting group.

[Karen]

While this is The Dog House, it is still part of Pet Talk.

Everyone should play nice. We know by now that Lady's Human and Edwina's Secretary disagree in their political leanings. This thread has gone a bit too far, and gotten to the point where many people will just feel completely lost.

Everyone here is a caring, loving person, who sincerely wants the best for all of God's creatures, whether they have fur, feathers, scales, and yes - even plain old (or new) skin.

Please play nicely, everyone.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Any truth to the rumor that he really was hunting for Quayle?

Genius!

[RICHARD]

Let's try and stay on course.

Hey, NO FAIR rewriting presidential punchlines.

[lizbud]

Just can't help myself, soooo funny.


He loves the smell of gunpowder
By John Kenney, JOHN KENNEY has just finished his first novel.


VICE PRESIDENT Dick Cheney accidentally shot documentary filmmaker Michael Moore yesterday as Moore was walking out of a Manhattan Denny's.

A spokesperson for the vice president said that it was a "complete accident" and that Cheney felt "horrible." The White House released a statement saying that the shooting was "just bad timing. Vice President Cheney, who is well-versed in firearms safety, was merely sitting in a shrub, wearing camouflage, outside of a Denny's frequented by Mr. Moore." The statement went on to say that Cheney had been in the shrub for "several days." Moore is said to have suffered only minor injuries and was released from the hospital.


IN ANOTHER BIZARRE accident, Cheney mistakenly shot every Democratic member of the Senate Judiciary Committee. A White House spokesman said that the vice president feels "bad, but not that bad." An aide to Cheney said that the vice president "happened to be in the committee chambers, under a chair, when he stood up to put on a pair of chaps, accidentally shooting the committee members, stopping to reload three times." Remarkably, the committee members were largely unhurt and are expected to make complete recoveries.



THE WHITE HOUSE was put on the defensive again today when Air Force Two was forced to make an emergency landing 25 miles west of New York City after a loss of cabin pressure because of the accidental shooting of former FEMA Director Michael D. Brown and Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff. Both men have recently come under criticism for their handling of the federal response to Hurricane Katrina. Cheney was said to be "laughing, but also deeply concerned" when he was awoken from a nap after accidentally shooting the men at close range. Typically, shotguns are not allowed on either Air Force One or Two, but Cheney is, the statement said, "a seasoned hunter and also planned to accidentally shoot both men." Both Brown and Chertoff are expected to make complete recoveries, although it remains unclear as to why Brown was duct-taped to the wing of the plane.

A White House spokesman later added that the vice president had been on his way to New York City to accidentally shoot New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd.



SEN. HILLARY Rodham Clinton miraculously escaped injury today after Cheney accidentally ran up to her motorcade and accidentally shot at her car. The White House said the vice president "tripped."

"These things happen," a White House spokesman said. "Guns, while completely safe, are also dangerous."

A member of the vice president's staff said Cheney apologized to the former first lady and potential presidential candidate in a handwritten note.

"I'm sorry I almost shot you. But know that I will try again and will also be sorry then too. I like the sound a gun makes and the smell of the gunpowder. 'Flint' is a neat word. "

[Lady's Human]

And yet somehow in all that he managed to miss Al Franken, John McCain, and James Carville!

[Pam]

Well I have read none of this thread and don't intend to but I got something in an e-mail tonight that expresses my thoughts on this exactly......
I'd rather hunt with Dick Cheney than ride with Ted Kennedy

At least Mr.Whittington is still alive.

My co-worker, a dyed-in-the-wool democrat, said today *enough already." I couldn't agree more.

[lizbud]

Well I have read none of this thread and don't intend to but I got something in an e-mail tonight that expresses my thoughts on this exactly......

I agree that the Cheney jokes are beginning to get old.Guess what, if the
next Pres. & VP are Democrats, you will have years to get even.