I am just now seeing this, and I can tell you by the time I was halfway through the thread, I had tears running down my cheeks. I can so imagine what you are going through, and although I know how natural it is to blame ourselves for these things, I can only repeat that you are NOT a bad mom. A bad mom would not care and would just let it go. We ALL make mistakes or overlook things, I can think of a couple things off the top of my head that I did without thinking that caused problems with the pups.
The one that hits closest to home so to speak would be a couple years ago when I was out in the yard with the dogs. I was checking the plants in the garden and not really watching the dogs. I looked up to see Tommy chowing down on moldy old grass clippings from the compost bin. A day later he got horribly ill. I won't go into the details but it was a mess, and he very nearly underwent surgery as well. The bill was around $500 and he stayed at the vet's for 4-5 days. What a nightmare it was, and I was terrified that I would lose him. Of course I blamed myself, like you blame yourself now. It's hard not to, but you are far from a bad Momma.
Bailey will most definitely be in my thoughts and prayers, and you too. Lots of {{{HUGS}}} to you.
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