Is she stupid????

[Fox-Gal]

Just an idea that a friend did when she was having problems with her son.

She got wind chimes and hung them on his door knob after he went to bed everynight. There was no way he could open the door without them ringing. Oh, she made sure they where the big loud ones, hung 3 on his door. She was dead set on knowing when he opened that door. LOL

Now my brother has these talking door alarms, on his younger childrens door for when they get up in the middle of the night. His one daughter sleep walks, so this way they hear her.

At least this way, maybe, your husband wont have to sleep on the couch till you solve this problem.

good luck to you.

[Karen]

Do you have a cot you could sleep on that you could reposition so it blocks her doorway?

What does she say when you ask why she was sneaking out?
How dumb does she think you and her dad are?
Why does she think you object to her sneaking out?
Any community service programs you could involuntarily enroll her in, so she's too exhausted to sneak out? Maybe some program helping the handicapped, or ministering to AIDS patients, or anything that might both help other people and make her see her own life isn't so awful? "If you log x-hundred hours at community sservice, we'll let you take you license exam ..."

Hmmmm - military school? Just kidding on that one ...

What does she want to do with her life after high school?

Just saw the idea above mine: I have a rope of bells Aunt Bertha used to hang on the cellar door, in case a burgular tried to get in through the basement - wanna borrow it?

[shais_mom]

Originally posted by ramanth
I'm sorry she's stressing you out.

I was never that brazen as a teen. I had a respectable fear of my parents and what would happen if I got caught.

meeeeee tooooo!!!
My parents had it GREAT!!!

[shais_mom]

Originally posted by Karen


Hmmmm - military school? Just kidding on that one ...

actually one of our ER docs has sent his son to a militiary school and he said it is awesome for his kid....

[shais_mom]

also I am certainly certainly certainly (did I say certainly) not suggesting that she is doing drugs at alllllllllll but another scare tatic is at our hospital parents can bring their kids in for a drug test. I know a coworker who caught her teenage (at the time) son with a joint she brought him out there and I don't believe she ever had a problem with that again. Might be worth calling the local hospital to see if they have the same policy.....

[kt_luvs_kitties]

I do not mean to add onto the problem, but have you also contacted her school for them to keep an eye out to make sure she shows up everyday, and that she stays for all of her classes? My mother is a teacher, and she knew all of my teachers personally (she worked with them all at different times) now she only worked 2-3rd grade, but she always got contacted by them if I missed any days/classes. BUT I was thinking, if you guys do keep a close eye on her, she MIGHT think about other times to sneak out/away, and that could be just as bad. You could also go and personally talk to all of her teachers, and get either a weekly report or ask to see her old progress reports with her missing days on them. And when she does miss a day or a class, have them call you IMMEDIATLY. Hope this idea works for you dont worry, it will all work out. *HUGS* Katie

[aly]

I think instead of your husband sleeping on the couch, she should sleep on the floor in your room. Talk about punishment.. hehe.

[mruffruff]

For who, though?

I had the same thing happen with my daughter 24 years ago. She would climb out the window and attend drinking parties. I never found a cure.

I really feel for you.

I like the bells on the door knob. As long as the bedroom isn't on the first floor, it just might work.

Mary

[catnapper]

Thanks so much everyone! Its been a long hard week. I've not been sleeping well becuase EVERY sound I hear makes my ears strain to hear more. Add to little sleep the fact that I've been painting the house all week, my muscles ache, my head aches, and all I want is a solid night of sleep!

My daughter was attitude cental last night. And our son came home from school saying he asked around and there's rumors that she's been slipping out at least one night a week for a while. I feel so used and like she's taking us for fools... and what gets me even more than that is now that we found out about her little nocturnal feild trips, that she is denying it so much! How stupid does she think we are? As parents, we have been very trusting and letting them make their own choices. We are not strict at all and they actually have it pretty good. If she has it so good, WHY is she pushing the boundaries and trying to make her good little life go away? She has to know that if she pushes us, that we are goign to push back.

Karen, two summers ago, she got caught shoplifting, and we made her do community service at the nursing home. I think we should give them another call and see if they could use her services when she's not working at her job, in school, or swimming. I want to make her so busy that at night, when she goes to bed, she's going to need a forklift to pry her head from the pillow.

[micki76]

Originally posted by catnapper
As parents, we have been very trusting and letting them make their own choices. We are not strict at all and they actually have it pretty good. If she has it so good, WHY is she pushing the boundaries and trying to make her good little life go away? She has to know that if she pushes us, that we are goign to push back.

Maybe she wants more boundaries? All kids are different.

[catnapper]

She has boundaries, but we let them decide things for themselves. We are also VERY open with our kids and they know they can come to us with anything (and trust me, we have had them approach us with some doozies of situations) but my oldest daughter generally doesn't take advantage of that open forum and feels the need to sneak around. We have told her time and time again that she can come to us with ANYTHING and we'd deal with it, but if she lies and hides things, then we will not react well because we want open dialog.

We definately have boundaries and the kids all know where the line is to cross... and she's just crossed it. They know that ocne they cross the line then there will be punsihments issued and work to be done. Our main thing to them is honesty... tell us the truth and we will make thigns right. Lie to us and then youre in deep trouble. She has consistently lied to us for as long as I've known her (since she was 12)and hubby warned me when I met her that she was a liar. (I am the "evil" step mom)

We have expectations for them and the all work within their expectations - all except her. I swear she has that middle child syndrome where she feels inferior compared to her younger sister and older brother. I don't know why she feels this way, but she aparently must.

[lovingisliving76]

What about trying out a baby monitor? You could hide it near the door she leaves out of or even somewhere very close to her bedroom door. Or you could use a webcam that is activated by movement and automatically begins recording. Have it pointed towards wherever it is she leave thru. She can't lie when you have her on video! I have a logitech webcam that came with software that activates your cam thru motion detection. I've used it to see what my dogs did all day while I was at work. You can even have it set up to where you can check in on it from a computer at work etc. Just a couple idea's I thought I'd share. Good Luck

[Kfamr]

She sounds like one of those kids in my school that i'd just love to smack upside the face.
I hate hearing the kids in my school talk about how they snuck out and got caught, but tried again the next night.

I'm not sure why she's doing it, or why she feels the need to lie about it. I do know that she sounds just like my sister when she was that age. My parents just ran through the teen years with my sister, until she eventually grew up. Well, I wouldn't say she grew up, she's still pretty immature, but she's a lot better than she was, and she's pretty successful at the age of 23.

[NoahsMommy]

Kim,

You and your situation are on my mind. I really hope she'll see that she has it good and the only thing that sneaking out will do will diminish trust and get her into all forms of trouble.

I love the ideas so far. It sounds like she needs to be retaught the rules of the house. I love Staci's idea. You can come from the perspective of "kids who sneak out do drugs, have sex and drink, therefore, we're getting you drug tested, do we need to test for other things too??" Once she realizes that only a "child" behaves this way, and thus will be treated like one, maybe she'll want to act mature and be honest.

The bells/chimes on her door are another great idea!

How did hubby do on the couch last night?

[catnapper]

Hubby decided to sleep in bed last night. He is giving her one last try before he does that (I know, BIG pushover, and big sap for giving her the benefit of the doubt)

I didn't hear anything, but am utterly exhausted from sleeping with my ears listening for any small sound.