Terribly worried about my daughter and grandbaby! *UPDATE Page 3*

[kimlovescats]

How much more can a mother's heart break? My daughter confessed to me last night that she has been using some very dangerous drugs. She even did one recently in the presence of my grandbaby, Jenna. I am devastated!!!! I pleaded with her to let me take her to a hospital last night for help. She had almost agreed then her "husband" got involved and talked her out of it. He was yelling at her in the background and she ended up denying that she was in trouble and hung the phone up on me.

Today, she got a new job (that's good at least, but for how long) and acted like everything is "fine". I know it's far from fine. I told her that I was happy that she got this job, but she needs to address the real issues. She just brushed it off as "it won't happen again" ... a typical response..... and hugged me and left.

I don't know what to do, or where to turn. Her husband is a felon, drug user, thief, and I know he is controlling her. She only just moved back in with him this weekend .... to "work on their marriage". I have basically found out that I have NO legal rights as a grandmother to help my grandbaby, and I have no physical PROOF to hold up in court. She can admit anything she wants to me, but without real proof, it is just "hear say"!

In the meantime, her mother-in-law and I are making ourselves available to take turns keeping Jenna as much as we possibly can. Always trying to stay on top of things and get her out of any situation we can. At least my daughter's sister-in-law has a big mouth and tells her mother everything. Of course mom doesn't want her baby boy to do more jail time!

Add to this, the fact that my ex-husband has long since dis-owned my daughter and is what she stated last night is the main source / cause of her problems!!!! I sent "Daddy" a very direct e-mail last night, telling him that he better put his pride behind him and step up and be a father to his 1st child, if he has any feelings left for her at all .... before it's too late!!!! Amy Beth has even contemplated suicide.

I don't know what to do ..... I have never been so scared and felt so helpless in my life. I know what NEEDS to happen, but there are glitches and loopholes everywhere I turn!

PRAYERS, PLEASE, that's all I know that I can do at this point for my baby girl and grandbaby.

Thank you,
Kim

[Edwina's Secretary]

I am so sorry Kim....I can only imagine how helpless and frightened and frustrated and angry you must feel.

Unfortunately...all I can do is send you my sympathy. I wish there was more...

[Catty1]

Call Family Services...from a payphone, if you really want to be anonymous.

Prayers are wonderful - and there are God-given people who are trained and willing to help.

Please call, or have a friend call them! They need intervention!

HUGS!

[kimlovescats]

Thank you, Sara. Just a kind word is helpful!

Deb, thank you for the book title, I can use all the support I can get! I need to feel like I am making the "right" choices and decisions when I make them. What is best for everyone, but most importantly, baby Jenna!!!

Catty .... I know you are right. My sister offered to be the "one" to call, but I don't know if she will. Everyone is so scared of what could happen.

[Soapets]

Even though you are afraid of what might happen, it needs to be done. It is MORE frightening to think of what might happen if nobody calls and reports them.

PRAY, and have faith that things will work out for the best. Pray for God to put the right people in the position to intervene at the right times, and it will happen. Pray for strength to trust in God, and for guidance every step of the way. And pray for God to keep a protective shield around Jenna first, and then your daughter and "son-in-law" and other family members. It WORKS!!

I'll be keeping you and everyone involved in my prayers, in this manner, and will be checking for updates. Let me know what you think of that book...

Deb

[Karen]

Someone needs to call, you know that. Better now than when it is too late.

You will be in our prayers.

[kimlovescats]

Deb, prayer is the only thing that I have relied on thus far. Without my Faith in God, I would have crumbled long ago. I pray constantly for intervention, that He will show me the way, what to do, what I CAN do, and that most of all, He will send a guardian angel to protect baby Jenna. Of course I pray that He protects my precious daughter as well! I lie in bed at night and run terrible scenarios through my head of what might be happening and what COULD happen ... then I have to turn it over to God and ask for peace so that I can sleep.

I want so badly to rely on my Faith and to Trust fully in Him, but I prayed for years and years for my brother. He finally died in a pharmacy late one night while trying to get more pills. He fell out in the floor with a seizure, fractured his skull, and was brain dead. Finally after days of life support with no brain activity, my parents had to make the difficult decision to turn the machines off. He was my "big brother" .... he was physically handicapped since birth and although I was 8 years younger than him, I always felt very protective of him. We all prayed earnestly for him for years and years on end, and ultimately he died a horrible death. I still in my heart have not forsaken my Lord and I trust that He had His hand in what happened with my brother. It is taking every ounce of Faith I have, to continue to Trust and Believe that my girls are in His hands as well, but I do BELIEVE and TRUST in My LORD GOD!

Kim

[Glacier]

Kim,

I was a child protection social worker for a number of years. I could not agree more with the other posters who said you need to report your concerns. Everyone who knows about the issues needs to make a report. The more information the social worker has, the better she can protect your granddaughter. It sounds like your daughter needs help too and they could help her get it together so she can parent safely.

I'm not sure if they have a program like this where you live, but where I used to work we often used "kinship foster homes." They were relatives of the kids in care, didnt' matter what the relationship was--grandparent, aunt, cousin, ect. Often the foster parent was preapproved well in advance of the child coming into care. It was a bit of a precaution. We knew there were issues in the family. If a child had to be removed in a hurry, a pre-approved home made things much easier-on both the child, the parent and the social worker. Might be something to ask your local department about.

