Ingrid (1987-2005)

[Medusa]

Your friend is right. Matter cannot be destroyed. It only changes form. Ingrid is "somewhere", whether it be the Rainbow Bridge or wherever. She knew and still knows how much she was loved.

Blessings to you,
Mary and Puddy and the Fur Posse

[Barbara]

No you couldn't have done anything. Because mankind has to live with the fact that we'll die and everyone we love will die.

Whatever we do "right" cannot change that. One of my favorite sayings is "Relax- nothing is under control." Nature isn't- look at the floods and the fires.

I am sure Ingrid appreciated her life with you just as you did the other way round. That's happiness. And it only lasts a moment of eternity.

[Ingrid's dad]

Tomorrow I will probably adopt a cat.

It's been five weeks today since I buried Ingrid. And it's really lonesome around my house. Damn, but I miss Ingrid.

There were two cats who were littermates in a cage at my vet's office when I took Ingrid there the last time (for her ultrasound). A black short-haired male with copper eyes and a gray medium-haired female. I've stayed in touch with the staff there, and since late August the male has been adopted, so I'd imagine that the female is pretty lonely. Kind of puts us in the same boat.

But I want to avoid doing anything unfair, like expecting any other cat to be like Ingrid. And I will have to remember that a young cat is going to be pretty energetic and hard-charging, as opposed to how mellow Ingrid had become over the years. For instance, Ingrid learned about 15 years ago that I sleep really late on the weekend, and it's ill-advised to try and rouse me on a Saturday or a Sunday before I really want to get up. She used to go thundering across my bed, then act like "Oh--I didn't disturb you, did I?"

I just hope I'm not doing this too soon.

A friend of mine had a cat who got hit by a car, and within just a few days she adopted some kittens. Kate said that on the way home, she cried for her dead cat (who absolutely refused to be an indoor animal), but she knew the kittens would be great friends to one another and to her. They have been.

Ingrid was jet-black with lovely green eyes. She had just about the silkiest, most shiny coat of any black cat I have ever known.

The cat I'm probably going to adopt is female, like Ingrid, but she looks nothing like her. That's a good thing. If this goes okay, before long I might even get another for this cat to play with. The dynamic of two cats to keep each other company when I'm gone would be very different from a solo cat, which might also help me not compare her/them to Ingrid.

Cats' personalities are all very different. Just as different as one person can be from another. And I have been acquainted with lots of cats and dogs who were really much better people than most--well, that might be a little harsh; how about if we just say *many*?--of the humans I have known. [But that's a whole 'nother story--right?]

So if this kitty comes to live with me, I will need to get to know her and respect her and treat her right and let her be her own cat. . .just the same way that once upon a time, so long ago, I did that when Ingrid came into my life.

I cannot understand why the very thought of that would create such a huge lump in my throat and make my eyes burn. It's not like I have let Ingrid down or done anything disloyal to her. She always liked it better when I was happy than when I was sad. And I could tell very, very clearly that Ingrid was worried that she didn't want to leave me alone, and that she felt as if she was letting me down to be sick, and she wondered who would take care of me.

I'd like to tell one more story about Ingrid: From the time that she was a tiny kitten, her occasional baths in the tub (yup--in real water!) were deeply confusing for her. Just plain befuddling. This only happened about six times during her whole life, but she would stand up on her hind legs with her front legs resting on the side of the tub to watch the water flowing into the tub, and it was fascinating to her, and then she'd let me pick her up and put her in there, and she never flipped out or tried to fight me, and it was funny because I talked to her and told her what we were doing the whole time as I poured water over her and lathered up the flea shampoo, and she had trouble deciding what in the world was happening because she knew she wasn't supposed to like water, but obviously if she was standing in the water she was getting wet, and cats aren't into that stuff, but the hot water felt really good and she was getting lots of attention with body rubs and the whole bit, and it was almost more than she could take. A profound mystery.

I guess she trusted me that well. Oral meds? No, no, NO! <*NO!*> But a bath? She would tolerate it. She did okay. Last time we did that when it was time to rinse, I even ran the spigot and stuck Ingrid's little head under there a second. All she did was close her eyes and duck her head, then shake her head like a propeller and look at me like "Man! What the *hell* was that?"

Okay, by the time I took her out and rubbed her down with the towels, she had had about enough, and she woud growl to let me know that I was pushing my luck, but it was nothing personal. She never bit me then or put out her claws; she just had to offer her opinion on the whole subject, like "All right, now listen here, you: I'm losing my patience, and I think that bath night is just about over."

