View Poll Results: Do you like the idea of a joke thread?

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    148 86.05%
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    24 13.95%
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Thread: joke thread

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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2000
    Location
    New York, NY
    Posts
    1,530
    It was raining heavily the day my friend Andy drove to a client's store to arrange a display. Next to the shop's entrance, he noticed a car with its driver ready to back out of the parking spot. He decided to wait so he could take her place.

    After ten minutes, however, he got a little impatient and tapped on the horn. The car still didn't move, and Andy finally drove to a spot much farther away. As he slogged passed the car on his way to the store, he scowled at the driver -- and was met by the blank stare of a German Shepherd sitting in the driver's seat!!!
    ~eLLeN~

    "Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened." ~~Anatole France~~

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Warner Robins/Statesboro Georgia
    Posts
    2,373
    cute one!
    http://209.25.252.221/PhotoX/ImageServer.psp?Cmd=RenderImage&I=://I1_1$\173000\173301\curr\6312248_20020920_161512_2 0020920161512.jpg

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Location
    Stockton, CA
    Posts
    8,683
    An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his painting that were on display. "I have good news and bad news," the owner replied.

    "The good news is that a gentlemen inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. I told him it would and he bought all fifteen of your paintings." "That's wonderful," exclaimed the artist, "What could be the bad news?"

    "The gentleman was your doctor."
    I'm sometimes asked "Why do you spend so much of your time and money talking about kindness to animals when there is so much cruelty to men?" I answer: "I am working at the roots." -George T. Angell, reformer (1823-1909)



    Thank you, Popcornbird for creating this tribute to Summer starring Livvy and Cassy

    Livvy: 11 April 99 - 5 July 09
    Cassy: 11 July 99 - 8 April 11

    If you would like to visit my BeautiConsultant page --
    http://www.beautipage.com/serene_angel_hm_spa/

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Warner Robins/Statesboro Georgia
    Posts
    2,373
    lol

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2000
    Location
    New York, NY
    Posts
    1,530
    LOL
    ~eLLeN~

    "Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened." ~~Anatole France~~

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    North Wales, UK.
    Posts
    11,880
    Delivering Lunch

    While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various
    appliances of old age, particularly the canes,
    walkers and wheelchairs.

    One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Long Island, NY, USA
    Posts
    3,367
    Ok, I got one, but no offense to the blondes!!

    A red-head walks into an Adult Novelties store and says to the man behind the counter, How much for that pink blouse? The man says, $25. She buys it and leaves. A brunnette walks in and says, How much for that purple blouse? The man says, $50. She buys it and leaves. Then a blonde comes in and stares up at the shelf, Ooooh, she says, How much for that shiny-silver blouse? The man says, $100 she buys it and leaves. Later the man's business partner returns and asked how things went, his partner replies, I sold a pink blouse for $25, a purple for $50, and your Coffee Thermos for $100!
    Mom to Ethan, Sophie and Sansa

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Santa Paula, CA
    Posts
    27,648
    LOL

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Location
    Stockton, CA
    Posts
    8,683
    During one "generation gap" quarrel with his parents young Michael cried, "I want excitement, adventure, money, and beautiful women. I'll never find it here at home, so I'm leaving. Don't try and stop me!"

    With that he headed toward the door. His father rose and followed close behind.

    "Didn't you hear what I said? I don't want you to try and stop me."

    "Who's trying to stop you?" replied his father. "If you wait a minute, I'll go with you."
    I'm sometimes asked "Why do you spend so much of your time and money talking about kindness to animals when there is so much cruelty to men?" I answer: "I am working at the roots." -George T. Angell, reformer (1823-1909)



    Thank you, Popcornbird for creating this tribute to Summer starring Livvy and Cassy

    Livvy: 11 April 99 - 5 July 09
    Cassy: 11 July 99 - 8 April 11

    If you would like to visit my BeautiConsultant page --
    http://www.beautipage.com/serene_angel_hm_spa/

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2000
    Location
    New York, NY
    Posts
    1,530
    LOL
    ~eLLeN~

    "Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened." ~~Anatole France~~

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    North Wales, UK.
    Posts
    11,880
    Kitchen Signs

    I'm creative; you can't expect me to be neat, too!

    Ring Bell for Maid Service. If no answer, do it yourself!

    You may touch the dust in this house, but please don't write in it!

    If you write in the dust, please don't date it!

    I would cook dinner, but I can't find the can opener!

    I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.

    If you don't like my standards of cooking, lower your standards.

    A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.

    Help keep the kitchen clean - eat out.

    Countless numbers of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.

    My house was clean last week; too bad you missed it!

  12. #12
    LoL these are too good!!

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Warner Robins/Statesboro Georgia
    Posts
    2,373
    lol

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Ohio, USA
    Posts
    19,879
    A man walking down the street noticed a small boy trying to reach the doorbell of a house. Even when he jumped up, he couldn't quite reach it.The man decided to help the boy, walked up on to the porch and pushed the doorbell. He looked down at the boy, smiled and asked, "What now?"
    The boy answered, "Now we run like crazy!"

    Huney, Bon & Simba-missed so very much
    Remembering all the Rainbow Bridge Pets

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jul 2000
    Location
    New York, NY
    Posts
    1,530
    bwahahahaha!!!!!!!!!
    ~eLLeN~

    "Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened." ~~Anatole France~~

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