Thursday Dale Jarret......#88!!

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by Pit Chick
Hey bartender,

Tequila shot with a crown and coke chaser over here.

DONE!!!!


Hey, what's that reptile doing the men's bathroom?

Catland,

Of course...I was gonna wait until someone else asked..

K9,
LIT.....DONE!

Weather????

Let me check the weather gauge.......

LOL

the old joke about the piece of string hanging off the porch.

I think it goes something like this...

A salesman walks up to the porch and spies a man in a rocking chair intently staring at a piece of string hanging from one of the rafters at the end of the porch.

The salesman introduces himself and asks the man what he is doing..

"Why, I'm gettting the weather forecast!"

"The weather.........how can you get the weather forecast from a piece of string???"


"Easy,
If it's swinging, it windy,
It it's wet, it's rainy,
It it's frozen, it's snowing,
It it's warm, it's sunny......"

[Pit Chick]

Originally posted by RICHARD
Hey, what's that reptile doing the men's bathroom?

He's draining the lizzard.

[Lady's Human]

Barkeep, how about a flaming Dr Pepper and a bottle of champagne to take tot he new house with me tomorrow?

[dukedogsmom]

I just came back to see that link, Richard. Thanks! Here's my truck of choice.
http://www.monstertruckracing.com/bo...oogeyvan20.jpg(pic won't show up so you have to click link)
The Boogey Van. This is going to be fun! I'll have to get a ladder or something for Duke so he can get in, too.
Pit Chick: There's plenty of gators down here. I could wrangle one for you. Maybe I'll have a pair of boots from him.

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by Pit Chick
He's draining the lizzard.

LOLOLOL,

I have been thinking about a Thursday's Comedy room....

LH,

Sure!!!

Just need to see your Fire Insurance papes!!!

New Baby and a New House.....Me thinks you have hit the Lotto of Life!!!

Flaming DP and ----Dom O.K. for you?

Done!

P.S.

Friends of mine made a scrap book of the First Week in
the New House.......Menus, pics, funny stories.....it's a blast to put together and look at after you get settled!!

DDM,
Can't open that link but have seen the truck before......

Milk crates and what about the Doogster???

----------------------------------------------

Speaking of moving....

I was moving in with a roomie. My brother got me some file boxes to put stuff in....they were all the same size, but really handy!

when I moved out I carefully packed my toiletries in a box. Razor, soap, shampoo and small towels....

All the boxes went into the front room- so when I woke up the next morning I could jump into the shower and go to work.


I wake up and realize I have to pull the tops off of 45 boxes, all the same without labels......After about 45 minutes I am tired
of peeking moving and peeking and moving....

I jump into the shower and there is no hot water.....


I made to to work.....no toothbrush, paste, comb, roll on.....

I left early to unpack......

Moral of the story?

Don't move or label your boxes!!!!

-------------------------------------

Here's a military joke.
An Army Ranger was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana and he wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes. He was, however, reluctant to pay the high prices the vendors were asking.

The Ranger eventually said to one of the shopkeepers, "Maybe I'll just go out and get my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes made at a reasonable price!"

The vendor said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you will run into a couple of Marines who were in here earlier saying the same thing."

The Ranger went into the bayou. He came upon two men standing waist deep in the water. He thought, "Those must be the two Marines."

The Ranger saw a huge gator swimming underwater towards one of the Marines. Just as the gator was about to attack, the Marine grabbed its neck and strangled it to death with very little effort. The Marines dragged it on shore and flipped it on its back near a pile of dead gators.

One of the Marines exclaimed, "Darn, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

[dukedogsmom]

That link was just missing the g on the end of it. I've heard that joke before only it was a blond, instead. Going to say an early goodnight. This cold has me wiped out. I'll check in sometime tomorrow to see what kind of trouble everyone has gotten into.

[Corinna]

Hey I have had sigle digit days and double minus nights for 2 weeks. I thibnk I'll have a hot cocoa tonight I need help sleeping and it was along day. Had to go buy a new car for hubby and Mine is still in the shop. So I had to have the boy drive the old 1975 suburban( I can't reach the pedals ) He still makes me nervous driving only had his license for 2 1/2 years.

[Pit Chick]

I told him not to go swimming there. There goes my shoes and matching bag.



http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6782513/

MIAMI - A 12-foot alligator weighing more than 400 pounds and described as among the largest ever caught near downtown Miami was hoisted from a creek Monday by a firetruck. The alligator was discovered in Wagner Creek, about 16 miles from the Everglades, in the shadows of two major hospital complexes and around the corner from the Veteran's Affairs Medical Center, a court house, a county jail and government office buildings. It was "about the last place you'd expect to see an alligator of any size," said licensed trapper Todd Hardwick. Alligators are much more common in suburban canals and lakes.

[lbaker]

What was he doing wearing your shoes and carrying your purse? On his way to Key West maybe

[momoffuzzyfaces]

HI, EVERYONE!

We were blessed and still have our power - no e-mail - but I can deal with that!

It's even warmed clear up to 15 degrees! I need to go see about getting the car doors open. I'm not going anywhere, I just don't like not being able to if I want!

Could I have a refill on my hot chocolate? and the kids need their catnip teas refilled too. I have some chocolate chip cookies and will share!

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by dukedogsmom
That link was just missing the g on the end of it. I've heard that joke before only it was a blond, instead. Going to say an early goodnight. This cold has me wiped out. I'll check in sometime tomorrow to see what kind of trouble everyone has gotten into.

I hope you are feeling better!

Corrina,

Hot cocoa and a stick to hit the gas pedal....that's the only pedal you need! DONE!

PC,
Reptiles close to the courthouse and jail don't surprise me!!

MOFF,
Hot choco and 4 CNTs

DONE!

[momoffuzzyfaces]

Car door opened! Car started and warmed up. Even though the poor thing shook for a while!

Now I have a pot of turkey bean soup warming on the stove. It's like ham and bean but with turkey. YUMMY!
Yes, Mario, I'll share but you need to sit with your back to an open window. You tend to put on airs after eating beans.

[Pit Chick]

Originally posted by lbaker
What was he doing wearing your shoes and carrying your purse? On his way to Key West maybe

Too many Tequila shots.

[K9soul]

Are there any drinks out there that make you feel like getting back to work after lunch break?

[lbaker]

Unfortunately there are probably more drinks that make you want to go back to lunch break than go back to work vroooom vrooom! Hey MOFF, that soup done yet? How about some buttermilk bisquits to go with it! YUMMY! Mario, you have pizza cheese all over yourself, here - use this wash cloth