my parents.. suck.

[Suki Wingy]

I would be SO upset!! Before I found PT my parents banned me from all computers when I wasgetting two Ds and an F.
Now I am getting an A or two, a few Bs a C, and one D. The D is in math, Algebra 1 to be exact. I go into every test and quiz thinking I know everything and then somehow always get a 60% or something. I am alowed on the Internet/Computer now because my parents know I am TRIYING MY HARDEST and going into the resourse center for math all the time. I think as long as you really try, you should never be punished. After all, you are doing your best!

[christa]

Originally posted by Edwina's Secretary
Every generation has said..."my parents don't understand me!"...my parents don't understand what it is like to be a kid today!" And it is true. But it doesn't mean today, or yesterday or the day before it was any easier...nor any harder.

Life after school is all about expectations being set and results measured....in employment and in relationships for that matter.

And frankly, I think it is that lack of responsiblity and lack of accountability that makes being a kid today "so hard." Getting an education is YOUR JOB and there are consequences in life for doing or not doing what is expected of you.

Very well stated . . . and something that needed to be said!

[Kfamr]

Logan, you have no need to worry of my future. Just because i'm not a straight A student like your daughter does not mean i'll be a failure in the future. I have goals and dreams and I WILL fulfill em, no matter my education.

[cali]

wow kay, I think you would do well at my school, most of the teachers are great, and are like best friends to the students if people are failing they realize they are doing something wronge and ask the class what we think they should do to make it better. some of the teachers are crappy but with others I do really well, for example in grade 9 I barley passed math with that teacher, in grade 10 I have a doffernt teacher and had an 82% in grade 11 and now 12 I have had this one teacher is is just amazing, she always showed us easier ways of doing things and almost everybody passed with 85% and above, and there is no passing you just because at my school, they do not allow that. I have a differnt math teacher now math 30C, she is also a good teacher, and even though I need the class for nothing whatsoever, exept a filler, I am getting through easy, math has always been my absolute worst subject ever. for history/SS in elementry I was just barly above an F litterally, in grade 9 I had a 62%, grade 10 with a differnt teacher, 82%, grade 11 with another new teacher, 60%, now grade 12 with the same teacher as grade 10 and I am finding things really easy. English I had A's in elemtry school, highschool? my highest I think is a 78% and that was last report card, my normal english grades are between 52% and 73% , sciance I did well in in elemtary school, in high school I was ALWAYS very bottom in the class, I could work on a project for litterly months and would still get the lowest marks in the class while people who did theirs overnight are getting invited to national fairs lol and I am not exadurating, I LOVED science, it was my favorite subject, highschool made me throw my dream out the window for good. a pass is 50% here if a passing grade was 70% I would be in summer school every year.

[aly]

My parents expected straight A's from me and were disappointed with B's. Even as early as 1st or 2nd grade, they had pressure on me. It was so annoying, but I am very appreciative that they did that. Because of them, I was able to be in all Honors and AP (college) classes in juinor high and high school and graduate with straight A's. They also gently nudged me to belong to school organizations and sports. It all greatly prepared me for college and I was so grateful to be accepted to every single college I applied to and have a choice of where I went.

I hated to see my parents so disappointed when I didn't do good so that made me try harder. They weren't slave drivers or anything, but they did (and still do) have high expectations for me.

I was annoyed by it a lot while I was growing up, but I am thankful for it today. It wasn't TOO long ago that I was in school so I know how hard it is. My heart goes out to all you teenagers and preteens who are going through parental issues. Just remember they love you and want the best for you (in most cases anyway )

[meowmieto2kitties]

I am a parent and I don't expect all A's from my kids...as long as I know they are doing their best,,I don't expect anything more than that...I hate putting pressure on kids like that...

[animal_rescue]

bckrazy, sorry your parents are like that. I do wish I had your grades though, I'm a C average student!

I hate when my mom pressures me! Gah, my last report card was awful, no I just want to quit High School, no matter though my parents won't let me.

[slleipnir]

I don't get it. Just cause you're not a straight A student does not mean your life is ruined? I know of a lot of people who didn't do well in school and didn't go to college/university and they have wonderful jobs and care very bright people.

Education is VERY over estimated, and it makes me sick. We go to college because society tells it it's what we need to do to make a go at life. My dad repeated tells me I don't NEED to go to university. He says I should do what I love even if it's not the best paying job.

Don't be a sheep if you don't want to

[aly]

Its true that you can be very successful without a college education, but it does open up TONS of doors for you. Most jobs do require certain degrees. Having a good education with good grades just makes success that much easier. Its not to say you CAN'T be successful without it though.

