Tomorrow morning is THE court date for my daughter.

[DrKym]

Kim,

I am thinking of you, and praying for you. If you haven't already read it, a book I reccomend to many of my clients is 'When Bad things happen to good people". Although I do not endorse all of the book, there is some very good information in it. It may bring some peace and clarification, many hugs.

Kym

[kuhio98]

Originally Posted by pitc9
Exactly!!!
Wow... what a WITCH!!!!

Many {hugs} to you!

Ahem, we witches aren't all bad!

Some of us are rather pleasant

I could be wrong, but I interpreted the posting to mean:

Exactly!!! (Meaning, I agree with everything you said)
Wow... what a WITCH!!!!! (meaning the judge who felt the need to make a bad situation worse)

[cassiesmom]

Ahem, we witches aren't all bad!

Some of us are rather pleasant

Hey Dr. G., have you seen "Wicked"? Kim, I've read the book "When bad things happen to good people" and I hope that if you read it, you'll find it helpful. I just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you again today. [hug]

[rg_girlca]

I truly appreciate all of the support, words of comfort and prayers from my PT friends, it truly means a lot to me. I'm very sorry for dragging you all through this fiasco for so long. Like I said, I am so ashamed and absolutely devastated right now. I won't trouble you all any more.

Dear Kim, you are NOT dragging us down in any way my dear. You came to your PT friends for support, advice, hugs and whatever else to help you get through this terrible situation. We may not all have the right words to say, but we sure can give prayers and {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}
I know right now you are devasted and you have every right to be, but whether you realize this or not, "YOU NEED US RIGHT NOW!!!"
You NEED to get your feelings out. You NEED to vent. You NEED the love and support from your friends.

After ALL that you and your hubby have done for Amy Beth, it still boggles my mind how she just walks all over you guys and doesn't seem to show any appreciation at all. I truely understand that she is your daughter and that you just cannot turn your back on her, but Kim, enough is enough. How much more heartache do you think you can handle. You've been helping her for years now and each time she stabs you in the back. It's time to put your foot down and mean what you say. Like, "I have been humiliated and shamed by my daughter for the LAST time" and "We are "only" paying her $450.00/month rent for the next two months and then the purse strings will be CUT!!!."

I know this is going to be very hard on you Kim, but it is starting to affect your health and remember this, you have a lot of people around you who DO care and LOVE you, so please, take time for yourself and take care.

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

[kimlovescats]

Amy Beth showed up at my door this afternoon. I sat and listened to all of the details of the day. Her charges for filing the false report were dropped, and her child neglect was re-worded as simple child neglect and she was given 11 months 29 days probation and ordered to take parenting classes.

As for the child custody case on Jenna, Denise was given temporary custody but only until the next appointed court appearance sometime in May. ( I don't remember the date.) During the time until that date, Chad and Amy Beth can neither one take Jenna anywhere and can only have supervised visitation with her. They each are also going to have to pay child support to Denise and take parenting classes for I think 8 weeks and also family and individual counselling. IF they accomplish those tasks by the next court date, then they will most likely get Jenna back. Right now, I find it very hard to believe that they can accomplish all of those things in that amount of time. I am trying to put it out of mind, but I already find myself thinking of advice to give her on what to do first and how and ... and ... and..... !!! It is just so hard to stop THINKING for your child when you have done it for 22 years. I wish so badly that hubby and I could just pack up and move away.

Oh, for those who have (like me) thought that Denise was being so nice to me, well I also found out today that she told Chad that she was only trying to get Jenna, to keep Amy Beth or ME from getting her. WHy? Because we are both crazy! Right now at this very moment, I'm not sure if I will even try to see Jenna for a while. I don't know how much more I can take, how much more personal attack I can withstand. My ex-husband ruined what little self-esteem I had when he drug me through court over our two daughters. He tormented and berated me for years and still hasn't stopped. I cannot throw myself into the fire for persecution any more. I had some very self-destructive thoughts on the way home from that courtroom today. Thank God for my loving husband and my daughter Amanda, who are the two people on this Earth who still make my life feel worth living.

