My dad's lost his mind.....here we go again

[Malibu's Mom]

I don't know about hearing voices in your head, but I know dementia can cause delusions. My grandma has them occasionally. I have no idea what the heck "mood swings" is supposed to mean? He thinks that your dad is bipolar? Sounds like the doctor doesn't know what he's talking about. If you can find another doctor, I would.

I really hope that he can be diagnosed soon. Still sending prayers and love to your dad, you & your mom.

[Freedom]

but the voices in his head told him she had been there. .... He clearly has issues and is in the best place he can be for them.

I had to explain to my mom how to pump gas last night though. She's 70 and never had to do it herself, dad always did it. Hopefully she was successful.

My mom had a conversation with the doctor evaluating my dad. He feels sorry for him, says he's suffering, has "mood" swings. Really dude, where'd you get your degree, a cereal box. The man says "they" shine lasers in his eyes, he has 3 voices in his head and he has mood swings!!! He was crawling on his belly with a GUN!!! It would seem they're going to decide to ship him home next week, they have Thursday "hearings" to determine who stays and who goes. Who's going to be responsible if this idiot lets my dad out and he hurts or kills someone! OMG I am so angry, disappointed, upset!!! He has rights and can't be forced to take medication. I had hopes they could actually help him.

Gayle, is this what the doc told YOU, or how your Mum described it?

I've been through similar w/ a close family member (not my Dad). Just because they have periodic hearings -- which is proper procedure and the law here in USA -- does NOT mean they are releasing him. Just now, if I understand it, your Dad has been involuntarily held, as an emergency case. They've had time to evaluate him, and mean time the law says now time to see if he can be released. To me, the fact that the Doc said he is suffering, has mood swings, etc. means they have found reason to hold your Dad.

Apparently they've ID'd a med they want to try and your Dad doesn't want to take it. That is every person's right -- and again, a person who is a danger to himself and / or others who won't take their meds WILL NOT be released.

Much as it is a worry to your Mum having the phone calls, that is all evidence that adds up to why, at the hearing, the medical folks will advise keeping him.

Prayers continue for all of you.

[Queen of Poop]

My counsellor suggested I phone the doctor. But that plan's on hold for right now. My mom had a call from dad's social worker yesterday and is on her way to the hospital right now to take him some clothes and to see the social worker and doctor, as well as my dad. She's now taking the stance that he cannot come home if he's not medicated. She is not willing to take responsiblity for his actions. He is refusing meds. His first hearing time has been moved and won't now be until September 1st (ironically that's his 72nd birthday).

[Karen]

He is refusing meds. His first hearing time has been moved and won't now be until September 1st (ironically that's his 72nd birthday).

I am glad they moved the hearing back. I hope someone can get to the root of what's causing this, but at least you and your mom can rest a bit easier for now.

[Freedom]

She's now taking the stance that he cannot come home if he's not medicated. She is not willing to take responsiblity for his actions. He is refusing meds.

I wonder if they have a diagnosis, yet?

Some mental illnesses, the illness itself prevents the person taking meds. Schizophrenia is one of those - the person so believes they are all right and the world it out to get them, that they won't take meds. Folks with that diagnosis, in general, have a very low success rate at taking their meds. Too bad as, on the meds, they are often high functioning.

The Social Worker is doing her job. Again, hugs all around (yes, even to your Dad, as this is the illness talking, not the man you and your mom have known for years).

[Catty1]

Freedom - thanks for saying it is the illness talking. So true.

Gayle, I hope your mom taking a stand about your dad not coming home unless he is on medication sets him straight about that. It must be really hard for her - even though she had such a terrifying time.

More prayers for all of you.

[mrspunkysmom]

I can't say much, but stay strong. You have my prayers.

[bishtmaster]

It is a sad story, but before looking at the title i thought it might be humorous.

[cassiesmom]

My counsellor suggested I phone the doctor. But that plan's on hold for right now. My mom had a call from dad's social worker yesterday and is on her way to the hospital right now to take him some clothes and to see the social worker and doctor, as well as my dad. She's now taking the stance that he cannot come home if he's not medicated. She is not willing to take responsiblity for his actions. He is refusing meds. His first hearing time has been moved and won't now be until September 1st (ironically that's his 72nd birthday).

Oh boy, this is continuing to be a difficult situation. I'll keep praying.

[Queen of Poop]

So my mom made the trek yesterday. She saw my dad and his doctor. Dad is in a sad state, still being tortured by the voices in his head. He is currently refusing all medications. Mom told him he had to take the meds if he wanted to come home, seed planted I hope.

Mom had a good talk with the Doctor and is feeling better about things now. She said she was quite firm in not wanting dad back until and unless he was on meds, they were working and he was willing to take them reliably. The doctor is working on building trust with my dad and wants to get him onto low dose meds first and take it from there. This promises to be a long process.

I have to say I'm really proud of my mom and how she is handling this whole awful situation. She's alot stronger than I gave her credit for and is really forward thinking about things like who/how to get their acreage lawn cut, winter snow removal and the like. I'll be going to spend the September long weekend with her and we'll address any issues she might have in getting set for winter there by herself.

[Freedom]

I have to say I'm really proud of my mom and how she is handling this whole awful situation. She's alot stronger than I gave her credit for and is really forward thinking about things like who/how to get their acreage lawn cut, winter snow removal and the like. I'll be going to spend the September long weekend with her and we'll address any issues she might have in getting set for winter there by herself.

Hey, good for Gayle's Mom! Can't be easy . . . doing stuff often helps us get through the tough times . . . she's getting things in order, that is great.

[tokolosh]

I have to say I'm really proud of my mom and how she is handling this whole awful situation.

I second that! She is doing great. I've been thinking about this off and on for a while and I thought maybe she'd benefit from having the numbers of a crisis or domestic violence hotline? Not so much as direct intervention since the cops and social worker seem to have that one locked. But just as an alternate source of non-judgemental support and an experienced 'place' where she can vent or process or think things through if she needs. Although it doesn't sound like your dad is being intentionally frightening to her the way more generic ******* are, she's still stuck with the trauma and the side-effects of having her partner suddenly become extremely scary. She sure deserves all the support and validation that she can get.

[cassiesmom]

QofP, just wondering how things are going for your dad, mom and you. Hope they are going okay.

Hugs and prayers,
elyse

[Queen of Poop]

My mom talked with dad's social worker yesterday. Apparently he'd packed his bag and was planning to leave there yesterday morning. This place is locked down and there was no way he was leaving. They had quite a time getting him to settle down and go back to his room. His doctor is on vacation, previously planned. Dad apparently doesnt' like the replacement doctor at all - great! The original doctor did finally get him to agree to take meds to help him sleep - they are low dose anti psychotics. Not sure they're working so great yet. Mom had me type up and email a list of "events" to the social worker last evening so they'd have a better idea of what has been going on. I am absolutely shocked at his behavior and believe he, my mom and anyone near them is in jeopardy if he's released unmedicated. September 1 is his "hearing". I sure hope they decide to keep him longer.

[Alysser]

Really sorry I haven't seen this yet. This sounds like quite a mess and I am so sorry. I hope they find out what's going on very soon. Much luck and good thoughts for your dad, your mom, and you!