Good luck. I hope both your daughter and grandbaby get the help they need before any major damage is done.

[Soapets]

I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers....................

If Jenna is in any danger, you'll need to report them to the authorities, though. As difficult as that would be, it would force them to get some help and Jenna would be safe. Social Service agencies try to work with families, and if at all possible try to place children with biological family members......at least here. In the long run it might be the best thing for them.

Try reading the book "The Power of a Praying Parent" by Stormie Omartian, also. That helped me a LOT with the situation with my son. It gives you a sense of being able to do something, whether or not your daughter is aware of it or accepts it.........

{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Deb

[Daisy and Delilah]

I'm so sorry to hear this Kim. You must be ready to collapse under this pressure. My heart goes out to you. I agree that someone needs to report this situation before it's too late. Some good advice has been given here. I also agree that your daughter needs to get away from this man. He sounds far too toxic and dangerous. It's easy for me to say this but not so easy to accomplish the right way. I understand completely.

I have a friend that has a sister with a very similar situation. Her daughter lived a life very much like you've described. With a young daughter in the house, she continued to hang out with the wrong crowd, use drugs, and generally ignore the fact that her child was present. My friend's sister(Grandmother of the little girl), took the child away from her daughter to save her from this life. She fought day and night, tooth and nail, until she gained custody of the child. The little girl is now a beautiful 12 year old, still living with her Grandmother, and living a wonderful, well adjusted, life. The girl's Mom finally gave up life in the fast lane, had another baby, and settled down. Bottom line....I believe you do have the rights to save Jenna from harm as her Grandmother. I don't know how your state laws work but I wish you all the best. My heart breaks for you. Please keep us updated. You'll all be in my thoughts and prayers.

I have to mention something. In the fact that your daughter is having such a hard time due to the absence in of her Dad in her life; maybe you could mention to her that she needs to take heed to that and look around to see what she's doing to her daughter by living like this. {{{{HUGS}}}}

[Pam]

I have to mention something. In the fact that your daughter is having such a hard time due to the absence in of her Dad in her life; maybe you could mention to her that she needs to take heed to that and look around to see what she's doing to her daughter by living like this. {{{{HUGS}}}}

What wise words D&D, and this last paragraph really says a lot. Kim, maybe if your daughter can see that she is following in her dad's footsteps by not being there 100% for her daughter it might wake her up. Just because a parent is there on the premises doesn't mean that they are really there for their kids, especially if they are using drugs or alcohol.

Kim I am so glad your faith is strong and I pray that God will give you peace about this as you continue to ask for His help. I can't offer advice or words of wisdom but I can pray and I will. ((((hugs))))

[catnapper]

Oh dear Kim! Things have progressed very badly since last we talked (((hugs)))

I would call child services - I know its scary but you have two lives to think of here. Your daughter isn't a lost cause, but she might very well be if she continues to stay with her wonderful husband. I know you were afraid of what they were doing in front of Jenna and now you know. If she told you one thing, might there be more that she hasn't revealed to you? Too scary to contemplate - which is why I'd call child services and make sure everyone gets the help they need to stop this destructive cycle they're on.


You know where I am if you need to talk

[Sara luvs her Tinky]

It sounds to me like your daughter was asking for help when she was confessing to you. Maybe she is wanting you to do something because she feels like she can't.

It is good you are praying... God knows the best answer... but I think i would suggest calling child services too...

I think too that if it was bad enough that they do give the children to paternal relatives... Not that it would go that far.. but it sounds like your daughter wants help...

you guys will be in my prayers!

[Randi]

Kim, I'm so sorry you're going through this. When I was younger, I had friends/aquintances who were taking hard drugs, two times I had to get one girl into hospital to be pumped out, or she would have died. People not knowing drug addicts just won't believe the lies they come up with to get what they want - even to their closest family.

I think your daughter is at a stage where she can be "saved" though, but she needs to stay away from the father of her child to get any further in her life! Considering her age, she is probably very easy to influence, but she needs to hang out with entirely different friends.

Here, one of the things which worked, was showing documentaries to people like your daughter, where rehabilitated drug addicts told/showed what can happen. It is shocking to watch, but it might help her see what kind of life it can lead to.

Still, I think you should call the Child Services and at least have a chat about the situation, they're there to help!

Good luck!!

[Russian Blue]

I have to mention something. In the fact that your daughter is having such a hard time due to the absence in of her Dad in her life; maybe you could mention to her that she needs to take heed to that and look around to see what she's doing to her daughter by living like this.

I totally agree. Many times we place ourselves in situations without regard to our safety. But when pointed out that a child is following in your footsteps because of your actions...it may 'wake' her up a bit and get herself and her daughter into a safe environment.

Right now all you can do is call child services and make a report and see if they can offer other resources. I think you need to find a way so you can have 'control' of this situation before you fall apart in despair. By taking proactive steps (calling child services) you can place maybe one small part of your mind at ease. I'm sorry your going through this Kim - I can only imagine how upsetting and heartbreaking this is.

((( Hugs to you )))