[Catty1]

What a beating you have taken!

If you want custody of Jenna, what sort of case would you have to present? Denise's saying you and Amy Beth are "crazy" is slanderous.

I am glad that Amy Beth and Chad are being forced into counselling. And good for you for staying away from advice giving, though you must have bitten your tongue for a good long while.

I don't imagine those courses will be any picnic. And if her probation is efficient, AB will be accountable for what she says and does.

HUGS, Kim. I hope you can relax for a few days, and let the worst of it wash away.

More prayers going to you...

[jennielynn1970]

My ex-husband ruined what little self-esteem I had when he drug me through court over our two daughters. He tormented and berated me for years and still hasn't stopped. I cannot throw myself into the fire for persecution any more. I had some very self-destructive thoughts on the way home from that courtroom today. Thank God for my loving husband and my daughter Amanda, who are the two people on this Earth who still make my life feel worth living.

I just wanted to give you some "words of wisdom" that someone had passed on to me... I often blamed my ex that I lived with and was verbally and physically abused by for the time I was with him.

I have the following quote posted in many places, and also at work, because even there, there are certain people you work with that just try to bring you down.

Eleanor Roosevelt was an amazing woman, and I love this quote:
No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.

It's something to remember... You need to believe in yourself. You have to be your own cheerleader, and know that you are a wonderful person and have all the potential in the world. Don't let others make you feel like crap. Know that the ones that do do that, are the ones who feel crappy about themselves to begin with and the old saying "misery loves company." It is so true.

Be good to yourself. Don't be an enabler to your daughter. She's preying on your "motherly instincts", and is using your sentiments for her own well-being without any thought of how she is slowly destroying you. I know it is hard, but you have to look after yourself at this point. She's an adult now, and is responsible for her own actions and cannot be allowed to blame anyone else, or make others feel responsible for her. That is extremely manipulative. Shame on her for doing that to her mother. It also doesn't sound like Denise has the best interests of the child at heart either. Another spiteful person doing something to make others feel inadequate. I'm sure she'll be easy on her son and let him see Jenna when he wants. As horrible as it sounds, a foster placement might be the best thing for Jenna at this point.

[kimlovescats]

Thank you Kim and Lorraine!

Carole, I appreciate your understanding and support!

Jenn, thank you for the reminders ... I am often my own worst enemy!

[cassiesmom]

That is another whole story. At the last minute, I decided to show up for the temporary custody hearing for Denise (Chad's mom) to get custody of Jenna. All I knew was that it was at 1:00 p.m. I went to the clerk's office and asked which courtroom. They told me the floor and room number and that was all. When I got there, court was already in session, so I tried to quietly slip in on one of the back rows. Well, to my surprise, the judge told me that I was not allowed in there and to leave the courtroom. I got up and headed for the door ... the only thing I said as I went through the doorway was "she's my grandbaby!" The female judge sent her guard out after me. He stops me and says, "the judge wants to speak to you" and I replied "I'm sure she does". I went back in and she told me that I was not allowed in a private hearing and she wanted "respect". I threw my hands up and said "I didn't know!" She said she understood and to be respectful and leave the courtroom. I have been humiliated and shamed by my daughter for the LAST time!!!!!

How unprofessional of the judge to have a hissy-fit on the bench. And, Kim, I would see it differently if you were some nosy neighbor or someone else who did not have Jenna's best interests at heart; but you are her grandmother and as such, do you not have a right to be present during court proceedings involving her? I'm not an attorney, but I am having trouble understanding why you would not be permitted in the courtroom. I hope that you, Chad and his mother will remain on positive terms so you'll continue to have contact with Jenna. I will keep praying.

[Karen]

Kim, you will continue to be in our prayers. I am glad that Chad's mother and you get along, even if her son is an idjit. When will you find out about custody hearing results?