[Barbara]

Your bathing story made me smile What a good kitty. My heart kitty Filou would never accept pills. He has now chronic renal failure and has to see the vet weekly to get subcutaneous fluids. He accepts it - not really voluntarily but he keeps quiet at the vet's and when it's over he jumps into the carrier saying "And now we go home." I hope he stays some more years. He's only 9 now.

Filou and his brother Tigris are 100% different. Cats are personalities just like humans. That young cat will be different from Ingrid anyway and that's good because she may be a new love. In Cat General you can read about Tubby& Peanut's mom who lost Tubby after 19 years last December. She still misses him and thinks to seem him from the angle of her eyes. Which doesn't mean she wouldn't love CJ whom she adopted a month or so later. But loving CJ doesn't mean she misses Tubby less.

After my sweet Meo passed away 20 years ago I didn't want to adopt another cat for many years. At the end it became 15 years until Filou and Tigris came into my life. I missed a lot of fun and laughter. And I still think Meo was the sweetest little girl.

[Ingrid's dad]

Have you considered giving Filou his juice at home?

I NEVER would have thought that it could be as easy to do that as it turned out to be when Ingrid needed it. She made it very easy for both of us. Barely even flinched the first time I gave her an injection, and she actually got to where she purred when the fluids flowed in.

I'm not saying I like the needles and stuff, but what it came down to was that she needed the juice to ease her discomfort, so that was that, regardless of any aversion I might have had to poking a hole in my kitty's skin I was gonna try & see if she'd let me because she needed my help, and she let me. And it was MUCH, MUCH less traumatic than a vet visit. Less expensive, too.

If you look around, it is possible to get saline bags & the needles & everything online. This is generally a whole lot less expensive than going to the vet. Easier on the animals, too.

Then again if you cannot stand the idea of doing it yourself, so be it.

I'd like to refer you to this thread:

http://PetoftheDay.com/talk/showthre...threadid=87197

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

You write such loving interesting tails of your beloved Ingrid. I'm glad to hear you are opening your heart to another kitty, and possibly another one after that. I have two kitties - one male and one female - and I love the differences between the two and the different dynamics that each brings to our life.

As Barbara mentioned, I lost my Tubby boy last December and I was as upset about it all as you were/are about your Ingrid. However, I knew I had to get another kitty right away. Peanut - my female - is 17 so I knew I couldn't get a kitten who would terrorize Peanut to no end, and I was also unsure that I was ready for the antics of a kitten since it had been 18 years since I had to kitten proof my house. Therefore I chose to adopt an older cat. Cracker Jack is 7 so he is old enough to be settled down a bit, but is still young enough to be kittenish at times, and even though he's supposedly "older", he still terrorizes Peanut to no end.

You are right in that no two kitties are alike, and your new kitty will not only look different from Ingrid, she will act differently also. It will take time for you to get to know her as well as you knew Ingrid. If you think about it, you had many many many years to get to know Ingrid - and her you. It will take just as long with the new kitty. Sometimes CJ is so much like Tubby that I can't get over it, but then he goes and does something that is so totally not Tubby that I can't get over it, so it's just a matter of letting time take its course and us getting to know CJ and him getting to know us.

Like Barbara said, I miss Tubby terribly, and will 'til the day I die, but I know Tubby is happy that I have opened my heart to another kitty. I think Tubby would have liked CJ and if I have any regrets at all, it is that Tubby and CJ didn't have a chance to meet each other.

Good luck with your new sweety. You will both go through an adjustment period, but I'm sure that you will both learn to love each other as much as you and Ingrid once did.

[Barbara]

Thanks for the thread- yeah I know that it is possible. But Filou is not a mellow kitty. He is an Aby monkey and never stands still for a second.
At the moment ( we caught it kind of early) he has to go weekly for his fluids. Later in time I may try to administer them myself. I know that Medusa never thought it would work out with Puddy.
Filou has been a one-7,5lb cat-stampede this night I am happy that he is still so well.

I'll be gone for a week. I am curious to hear whether a kitty will have come to join you.

Another story: friends of ours had a cat, Maunzi, a tabby who passed away at the age of 18. At 14 she had survived a severe case of poisoning (she never left the garden and they never found out what happened) and still lived a good life until she was 18. They were desolate. As they were in their 70s they said they didn't want a cat anymore because they weren't sure how long they would live. They live downtown Munich- some single houses close to some 5-6 storeys. One day, a cat came through the window. It was a tabby boy and he asked whether the job was still available. They had no idea where he could have come from but asked everywhere and tried to find his owners. He was 6 or 7 years old- said the vet- and had been well taken care of, he was no stray. They never found anybody who missed him. He came and stayed.