[Logan]

Originally posted by Kfamr
Logan, you have no need to worry of my future. Just because i'm not a straight A student like your daughter does not mean i'll be a failure in the future. I have goals and dreams and I WILL fulfill em, no matter my education.

Kay, my last comment was in no way directed at you, specifically. All I said was that since my daughter has proven that she can be a straight A student, she has set our expectations at that level, and she hasn't had to work terribly hard to maintain that status. So for her to bring home lower grades would mean that she needs to put a little more effort into it. That's all I was saying. Next year, when she starts high school, it could all change. If she worked really hard and couldn't achieve straight A's, I wouldn't fault her for that at all! I think I got straight A's once in my whole life, in the 4th grade!!

It's those who don't seem to care that worry and upset me the most because I know they are caring, bright people and are capable of doing well. Yes, that includes you because I believe you to be one of the brightest, most caring and most outstanding young people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.

I know I'm an "old lady" and I'm coming from a mother's point of view in this. But I've lived it and I just know that although it isn't a popular view, having a college diploma will help in the future for all of you. I don't even do what I studied for a living now, but having that diploma opened some doors for me that otherwise would not have been opened. It is certainly not a necessity, but I do believe it helps. I'll shut up now, but hope I gave a little more insight into where I'm coming from.

[CathyBogart]

Nothing in life says that you have to have a four year degree to be a success. One of my best friends has never gone to college, but because he is intelligent and skilled makes $80,000 a year doing what he loves.

I would like to have a four year degree eventually...but I'm setting my own pace, and doing it slower than most people. My parents may not be thrilled with this, but I am. I have realistic goals that make me challenge myself but not stress or burn myself out. If it takes me a few extra years to meet those goals, big deal!

I am using that time to save money, and enjoy myself.

Now then, I'm off to study for my anthropology project...

[Samantha Puppy]

Originally posted by Kfamr
Teachers are MORE than willing to fail students. I've even had teachers say, while kids were failing.. "Oh well, I get paid either way".. And when a child is failing, maybe by .1%, they'll still fail them. They let them fall asleep in class everyday, even refuse to give them make-up work when they've been out.

The teachers may be saying that to rile those around them (though I know there are bad eggs out there, I'm not saying all teachers are saints). However, like numbers matter to you (60% on a test, etc.), numbers matter to teachers too. If they have a steady number of failures in their classes every year it doesn't reflect poorly on the children, it reflects poorly on the teacher. Their pay could be docked, they could be required to take refresher courses, etc. So while I'm not saying I don't believe some teachers out there don't care and would say that, I have to believe that most of them care enough about a steady income and respect among their colleagues to let it happen often.

I know parents want what's best for their children, but taking away things that make them happy is NOT helpful. AS A CHILD who experiences crap like this on a day to day basis, with her father, being angry because of grades DOES NOT HELP. It makes me feel worthless and as if no matter what I do ( and I TRY my hardest) will never be good enough. It makes you feel like scum.
I've never personally settled with a D or F. I always try to get atleast a C, and when I do i'm especially proud of myself. B's and A's are like trophies for me. when I get them i'm very happy. D's and F's? I'm upset, especially after trying my hardest.. and after beating myself up over it, I do NOT need anyone else doing it for me, especially people who are "so understanding" like my parents.

And that's where a happy medium must be found. To be honest, my parents were a lot like yours sounds. If I tried my absolute best and did everything I possibly could to prepare for a test and still came home with a D or F, I didn't get in trouble. They signed it, talked to me about why I didn't do well (like you, I was a horrible test-taker), and told me that they were proud of me for trying. It was the tests that I'd bring home to have them sign, that they had no knowledge of (which meant I hadn't prepared) that I got in trouble over. And rightfully so, looking back - though at the time I thought they were horrible and not the least bit understanding and mean. Eventually, I got it through my thick skull that I didn't like it when that happened so by mid-sophomore year, I studied for my tests.

No, my parents will never understand what it's like to be a child going to school, my school especially, if they never listen. Listening is key in a relationship, between anyone. You've got to listen to the other side, and after you've listened you've got to be helpful.

You're right - listening is the key to any relationship, BUT! (and you knew that was coming ) - it goes both ways. As much as you (generally, not YOU personally) may not want to hear what your parents have to say, you owe it to them. And unfortunately, until you're legally an adult, you kinda have to do what they say. Is it always right? No. Is it always fair? Nope. But that's life and you'll get over it.

Not everyone has to live life in a sky-rise executive building with a shiney BMW in the parking garage.

