Calling all moms! Did/do you co-sleep?

[BitsyNaceyDog]

The initial query was about co-sleeping, not SIDS. Comparing the two would be like comparing apples and oranges.

I completely misunderstood your statement. I thought you meant ALL babies who died while co-sleeping, including SIDS deaths.

If I had a nickel for every "expert's" opinion on what I am doing/not doing/could be doing for my son, I would be really rich.

I do what feels right for me/us. After all, he is my child.

I completely agree.

[Medusa]

All make interesting points, however, JenBKR simply asked if there are any co-sleepers here on PT. Some of us simply replied to the question w/out expounding on our answers and w/out criticism or value judgment because we realize that each situation is different and therefore is a personal preference as to whether or not to allow co-sleeping.

[Cataholic]

Now, if you wanna keep things moving along, we can "discuss" carseats and EBF! LOL, talk about attitudes, opinions and the like.

[catnapper]

Now, if you wanna keep things moving along, we can "discuss" carseats and EBF! LOL, talk about attitudes, opinions and the like.

Not being dumb, but what's EBF?

[Edwina's Secretary]

If I had a nickel for every "expert's" opinion on what I am doing/not doing/could be doing for my son, I would be really rich.

I do what feels right for me/us. After all, he is my child.

And yet...I think how many times I have read on here "you should not let your cat go outside!" "you are a terrible person for feeding your dog that!!" "You must do this, you must do that!" Even sometimes on the thread for COTD and DOTD!!!

Perhaps we should apply the same standards to how people raise their animals?

...just a thought that stuck me...

[JenBKR]

And yet...I think how many times I have read on here "you should not let your cat go outside!" "you are a terrible person for feeding your dog that!!" "You must do this, you must do that!" Even sometimes on the thread for COTD and DOTD!!!

Perhaps we should apply the same standards to how people raise their animals?

...just a thought that stuck me...

Oh I think you are right, absolutely. Many of us, myself included I am sure, have done just that. I have seen it many times in the dog food threads especially. We are all here because we love our pets, and we should respect each others' decisions

[Cataholic]

And yet...I think how many times I have read on here "you should not let your cat go outside!" "you are a terrible person for feeding your dog that!!" "You must do this, you must do that!" Even sometimes on the thread for COTD and DOTD!!!

Perhaps we should apply the same standards to how people raise their animals?

...just a thought that stuck me...

I do think people need to do what is 'best' based on their opinion. But, I would hope that fact/research/medicine comes into play. Putting your child or pet at risk is different, to me, than making a parenting choice that isn't 'mainstream'.

Without knowing exactly what threads you might be referring to, I am just making general points here:

I do not think there is a whole lot of debate that letting your cat outside is riskier than keeping it inside- cars, fights, disease, etc. Now, there are probably situations that sound pretty ideal, and work to reduce the risk signficantly. And, presumably, people weigh the odds of allowing their cat its freedom and keeping it inside, and act accordingly. Feeding your dog significant amounts of chocolate is just a bad idea. I think the research is pretty strong there.

Co-sleeping with your child, according to the 'research' is not a physical risk, it is a societal risk (if I can call it that). I see it differently than I see not putting your child in a carseat, turning your 8 month old around to face forward in a carseat, giving whole grapes to your 9 month old, etc.

But, I do agree we should all do what seems best for our situation/family.

(EBF is extended breastfeeding. See, on another forum, in a place far, far from here, I was accused of having some sort of illicit relationship with my son cause I EBF. Talk about getting my hackles raised. )

[JenBKR]

(EBF is extended breastfeeding. See, on another forum, in a place far, far from here, I was accused of having some sort of illicit relationship with my son cause I EBF. Talk about getting my hackles raised. )

Oh geez....now that's crazy. I don't see a problem with EBF. Now, there was a woman on Oprah or Tyra Banks or one of those shows who was breast feeding her 8 year old.....that's a bit much for me, but if that's what you want to do, go for it. Ty is pretty much weaned, but I do still nurse him sometimes.

I haven't heard much debate about carseats, is it about turning them around too soon?

[Cataholic]

Turning them around too soon, putting 3 year olds in backless boosters, etc. Ohio has changed their law from a 4/40 to an 8/80 limit, and the masses are getting their backs up. Talks of government involvment, blah, blah, blah.

On TV last night (and, yes, I do know it is TV....)there was that show about Unexplained ER Trauma, or something. A 6 year old was in a normal seat belt, and thrown 100 or something feet (he recovered, thank God), and the mom made a comment about how she thought he was safe in his seat belt (the way many people do!). So, the carseat/booster debate gets pretty heated.

[JenBKR]

They did change it to 8/80 here too about 5 or six years ago. Seems like just about anything can be debated!

[Pembroke_Corgi]

I would highly recommend "Our babies, ourselves: How biology and culture shape the way we parent," by Meredith F. Small for anyone interested in learning more about this topic. It was fascinating! It discussed parenting in different cultures and one of the topics was co-sleeping.

I wish the book had been more neutral (the author tried, but you could tell which "side" she was on) but it did contain a lot of really interesting information. Based on what I learned through the book (and consequently through other research), I have decided to co-sleep with our baby, albeit in a bed right next to ours (you can buy co-sleepers that attach to the bed) simply because I would be afraid of squashing the baby and I don't think I'd get any sleep thinking about the possibility of it.

[Cataholic]

PC- sleep is awfully elusive in the beginning anyway. But, the comfort/knowledge that my little worm was within arms reach brought me alot of peace. In fact, I think one of those co-sleeper things is called "Arms reach" or something! And, you may change your mind/arrangement with time, too. Before birth, I was adamant that Jonah would sleep in a crib from moment one! We had to do a pit stop to the Toysrus on the way home from the hospital (with a broken bone in my pelvis, no less) cause I freaked out about him sleeping in a crib away from me! My thoughts changed so much after I had him. ")

What I did was remove all padding from my bed (I had a feather tick that I slept on), as well as all pillows but one- mine. I then built a barricade on the far side, which I later converted to the bed rail thing that Jonah has on his own bed right now. (When we slept at my fathers a few weeks ago, Jonah fell out of bed!)

I am a really light sleeper, and it was just he and I in bed. So, that worked for us, but, I can see a heavier sleeper, and a couple, wanting something a bit more distant.

[sparks19]

You know it's kind of funny.

I never co slept with Hannah but for months after she was born I would have nightmares that she WAS in bed with me and I was suffocating her or dropping her off the edge of the bed. Everynight I would have this dream.

I sleep with a stuffed animal (I know I know lol) and when I would start to wake from this dream I would think the stuffed animal was hannah.

was really freaky.

[Husky_mom]

I kinda co-slept...

for the first days I had him beside me in a crib/playpen type thingy... but I was constanlty checking him up to see if he was breathing.. then moved him into a bassinet and had it ON the bed... still on his "space" but closer... this was for a few weeks.... later on I moved him into his crib, once again right next to our bed.... this was for almost the whole year... then he had his own room... and once he had his bed (grown up twin bed) he has been sleeping in his onw bed in his own room...

[lizbud]

For what it's worth. Just today, yet another sad article.


http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=6719916&page=1