I'm really just so sorry you have to deal with all this.
It sounds like you're on some pretty powerful pain meds, and the only thing that comes to my mind is that sometimes people can become addicted to the pain meds and trying to quit them causes so much pain that all they want to do is take the meds again to make them feel better. This is just a really really tough situation to be in because it seems like you can't win for losing.
The only other thing I can think of that might help is if you started seeing some sort of counselor. I know you had said that David and all the financial troubles were contributing to your "condition" and you would think that now that you are on your own you'd be better. However, you've made huge changes in your life in the last few months and that alone is stressful enough. So just maybe somebody to talk to and help you "see a little more clearly" might not be a bad idea?
No matter what you do, I sure hope you get some answers soon. I just can't imagine all the pain you've been enduring lately and I just want it to be gone for you.
Tubby
Spring 1986 - Dec. 11, 2004
RIP Big Boy
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Peanut
Fall 1988 - Jan. 24, 2007
RIP Snotty Girl
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Robin
Fall 1997 - Oct. 6, 2012
RIP Sweet Monkeyhead Girl
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