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Thread: Idea for a story

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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    wisconsin
    Posts
    6,164
    Here's Carson when he was a baby. What a cutie!


    "It seems to me she is scared of you, Jason." the vet said, closing my door. "When she was brought in, she had a chain around her neck. She was horribly skinny. I suggest you give this dog to a better home. Immediately." The vet said.
    "Um yeah. I wanted to do that, but she ran away. Would you like her?" Jason asked, looking at Amanda. Amanda started to cry again, and they started filling out adoption papers.
    "I'm so glad you're okay." Carson said, still trying to lick me through the bars of my cage.
    "I'll survive." I said lifting my head. Amanda had run back over to me and was opening the cage door when Jason appeared behind her.
    "Bye Ari." he said and left.
    "What a mean jerk Ari. It's okay. You're coming to live with me girl! Me and Carson!" Carson must have understood what she said because he immediately began to wag his tail and jump all over Amanda.

    twitter.
    http://twitter.com/meganxxjo



    now she's slowly opening
    new eyes.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Riding my bike somewhere...
    Posts
    26,408
    Great story.

    It needs some grammar help, I suggest you bring it to your English teacher.

    ~Kay, Athena, Ace, Kiara, Mufasa, & Alice!
    "So baby take a axe to your makeup kit
    Set ablaze the billboards and their advertisements
    Love with all your hearts and never forget
    How good it feels to be alive
    And strive for your desire"

    -rx bandits

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    North East Ohio
    Posts
    11,760
    Woo Hoo!!!! Good Good Good.........

    okay..... more!!
    ~Angie, Sierra & Buddy
    **Don't breed or buy while shelter dogs die!**

    I suffer from multiple Shepherd syndrome



  4. #4
    WONDERFUL!!!!

    More!!!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    wisconsin
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    6,164
    Kay-
    Sorry my grammar isn't perfect, I'm writing 300 miles a minute right now. It's the thought that counts though? Right?

    twitter.
    http://twitter.com/meganxxjo



    now she's slowly opening
    new eyes.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
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    Riding my bike somewhere...
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    26,408
    There is no need to say sorry, I meant nothing of it. Cami's Amber told me that you thought I was being mean. I honestly meant nothing of it. There's just alot of "and"s among other things that are out of place our shouldn't be there. I was just trying to help you if you really do want your story published.

    My grammar isn't perfect either.

    ~Kay, Athena, Ace, Kiara, Mufasa, & Alice!
    "So baby take a axe to your makeup kit
    Set ablaze the billboards and their advertisements
    Love with all your hearts and never forget
    How good it feels to be alive
    And strive for your desire"

    -rx bandits

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Washington D.C.
    Posts
    2,086
    I don't think Kfamr was being mean. All GOOD writers need to be really good about criticism.

    The important thing, Aly, is that you're writing and you're getting an audience. I suggest you write as much as you can, save it in a Word program, print it out and ask your English teacher to review it so that you can do the fine tuning.

    But don't stop! And see all criticisms as wonderful gifts to help you become the best writer you can be!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    wisconsin
    Posts
    6,164
    Small update..

    Chapter 6: Back to Amanda's
    I had to stay at the hospital for a few days, but Amanda stayed as long as she could. The day I went home was the best day of my life. To make things even better, Amanda had contacted my Mom's owner and gotten the names of everyone who had taken a puppy the day Jason took me. She had arranged for everyone to meet at the local park.

    PS> We got things worked out Soledad. It's ok!

    twitter.
    http://twitter.com/meganxxjo



    now she's slowly opening
    new eyes.

  9. #9
    GREAT STORY!!!!!!!!! Sorry I haven't posted before now, you just kept writing and writing and writing......


    This is sooooooo good. You are a great author, this shoul be published


    MORE! MORE! MOOOOOORE!!!!!!!!!!!
    Dayna, Alex, Phoebe, Cleo, Rolo, Scooter, & Holly

    Thank you so much Popcornbird!

  10. #10
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    wisconsin
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    You guys im sooooo tired lol i've been online 8 HOURS writing this!!! lol ill write a little more tonight maybe.

    twitter.
    http://twitter.com/meganxxjo



    now she's slowly opening
    new eyes.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    wisconsin
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    bumpies

    twitter.
    http://twitter.com/meganxxjo



    now she's slowly opening
    new eyes.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
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    Kelowna, BC
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    12,062
    It's great so far, keep writing! You seem to have a knack for it.
    I've been BOO'd!

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Haines, Alaska!
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    I LOVE IT!


    I absolutly love it! Post somre more please

    Ash
    Dogs: Nova, Konnor and Sitka

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    North East Ohio
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    I can't wait for more!! You've done an AWSOME job!

    I'll be waiting!
    ~Angie, Sierra & Buddy
    **Don't breed or buy while shelter dogs die!**

    I suffer from multiple Shepherd syndrome



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    wisconsin
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    Ahh... I'm back... Gotta vaccuum the living room and then I will start typing!

    twitter.
    http://twitter.com/meganxxjo



    now she's slowly opening
    new eyes.

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