I agree, and that's not at all what I meant by your parents wanting better for you than they had. You won't understand a parents' love until you are a mother yourself. Heck, I'm not a mom yet and I'm starting to understand but I won't know totally until I have a baby. But I can tell you that last month, when I had the slightest suspicion that I *could* be pregnant, everything was different. I can't explain how, and maybe one day you'll experience that and understand, but that suspicion gave me a little tiny view into how a mother's love is. I don't mean that parents want their kids to be rich. What I mean is that to create a child out of love, to nurture it in your womb for 9 months, to raise that child - teach it, love it - to watch that child grow up and little by little, become less and less dependant on you is difficult. And parents want to make sure that after they're gone, their child will be okay. That's what I meant. It's hard to explain and probably hard for you to comprehend but again, give it time. You'll eventually get it.

I think about my future all the time. I discuss it with my parents all the time.

Good. Keep it up. Seriously.

NO ONE will know what it's like for a specific person to go through highschool, unless you are that person.
...
Every person's different.. every person learns differently.. Teacher's in general don't care. I've had maybe, 3 or 4 teachers in my whole highschool career who actually gave somewhat of a damn. That's 3 or 4 out of around 24+. Guess what? I passed their classes with A's everytime.

True, but in actuality, the names may be different but the situations play over in our world time and time again. Notice when someone posts a problem on here. How many people reply to that thread with something similar to "Hey, something like that happened to me and here's how I dealt with it..." Lots! So yeah, while the school experience is different for everyone... it isn't so much so. Again, you'll see it more when you're my age and you hear people who are 15, 16 complaining about the same sort of stuff you did at that age. (It's actually pretty funny.)

As for the teacher thing, I'm with you in that I did MUCH better with teachers who gave a damn. In fourth grade, I was doing so well in math I was moved into the most advanced class. In fifth grade, I had a horrible teacher, wouldn't take the time to explain it to people who didn't get it *LIKETHAT*. That woman ruined my math career UNLESS I was lucky enough to get a teacher who cared. From 6th to 11th grade (I didn't take a math my senior year), it happened twice. Those years, I got Bs and Cs in math. Otherwise, it was usually Ds and only Ds because my teachers knew that I was trying my best. So I agree, the teacher makes all the difference. I wish more of them realized that.

I'm horrible with tests. I could sit there and answer questions all day, but when it comes time to take the test.. I freeze up, get nervous. 99.9% of that is because i'm pressured into getting the best grade possible, not the grade that I AM capable of doing.
I'd understand if the child was getting into trouble on a daily basis, doing bad things, using drugs, ect.. But i'm not that type of child and I feel I should get support no matter if I get 100% A or 60% F, but instead I get pressured into things i'm sometimes not capable of doing.

Kay, you sound almost just like me. I was horrible at tests too - especially math and science. I would study for eons and think I had it down, but when the test was in front of me it was like I never prepared at all. None of the questions seemed to be the same type I'd studied. It is very discouraging to spend a week or two weeks or whatever, studying your heart out and still only pull out a C or even worse, a D. I know that disappointment all too well. I never claimed to be a straight A student. Not even close. But you're not the only person with those problems and teachers, no matter what you think, actually DO realize that. Most of them, anyway.

You are a very bright person, Kay. You're very well spoken and have shown time and time again your intelligence. Any parent would be proud to have a daughter like you. Just remember that one day though, you'll have a kid and your hopes and dreams for them will be out of this world (and again, I'm not talking money) and all you want is what's best for them.

Hope I haven't bored you too much.

[carole]

I am a mother too,but my views differ from Logan's,. I would never expect A's from my child, as long as she is putting in a good effort and trying hard, I would be more than happy with that.

Your grades certainly seem ok with me, maybe you could improve on the C but other than that, sounds like you have tried hard, I believe it is not fair to put unreal expectations on your child, having top grades is not the most important thing in life.,.far from it.

From my point of view they are being a tad harsh, but you are their child and it is up to them to do as they see fit, sometimes one can push your child too hard with horrible end results, one should give the best they can, and be given praise for doing so IMO.

[Cincy'sMom]

Originally posted by Kfamr

I don't care if they had to "walk 5 miles in the snow with one shoe on",

Hey, I had to walk uphill, both ways, in 18 inches of snow to college!!! Gotta love Cincinnati...hills everywhere

Sorry, I have been waiting to use that since the day it happened.

All through high school, I was basically a staight A student. I got one B, in Algebra II, my freshman Year. But boy...college was a different story...

It is hard to generalize, what are good grades. Some people. learn differntly, and have differnt skills then others. As long as you are trying your best and work to your ability, that is what matters. The important thing, is to figure out what you enjoy, and are good at, and really apply yourself to those things.

[KYS]

posted by aly:Its true that you can be very successful without a college education, but it does open up TONS of doors for you. >>>>>>>>>>

I agree with the above statement.

If I had to do it over................
I wish I had DRIVE when I was in school.
I would have finished college and had a much
wider choice of jobs than the one I have now.