[davidpizzica]

Ingrid's dad, I'm david p. I think we are a lot alike. I'm a 57 year old bachelor living in Pittsburgh. For 22 wonderful years I was lucky enough to be a companion to Thai a bluepoint Siamese. She was my soulmate, buddy, and confidante. I loved her dearly and I still do. She lived from 1981 to 2003. In the last two months of her life I saw her get weaker and weaker due to the effects of old age. The day before I made the heartwrenching decision to put her to sleep, I had to hold her up so she could get a drink of water. I let her go to the bridge on August 23, 2003. About two monthsn later, I went to Petco on adoption day and there I met Nikki (she's in my signature) a beautiful tuxedo kitty. I adopted her then and there when they said she was so shy and I was the only one she wasn't shy with! So, Ingrid's dad, I know exactly what you went through and I'm sure that Ingrid and Thai are playing together at the bridge.

[Ingrid's dad]

David--

Wow, man! 22 is like 104 human years! That's fabulous.

-----------------------------------

I made the plunge. Saturday I adopted a long-haired cat. First long-hair who has lived with me. (Cat, anyway.) She was born April 21.

Aside from being a spayed female who likes her tummy rubbed, she has nothing in common with Ingrid. That's good. It would be unfair to compare them.

It was just way too lonesome around my place without Ingrid. I'm always going to miss her, and I'll never know anyone else like her, but the pain is beginning to ease, and that is as it should be.

This cat is very timid. Still prefers to spend most of her time under the bed. But if I lie on the carpet down there, she'll usually come over & venture out. When she gets petted, she purrs really loud and does the kneading thing (without putting out her claws--and she has huge paws) and rolls over repeatedly.

She cannot settle down on the bed. I adopted her from my vet's office, and it may be that in the past when she was up on a prominent exposed and flat area, it usually involved a procedure. She won't fight or hiss or growl, but she'd rather be elsewhere.

She was the very last of the batches of kittens they had up for adoption at my vet's from the summer (which lasts well into the fall down here in Texas). So she has spent lots of time in cages, I think, and getting used to big open spaces, carpet, and the absence of sounds from other pets of all kinds in nearby rooms is kind of a mind-blower. Very different. I'm going to wait a few days or more before I open the two larger bedrooms.

Her brother was adopted out within the last few days. Otherwise she might be kinda nutty.

She had never seen a television before yesterday. Sorta flipped her out. It doesn't scare her any more, but when the sound is on it's too much to handle and she has to go hide.

Also she had never seen a mirror before. I wish I had the dance she did there on videotape. The other cat was really fast in matching her every movement. But it didn't growl at her or hiss or try to fight.

I got her on the bed a little last night before lights-out, and she purred, but she had to get down. She even jumped up once or twice, but got down immediately. This morning when I turned on the light, she was beside the bed looking up at me, and her first reaction was to run back under the bed & peek out at me. Then as I showered up before I left for work, she dashed up & down the hall.

Wonder what she'll be up to today?

I know she can speak, because she cried real softly when I was carrying her from the vet's office out to my car, but other than that she hasn't said a word. Purrs really loud, and when I was patting the bed trying to get her to jump up there, she looked up at me and mouthed a meow but no sound came out.

She sneezes a lot. And wheezes. It doesn't slow her down, but I've gotta find out what's up with that. Maybe an asthmatic.

Unless you see her in direct sunlight, she's all gray topside, white on the bottom of her tail & her tummy. Copper eyes.

Her name will be Matilda. Lends itself to "Mattie" or "Millie" or "Tilly." Her coat makes her an easy "Fluffy."

Ingrid will always be my one and only Sweetie.

It sure will be nice to have somebody waiting for me when I get home.

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

I'm so glad you took the plunge!

Matilda sounds like a little doll, and I bet she has some Maine Coone in her. They are known to be big cats and they are also known for their tiny voices. My Peanut is either part Maine Coone or part Norwegian Forest Cat, and she sqeaks more than she meows - so adorable - and she has done the "mouthing" thing (open mouth but no sound) quite often and she is just adorable when she does it.

I'm sure that within a few days Matilda will be up on the bed and sleeping with you and she will have made your entire place her domain with no more hiding.

She sounds like a complete love and I'm so happy for both of you.